Rabu, 30 November 2016

Just a Death Note or whatever you're supposed to call it

I hate to make a death note. Not that kinda death note, where you put the name of people you hate and the next day they'd be dead. No, I would love to make that one.

But here I'm talking about the note that you make before you die. Is it even called death note? Anyway, I hate that because usually, not long after someone makes a dead note, he/she dies. It's like they already know or something.

Of course I really wish I'm not gonna die soon, but, some people, people around me, people that I know, people that are around my age, celebrities, they just died.
Some of them died of illness, mostly cancer. It took months before they died. But some just died in a blink of an eye. Some because of accidents, sometimes even silly, weird, very unlikely accidents, and the other because of some quick-death-related illness, like heart attack. Well, mostly heart attack.

That's horrible. One night you slept and you just didn't wake up the next morning.
It made me think how lucky we are to be able to wake up every morning. To see one more sunrise everyday, one more morning. Okay, I didn't mean this article to be so dramatic, so I'll just stop with the waking up thing.

All the death of people I know, whether because I know them or just because they're famous, or because they're Game of Thrones characters, those death scared me.
For me, death is the saddest thing in the world. Either it's the death of the people you love or your own, they're just as sad. Thing is, you have to say goodbye. Forever.

I'm not really a fan of the after life, any theories of it, whatsoever. No, I don't believe any version of the after life. They're all just as silly.

So, when someone (including you) die, that's it. You won't meet your loved ones anymore. Then, if you're the one who lives, you'd start regretting all the things you've done or even worst, never done to or with your loved ones. You wish you'd spend more time with them, you wish you'd treat them better, you wish you've done better. You wish you had never done nor said anything that make them sad.

Maybe the most ideal death is like the one in the cancer movies. You know almost 100% you're gonna die before your loved ones, so you prepare everything, you make your note, telling anybody anything you wanna say.

Thing is, you don't know how, where, and when you're gonna die. So, make your death note now. Yeah or whatever you're supposed to call it.

There are still so many things I wanna do before I die. First, I wanna make sure that my life insurance payment is still paid.

Then the other things.
I wanna visit all 115 provinces in all 20 regions in Italy. I wanna visit all regions in Greece, all countries in Europe, and all continents in the world. Living beyond that dream would be freaking awesome!

I wanna watch Game of Thrones season 7. Let's hope that I would cross this from my list next year.

I wanna speak at least 30 languages. Or at least these specific languages: Italian, Spanish, Portuguese, French, Greek, Japanese, German, and Dutch. Or at least the first 6 of them. Right now I'm learning them and I can already communicate with Italian, Spanish, Portuguese, and a little bit French.

I wanna study philosophy, I wanna study anthropology, history, astronomy, mathematics, I wanna go back to college over and over again. I wish I live as long as the earth so I can learn everything.

I still have plenty on my wish list.

And of course, if I have to die first, I would say to my family how much I love them. How much they mean to me. How blessed I am to be born in such a lovely family. I aways wish to make them happy. The only thing on my priority list that I put higher than their happiness is...my own happiness.

Well, don't judge me. The only reason you wanna see your family happy is because it makes you happy. What else? So it's always about you anyway.
Which makes me think, is it actually selfish to wish to die before your loved ones? Maybe it is.

This is a bit out of the topic (since I probably have ADD, my thoughts always jumping), but if you have to choose, if you really have to choose, if the Joker or JigSaw put you in a game where you had to choose between killing your family and save everyone in the world, or kill yourself and killing everyone in the world, what would you choose?

But then again, why would being alive be that much of a big deal, anyway? I mean, most people believe that this life isn't permanent anyway. So, would it really matter to give your life to save many other lives?

Has anyone really found the true meaning of life?
Okay, so I failed to make a death note. It turned out to be the question of life and death all over again.

Minggu, 20 November 2016

Pertemuan ke Dua

Senin, 21 November, 2016

Lo inget nggak sih, beberapa kali lo ditolong orang asing di saat lo sedang mengalami kesulitan di tempat umum, entah di jalan, di mal, di kendaraan umum, dsb? Mungkin orang itu dorongin mobil lo yang lagi mogok. Mungkin orang itu bayarin ongkos lo naik angkutan umum saat lo lupa bawa uang kecil dan supir/keneknya ngga punya kembalian. Mungkin orang itu minjemin e-toll-nya saat lo masuk GTO tapi lo lupa kalo lo ngga bawa e-toll.

Bantuan dari orang2 asing itu bisa kecil, bisa gede. Tapi yang jelas pada saat itu lo ngerasa sangat bersyukur dan berterimakasih. Lo berharap bisa bales kebaikan mereka. Tapi lo ngga bisa. Karena kalian ngga saling kenal, dan setelah kejadian itu mungkin lo udah ngga pernah ketemu lagi sama orang2 itu. Lo cuman bisa berdoa, semoga Tuhan membalas kebaikan mereka berkali lipat.

Tapi lo inget nggak sih tampang mereka kaya apa? Di antara sekian banyaknya orang asing yang pernah nolongin lo dengan ikhlasnya, ada nggak sih, satuuu aja yang bisa lo inget tampangnya kaya apa?

Saat lo ditolong, lo berharap suatu hari nanti lo bisa ketemu mereka lagi dan gantian nolongin mereka. Tapi masalahnya, lo inget muka mereka aja agak mustahil kan?

Mungkin sebenernya lo ketemu lagi sama mereka. Kalo pas kebetulan mereka butuh pertolongan lo sih, walaupun di pertemuan ke dua itu kalian sama2 lupa kalo pernah ketemu sebelumnya, pasti lo akan otomatis nolongin. Bukan karena lo inget itu siapa, tapi karena pada dasarnya manusia akan refleks menolong orang yang butuh pertolongan.

Masalahnya adalah, di pertemuan ke dua lo dengan orang yang pernah nolongin lo, mungkin kondisinya ngga seperti itu. Mungkin di pertemuan ke dua, dia adalah orang yang nyerobot antrian lo, atau nyalip mobil lo, atau motornya nyenggol mobil lo, atau ngerokok di deket lo, atau ngga ngasi lo jalan saat lo mau nyebrang di zebra cross, atau hal2 menyebalkan lainnya.

Mereka emang pernah nolongin lo, dan saat itu lo amat sangat berterimakasih. Tapi gimanapun juga, bukan salah lo dan bukan salah mereka, kalo kalian saling lupa muka satu sama lain. Saat lo ketemu lagi, orang itu udah bukan siapa2 buat lo. Saat dia melanggar hak lo, ya lo pasti marah.

Mungkin orang2 lain udah punya pemikiran seperti ini, atau mereka pada dasarnya udah baik aja ya, ngga kaya gue, cuma tiba2 gue punya ide untuk ngga marah sama orang asing.

Pas masi SD gue suka dibully sama anak2 lainnya. Orangtua gue selalu bilang, "Kamu jangan mau dong digituin. Kamu harus berani ngelawan mereka."

Akhirnya, sampe sekarang gue masih suka mikir, bahwa kalo hak gue dilanggar, gue harus marah, gue harus bales. Karena kalo ngga gitu, berarti gue pengecut. Gue jadi temperamental dan model2 senggol dikit bacok.

Tapi mulai sekarang, semoga gue bisa ngga pernah marah lagi sama orang2 asing yang ngerokok di deket gue, ngga ngasi jalan di zebra cross, atau bahkan mas2 pinggir jalan yang suka iseng godain.

Salah satu alasan gue adalah, mungkin di masa lalu mereka pernah nolongin gue, atau di masa depan bisa aja mereka akan nolongin gue. Gue cuma lupa aja muka mereka. Gue kan bukan binatang, yang ngga pernah lupa sama orang yang pernah nolongin. (Sekali2 lah binatang dikonotasikan dengan sesuatu yang positif)

Emang orang yang ngelanggar zebra cross, ngerokok sembarangan, nyerobot antrian itu salah, merugikan, dan ngeselin. Dan belom tentu juga mereka salah satu dari orang yang pernah nolongin lo. Tapi secara lo juga ngga inget muka penolong2 lo itu kaya apa, ya pukul rata aja lah, baik aja sama semua orang. Ngga ada ruginya ini.