Midnight Rant to Georgia

2am

It's amazing how my brain could keep blabbering and blabbering, telling stories in all possible ways, when I'm far away from my computer. It's like my brain telling me over and over again to reach my computer right away, and write this and that, but right after I finally decide to make such an effort to reach my computer.......poof!

It's gone!

The inspiration has gone, the stories gone, the words are gone. Well, good bye guys! Call me maybe?

And then I always end up playing minesweeper for hours, waiting for my inspiration to come back, or at least gimme a call.

I was trying too hard to sleep. And I couldn't, because my brain kept telling me stories. It's two o'clock in the morning and I just couldn't sleep! I woke up very early yesterday, haven't got any other sleep for the rest of the day, I worked, I thought a lot, I ate a lot, didn't drink any coffee...so.. Shouldn't I be sleepy right now??


I tried to read a book, but it didn't make me sleepy. It made me bored instead. As much as I'm a talker not a listener, I'm a writer not a reader. I'm too snob to appreciate other people's work. No, Puzo, Pram, and GRR Martin, of course I'm kidding. I love you guys!
What I meant was, as someone who likes to talk and write, I don't listen and read as much as I'm supposed to.

I really need to sleep! I gotta get up really early tomorrow. If I couldn't sleep until three, I wouldn't sleep at all.

You know what? Let's tell a bedtime story.

Once upon a time...
No, not that kinda bedtime stories. Let's just tell one of stories of my life.

When I was little, I used to think that, when a girl turned into a woman, she'd automatically give birth to a baby or more. That scares the s*** outta me. I was afraid because I already knew there were some women die giving birth. So, when I was little, I thought I was going to die giving birth to babies by the time I turned into a woman.

But then I found out that, to be able to have a baby, a woman need to f**k a man. Problem solved. Don't f**k.

No, kidding again. I wasn't that bright. I was a kid. I didn't know anything about f**king. All I know was man and woman get married and they'd automatically have babies. And that was the time I decided not to ever get married.

And now I'm finally sleepy. Good night fellas!

And here I write about Love again

I wrote this on V-day but just got chance to post it on my blog because I finally got the internet connection. Happy belated valentine's day guys!

Sunday, February 14, 2016

So today started with the most hilarious birthday surprise I’ve ever been involved in. (If you’re here to read about the love, just skip to the 6^th paragraph)

Today is one of my best friends’ birthday. He was my friend from internship program from campus, and now also a friend in my team at the office. He’s like the best boy friend any girl can ever imagine. Well, I have two other very close boy friends that I love very much, and I’m not saying that this birthday boy is better than them. It’s just that, the other boys don’t have good girl friends as much as the birthday boy. Seriously, this guy has lots of girl bestfriends and he treats all of us like his girlfriend. And he’s not gay. And not a player. And never complained anything about being in the friend zone. I have proofs for all of those statements.

Yeah bro, if you read this blog, you’re the nicest person ever! You deserve all the best things in life. And happy birthday again.

Anyway, the surprise didn’t go as planned… at all. We, the surprise team were at McDonald and was going to surprise him at his house. But, we didn’t, and still don’t have phone numbers of any of other people in the birthday boy’s house. So, we had to contact the birthday boy himself. One of us, one of my best boy friends, texted birthday boy, saying that his car got a flat tire and he needed to borrow some tools. We were supposed to wait outside his house, but he already walked to McDonald instead. We were panicking. Well, funny kinda panic, not panic panic.

At the end, he caught us hiding, red-handed, and I got to bring the cake to him with all the candle still off. We had to light the candle in front of him! OMG! It was a total failure, but it was funny and memorable. I imagine if the surprise was successful, it would’ve be just like some birthday surprise SOP. You know, cake, candles, those things.

(Yeah you can skip to this part)

And it’s valentine’s day. So my friends were talking about valentine, dating, love, and that kinda stuffs.

I was kinda offended when one of the men said “It’s a problem for a woman to be single.”

Yeah, as a proud feminazi, of course I’m offended. How come is that a problem? Does he think that women need men more than men need women? Men need women more than women need men! Hell! Women need women more than women need men! I do.

Well, ignore my feminazi biased opinion. But seriously, how many single daddies can raise their children without getting next wives?

Okay, feminazi biased opinion again. But point is, is that why men and women get married? Because they need each other? Because they can’t live alone? Because human can’t live alone?

The whole who-need-who-more idea kinda scares me. It doesn’t always feel good being needed too much. I’m already afraid of needy partner. But lately I started to feel scared of needy friends too. I was scared that one day my friends need me more than I need them. I’m needy myself. I’m needy to my brother and sister, and I know it’s not a good thing.

I once wrote about relationships and advantages. It’s easy to call someone ‘taking advantage’ from you when they want your money. But if they want you for your funny jokes, for the joy of your companion, for the happiness of having your presence, aren’t those ‘taking advantage’ too?

I just realized something. Most of our relationships are based on needing each other. We wanna stay with our family, our friends, lovers, children, because we need them and they need us. Because human can't live alone, because we don't wanna grow old alone, and stuff.

At some point, one of us needs the other more than the other one does, and sometimes people just leave. And some people can’t live without their certain people, and get depressed when being left alone. It’s scary for me.

As John Lennon once said, “I can be alone without Yoko, but I just have no wish to be. There’s no reason on earth why I should be alone without Yoko.”

There.

I want to spend my life with someone that I don’t need and doesn’t need me. We would spend the rest of our life together, not because we need each other, not because we can’t live without each other, not because human can't live alone, not because we're afraid of being old and alone, but simply because we want to be with each other.

Now that’s my idea of perfect true love. Well, that, and a couple of rings with “My Sun and Stars” written inside his and “Moon of My Life” inside mine. What? That’s not cheesy! That’s ‘Game of Thrones’!

Short Notes: Me and Puberty

February 7, 2016

In my puberty years, I was 14 or something, the first time I found oil on my head. I thought I was gonna be rich. Nah, of course I'm joking. I freaked out, I thought I was gonna die. Yeah, I wasn't that bright afterall. Wait, nobody said I was? Yeah, whatever. Point is, my mom already told me about the bleeding and all the sexual-related puberty stuffs. But nobody ever told me that my hair's gonna start producing oil. The kinda oil that isn't gonna make you rich.