Dirgahayu RI!

Jumat, 17 Agustus, 2018

SelamatHari Kemerdekaan Indonesia!
Dirgahayu ke-73 RI! Udah lumayan tua ya negara kita.

Apa yang biasanya lo lakukan untuk merayakan hari kemerdekaan ini?

Gue biasanya jalan-jalan...ke masa lalu.

Iya, di masa lalu, masa kecil gue dulu, 17-an selalu dirayakan meriah banget di RT dan RW setempat. Ada lomba-lomba antar warga se-RT, lalu ada lagi lomba-lomba antar RT se-RW. Belom! Belom sampe tingkat antar RW se-kelurahan. Seru kali ya kalo sampe kelurahan, udah kaya Paskibra.

Dulu gue paling semangat tiap 17-an!
Karena dulu gue masi tinggal di komplek perumahan yang asik banget, yang warganya kompak dan aktif, dan gue masi sekolah.
Jadi, baik di rumah maupun di sekolah, gue mengikuti berbagai macam lomba.

Ada lomba khas 17-an seperti lomba makan kerupuk, balap karung, balap kelereng, bakiak, dan yang paling seru buat gue, panjat pinang!
Ada juga lomba dan kompetisi lain seperti panco, tarik tambang, sepakbola pakai daster/sarung, dan lain-lain.

Jujur aja, pas di RT gue cuma supporter. Banyak yang lebih jago makan kerupuk sama balap karung, nggak bisa main voli, nggak bisa ikut main bola karena cuma ada buat cowok, dan balap kelereng cuma buat anak-anak.

Tapi di sekolah, gue lumayan aktif. Biasanya gue ikut lomba bakiak, tarik tambang, sama udah pasti main sepakbola dong!

Selain itu, setiap 17-an, sekolah gue selalu mengirimkan tim Paskibra untuk bersaing di tingkat, kelurahan, kecamatan, bahkan sempat mencapai tingkat nasional! Gue yang sama sekali nggak ikutan Paskibra aja ikutan bangga.

Lalu gue lulus sekolah, dan lulus kuliah, dan pindah ke komplek rumah yang sekarang. Pertama-tama, nggak ada perayaan 17-an, oh mungkin karena lagi pada puasa, karena waktu itu 17 Agustus pas Ramadhan. Selama 3-4 tahun 17 Agustus jatuh pada saat orang-orang puasa atau lebaran. Tapi setelahnya, ternyata emang nggak pernah ada lomba atau acara apa-apa.

Waktu gue ngelirik komplek-komplek sebelah dan sekitar, ternyata mereka pada ngerayain 17-an dengan berbagai macam lomba.

Memang rumput tetangga selalu lebih...merah-putih ya.

Tapi sebenernya, kalo dipikir-pikir, kenapa gue, dan juga orangtua gue, selalu mengeluh bahwa di komplek kita ini nggak ada acara-acara untuk merayakan 17-an? Orangtua gue selalu mengeluh, katanya warga di sini nggak ada inisiatif.
Lah, kami kan warga juga? Kenapa nggak kami saja yang berinisiatif mengadakan acara dan lomba-lomba untuk 17-an?
Mungkin tahun depan bisa dicoba. Kali aja, berawal dari EO 17-an RT, tau-tau bisa berkembang jadi EO kejuaraan dunia balap karung. Eh ada nggak sih? Siapa tau ada.

Masih soal ngeluh-mengeluh nih, kedua orangtua gue tuh suka banget ngeluh soal tetangga-tetangga yang males pasang bendera tiap 17 Agustus. Beneran loh! Bahkan kalo soal ini mereka nggak cuma ngeluh, tapi juga menegur satu-satu tetangga yang nggak pasang bendera.

Yah, ini balik lagi ke masing-masing sih ya. Tapi kalo menurut gue, sebagai orang yang merasa terganggu dengan orang lain yang mengusik cara orang beragama dan beribadah, gue nggak akan mengusik hubungan orang lain dengan negara.

Bukan cuma gue loh yang nggak suka kalo orang ikut campur masalah agama dan kepercayaan. Kedua orangtua gue pun paling anti sama yang mengatasnamakan agama untuk menuduh orang lain sesat. Hubungan orang dengan Tuhan itu personal, cukup buat masing-masing aja, nggak perlu ngurusin orang lain. Kita sendiri juga belum tentu agamanya udah sempurna.

Nah apa bedanya sama hubungan orang dengan negara? Kami pasang bendera, sejak seminggu sebelum dan seminggu setelah hari kemerdekaan. Lalu ada beberapa orang yang hanya pasang bendera pada saat hari kemerdekaan, dan ada yang tidak pasang bendera sama sekali. Apakah mereka kurang nasionalis dibandingkan kami?

Apa yang sudah kami lakukan untuk negara? Tidak usah bicara besar. Apakah kami lebih memilih produk lokal daripada produk luar? Apakah kami lebih banyak menonton film lokal daripada Hollywood? Apakah kami lebih memilih berlibur ke tujuan wisata lokal daripada internasional? Kalo yang terakhir, iya sih, tapi lebih karena murah aja.

Ibu gue itu orangnya anti banget sama yang lokal-lokal. "Udah beli mahal-mahal, jauh-jauh di luar negri, taunya buatan Indonesia," entah berapa ribu kali komentar semacam itu keluar dari mulutnya, dan ibu-ibu lainnya.
Tiap diajakin nonton film Indonesia, "Oh film Indonesia ya? Mamah nggak deh kalo film Indonesia."
Ya, iya sih, gue pun mengakui, masih banyak film Indonesia yang mengecewakan. Tapi banyak juga kok yang jauh lebih bagus dari film luar, apalagi film Hollywood.
Tiap denger lagu, pas denger musiknya padahal menikmati, eh begitu kata-katanya keluar, ternyata bahasa indonesia, langsung buru-buru diganti.
Entah kenapa ya, ibu gue ini antiii banget sama yang indonesia-indonesia. Kayaknya tuh, alergi apa gimana gitu.
Makanya gue juga heran, kenapa sih lo ngurusin banget orang mau pasang bendera apa nggak?

Dan orang kaya gitu bukan cuma satu loh di Indonesia. Banyak coy! Seperti orang-orang yang ngerasa lebih beriman dari yang lain, sehingga yang lain sesat. Setiap orang yang ngerasa nasionalis pun seenaknya ngecap orang lain kurang nasionalis, atau bahkan anti NKRI.
Setiap kubu politik, baik yang mendukung si A maupun si B, si C, atau si D, apapun ideologinya, sama-sama merasa lebih nasionalis, lebih pancasilais, dan lebih berhak untuk berteriak "NKRI harga mati!"
Yakin? Gue todong pistol juga lo pindah kewarganegaraan!

Udah lah, nggak usah koar-koar mana yang bener mana yang salah, mana yang nasionalis, mana yang nggak. Gue yakin kok semua rakyat Indonesia cinta sama Indonesia, bangga menjadi bangsa Indonesia, dan mengabdi pada negara dengan caranya masing-masing. Yang paling penting itu kita damai dan bersatu!

Ironis banget kan, teriak-teriak NKRI harga mati, tapi masih kemakan juga sama isu-isu pemecah belah bangsa?

The Father and the Children

Sunday, May 27, 2018

(Originally posted on May 23, 2018)


Once upon an absurd time and place, where such event could possibly occur, there were this father and his four children.

The eldest son, the 7 years old Jack, was very close to his father. His father was  too happy and proud of his firstborn. So, his father always treated him well and full of love.

Jack loved his father very much. In Jack's eyes, his father was a loving and caring family man who would never harm his children in any way. Jack was very obedient, not because he was afraid, but because he loved his father.

Things were different for the second son, the 6 years old Mike. He was born in the time of war, so the father was harder on him. He scolded him a lot and sometimes even hit him. However, Mike knew, no matter what, he had no other option but to be as obedient as possible, because his father was the only person who took care of him.

The third son, the 5 years old Artie, was still too young to even acknowledge that they had a father. Their father left before their youngest brother, the 3 years old Peter was born. So, he was too young to even remember him.

However, the mother kept telling the children that one day, their father would be back. And, because the father used to be very powerful and dominant in the house, in order to keep her children in order, the mother often spoke on behalf of the father, promised the children that they'd get rewards and punishments from their father for whatever they did.

After their father left, their mother had to work a lot, and Jack and Mike had to take care of Artie and Peter almost all the time. The mother didn't even have a chance to take care of or even speak to Artie and Peter herself.

Now they happened to live next to a river. Everytime the mother had to leave the house, everytime she told Jack and Mike to take care of their little brothers, Artie and Peter, she also warned them not to play in the river, because they could be drowned and dead. Of course she especially warned the two boys not to let their little brothers play in the river. And as always, she warned those boys about the rewards and punishments from the father, to make sure the boys would do what she told them and wouldn't do what she told them not.

She even left a note on the table. Since none of her boys could read, she made a drawing that showed 4 boys, a river flows, and a death symbol.

When the mother left, Jack and Mike were in charge. Jack and Mike didn't actually care about Artie or Peter. All they really cared about is their own good. The reason why Jack was willing to take care of his younger brothers was just because he wanted to make his father happy when he came back home. And for Mike, the reason was so his father wouldn't beat him. He would do anything to avoid punishments from his father.

It was easier to keep Artie and Peter from the river when they were little. But now that Artie was 5 and Peter was 3, it was getting a lot more challenging for Jack and Mike to do their job.

Jack was starting to let his brothers do whatever they want, because he believed his father wouldn't punish him anyway. He believed his father loved him to much to ever hurt him. He only cared about his father and didn't actually care about his brothers.

Mike, on the other hand, would never forget how scary their father could be when he was angry. So Mike started to threaten his younger brothers with violence. Just like Jack, Mike actually didn't care about his brothers at all. But he was so afraid of his father's punishments.

Meanwhile, Artie had actually been old enough to reason. None of the older siblings knew that Artie had made it  to the river once, and almost drowned. Artie was lucky enough, not only he somehow survived, but also that the older brothers never found out about it. But he learnt himself that the river could be dangerous.

So, while Jack lost his interest to keep his brothers away from the river, and Mike was so afraid of father's punishments, Artie kept Peter away from the river because he knew the river was dangerous, and he really cared about Peter. Artie didn't care about what his father would do. He didn't even believe of his existence in the first place.

One day, Jack, Mike, and Artie were finally off guard, and Peter made it to the river. Artie was the first to find out. He shouted, "Guys, Peter went to the river!" as he ran to the river to save Peter.

Mike was furious. He chased his two brothers. "Hey! What are you guys doing!? Father's gonna kill us!"

When Peter was almost drowned, Artie did anything he could to save him. Mike could've helped them, but he was too afraid to go to the river because he always remembered the punishment he'd get from his father. So he just watched. He would never, ever go to the river, no matter what.

But Artie and Peter made it anyway. And the three boys came back home. Artie and Peter was glad to survive from the river. But Mike was still furious.

Mike said, "Jack, we must kill Artie and Peter!"

Jack was calm. "But why?"

Mike took the note their mother left. "Jack, look at this note!"

Still Jack was calm. He said, "Relax, Mike, Father wouldn't punish us. He loves us."

"No Jack, look! Four boys must be us," Mike said. "This must be the river. And this must be death."

"And?"

"It means, anyone who got into the river should be killed! Father wants us to kill them, Jack!"

"No, we should not kill him."

"But if we didn't do it, if we didn't kill our brothers, Father would punish us!"

Artie was confused. "Hey Mike, we survived, why are you still upset?"

"Are you crazy! Father is going to punish us all!" Mike freaked out.

"But who is Father? Does he even exist? Wasn't Mother the one who wrote that note?" Artie asked, and his question made Mike even more furious.

Even the calm Jack was finally furious. "How dare you say that? How dare you doubt the existence of our father!?"

"Whatever she has written is a message from him. He is real and he is going to punish us!" said Mike.

"No he's not going to punish us," said Jack. "But he is real! And he loves us all!"

"So what? We survived the river, it's all that matters! We would not make the same mistake." said Artie.

So the three brothers kept on fighting. While they were busy fighting over what they should do about the 'river incident', they didn't realize that Peter was already making his way back to the river.

Peter made it to the river again. But that time, no one was there to save him. He was drowning while his brothers were busy arguing whether the Father exists or not, or whether he is a lover or a punisher.

What an irony, isn't it? The three older brothers could've just stopped fighting, been glad that they were all fine, and kept an eye on their little brother. But they were having an unnecessary fight instead.

Jack might love his father so much, but he wouldn't do anything to save his brother, because he didn't really care about him. He only cared about his father. In fact, he only cared about himself. As long as he knows his father wouldn't do anything to harm him, he wouldn't care whatever would happen to his brothers.

Mike would do anything to avoid his father's punishment. He was so afraid of his father. So yeah, he would do anything to make sure that his brothers didn't go to the river, not for his brother's sake, but for the sake of avoiding his father's punishment. Yes, it could have worked. The point was not letting the brothers go to the river, right?

But then, when the brothers really did, and was in danger, he wouldn't do anything to help them. Because avoiding his father's prohibition is more important for him than helping his brothers.

And the worse would be when he made a wrong interpretation of his mother's note. He would've done exactly the opposite of what his mother and father would want. Mike would or wouldn't do anything to avoid his father's punishments. And he might do something really bad just because a wrong interpretation told him to.

And Artie, well he was actually the only one who really cared about their youngest brother Peter. But what could he do against the more powerful brothers, who spoke in the name of the powerful father?

Why would anyone leave a bunch of children next to a dangerous river, with only an ambiguous note? That'll be another question.

But actually, couldn't the children just really cared about each other without having to think of rewards and punishments from their father? Or do the lessons of rewards and punishments had made them lose their common senses?


Aloha, A.

The Story of Ava and Benji

Friday, May 18, 2018

Meet Ava and Benji. Ava was a very beautiful cat and Benji was a super cute and adorable dog.

Ava and Benji were raised together as siblings. Ava and Benji have always loved each other. Until one day, they had to live separately. They didn't understand what really happened. But suddenly they had to say goodbye to each other for what seems to be forever.

Benji ended up in a house full of dogs and Ava ended up with other strayed cats.

His whole life, Benji had never spent enough time with other dogs. But one thing he learnt from his new friends was that cats are all evil. At first of course Benji didn't believe it, because he remembered Ava, his best friend forever. But while walking through the neighborhood with his new friends, he found some cats. He tried to convince his new friends that cats were harmful. But the cats were not Ava. Unlike Ava, they had never met any nice dogs that treat them nicely. So the cats attacked Benji. This kept happening every time, until finally Benji believed that all cats are evil. So finally he hated all cats. Of course he still remembered Ava. But he had concluded in his mind, that all cats are just evil. Ava was an exception, because she was raised with a dog. Benji even believed that Ava was actually evil, because she's a cat after all.

Meanwhile, Ava was also surprised to find out how cruel and aggressive a dog can be. Another cats had warned her not to be friends with dogs, because all dogs are evil. And just like Benji, at first Ava refused to believe that. But also like what Benji had experienced, Ava also found that all dogs she met were so mean to her. So, with time, finally Ava had to believe that all dogs are evil.

That's it. Everytime Benji saw a cat, he'd bark at it, chased it, and even attacked it. He no longer cared to get to know the cat first.
So did Ava. Everytime she met a dog, she ran, or got ready to protect herself. She hated every dogs.

Benji believed that all cats are evil, and Ava believed that all dogs are evil. And they themselves became living proofs of the evil dog and cat.


We can't blame them. They're just animals. Luckily, we are not animals.

Sophia

Gotta sort these things out

These thoughts of highly intelligent robots are really bothering me in any kinda way.

So, some couples of months or weeks ago, me and my friends were talking about this robot, Sophia. She’s the most famous robot recently, and yes it’s a she, and she even has a citizenship!

What really bothering me was these issues that the highly intelligent robots would want to rule the world, and probably make us, humans their slaves.

But one big question popped in my head: what do they need to rule the world for? What would they want this world to be?

First, let’s talk about: why would one want to rule the world?

I searched it on Google, since it was the fastest way to get any information, right? But it’s not totally reliable in delivering facts. Plus, it’s human’s psychology. It’s one the most complex things!

So, I can’t really know for sure why, but it must have something to do with their purpose in life, right? What do you think?

I mean, let’s say, you rule the world. Bam! Now, what are you going to do about that? Of course you want to do something with the world, that is suitable for your idea of a better world, that must have been according to your true purpose in life. Please give me other opinion if what I wrote didn’t make any sense, but right now, that’s what makes sense the most to me.

So, let’s say it was about purpose in life.

Meanwhile, doesn’t purpose in life have something to do with passion? Passion is something we think about all the time. Passion is about something we truly love, and love is a feeling. And the robots don’t have any feelings. How can a robot be sad, or angry, or happy? How can a robot love? How can a robot have a passion? How can a robot have any reason to rule the world?

But on the second thought, what is feeling, again? What is this thing we claim as feeling? Feeling is just one of so many reactions produced by our brain. It is programmed by our experiences, memories, hormones and chemical reactions in our bodies: some things that is highly possible to build in a robot.

So, basically, yes, robots can be so sophisticatedly made, so they can have what so close to resemblance feelings.

But how would the feeling-building-process be? How would it go? Either consciously or not, we do have purpose and objectives in life. I don’t even know about purpose in life. Why are we here? Why are we created?

Are we created with different purpose, same purpose, or no purpose at all? Are we just created to be able to have a purpose, based on our ability to feel, based on our ability to process all the information we get?

So, would the robots, be created with its creator’s personal life purpose (or maybe company purpose), or would they only be created with the ability to have their own life purpose?

These whole robot things really made me think a lot about humans and their creator, or maybe just about humans. We’ve been searching for our life purpose. Philosophers have been debating about the true meanings of life. I’ve been wondering about the meanings of life myself.

Now I think, the creation of these highly intelligent robots might be able to answer a lot of our questions about human, its creation, and its purpose, and the meaning of life one day.

Diseases of the Future

Friday, February 23, 2018

I've been thinking about the past, a lot. I love history of everything, even the things I'm not really into. History is always fun to learn. It's full of fun and unique facts.

But now I suddenly want to talk about futuristic things too. It's not really the first time, actually. I think of future as much as I think of the past. While the past is about fun facts and incredible information, the future is all about imagination.

Now, what very interesting for me is the medical world. Medical articles (along with criminal ones) have always been my favourite since I was little. I used to want to be a doctor, but my academic record just couldn't get me there.

I've talked about prehistoric diseases in this blog quite a while ago. I think it was last year or even the year before.

Prehistoric diseases was very interesting to talk about. I got my mind blown learning about them. Now I'm talking about the future diseases.

I've found this interesting article written by Alessia Andreotti (Ciao Signorina! Mi piace molto il suo articolo! Brava!)

https://www.nextnature.net/2015/03/diseases-of-the-future/

"Nowadays humans suffer from diseases that didn’t exist in the past, a trend that will probably continue into the future. A wide range of new disorders, especially related to the latest technologies, may affect us.

The disease of the future are related to our modern lifestyle, they affect the psyche but, in the long run, can also debilitate the organism. Computers, video games, office work, virtual realities, and their lumbering presence, are just some of the elements that have changed the context in which we live and the way we spend our time. Technology has found our new weaknesses and will exploit them.

Even if it’s impossible to know which pathogens will afflict us in the future, we can explore the health issues that could emerge as a consequence of technological advancements and our inability to cope with them. Virtual Reality Addiction, Nature Deficit Disorder, Computerization of the Personality, Nanotech Poisoning, shown below a selection of third millennium diseases."

You can read the rest of the article in the link above.

When searching for future diseases, I was thinking of something more biological, like... I don't know, new version of cancer or blood diseases. Well, if you read the article, you'll see that she wrote about the biological diseases too (metalosis maligna was the coolest one). But what interested me more were the psychological ones.

There are some diseases that I think I might have, or even a lot of us might have. Those diseases are 'Computerization of the Personality' and 'Virtual Reality Addiction'.

Yep, I definitely have 'Virtual Reality Addiction'. I could play 'The Sims' for hours, even days. It's ironic, that they made a game based on reality, that is so real people love it more than they love the reality itself. But it is explainable. The virtual reality looks like the reality we live in, but we can control more than we can do in real life. It is just so much better and that's why it is addictive.

But I'm really interested in how our personalities have been computerized. It is a fact that has been happening, no longer in the future. Well, the article was originally written in 2015. But even by then I think many people have already had computerized personalities.

Our personalities are affected a lot by the ones we interact with the most. It used to be our friends or family. But nowadays, we interact mostly with computer. We get so used to the way the computer receive, process, and respond to the information, we start to receive, process, and respond to information the way they do.

I think my lack of feeling (especially love) to my surroundings is the effect of my computerized personality. Everything has to be logical or I wouldn't be able to understand it. Wow! I didn't think it was a disease before!

I've lost my human side. I couldn't feel. I can't feel. And I've been okay with that. I'm still feeling okay with that. I'm just amazed by the realization.

But actually, how human are we supposed to be? Is that even a standard?

Highs and Lows of January

Tuesday, February 6, 2018

Day 30: My Highs and Lows of the Month

Yeah this challenge were supposed to be done in a month, starting at the first day of the month, and ending at the 30th day of the month, or most probably end of the month.

But I started this a week after January started, and now it ends at the end of the first week in February. But when we talk about the month here, I'll talk about January.

So here are my highs and lows in January.

My lows, of course, were those days between the 8th to the 16th of January when I was really sick. I hate being sick, especially being sick for that long! I couldn't do anything! I was so negative and angry.

My highs were the last couples of days of the month, where I spent so much happy time with my loved ones. Also that crazy phenomenon at the end of the month, that super blue blood moon. I've seen it! In 150 other years, I have to live in these years and got the chance to see that! There were at least three generations that didn't have a chance to see something like this.

Okay, those are my lattest 30 days. This is the last day of the challenge. The next challenge for me is to start a challenge in the 1st day of any month.

My February Goals

Monday, February 5, 2018

Day 29: My Goals for the Next 30 Days

This challenge should be started on the first day of the month and ended by the end of the month. So, I'm just gonna talk about February goals (and February is not even 30 days).

By the end of February, I must have finished making notes of my Japanese lessons.

Also, I'm currently chasing this guy's score on Duolingo. Right now, as I'm writing this, his score is 141059xp and mine is 138370xp. We're still 2689xp apart.
But just last week we were 6055xp apart (his was 140954 and mine was 134899). I came 3366xp closer in only a week! Isn't it crazy!? Ah well, you'll understand if you use Duolingo. If you're not, I'll tell you this, to achieve our maximum daily goals, we only need 50xp, but my rate is 480xp/day.

Right after I finished all my Japanese lessons and got my Japanese trophy, I started to chase this guy. But you know, a lot of things came in between, and when I started to really chase this guy, our scores were like... I don't know... probably about 20000xp apart. The last days on December 2017, I predicted that I'd catch up with him somewhere around my sister's wedding (it will be on July 22). But then, each day the prediction moves closer and closer. It moved to earlier day in July, then to end of June, then to earlier day in June, to May, to April, and guess what! Now I think I would have reached him by the end of this month! How amazing is that!

And for making money business, I have to make some productions according to my annual goal, but I wouldn't let anyone know about it.

I really need to start saving for my trip. I must save at least 10% of the expense I need for my trip!

Oh my God!! Tomorrow would be the last day of this challenge!! Woohoo!

Things I Find Hilarious

Sunday, February 4, 2018

Day 28: Post 5 Things that made you laugh out loud

Oh wow! Three more days! It's almost over!

Okay, please don't judge me for my sense of humour, but, I find these really funny, and I literally laughed out loud for these:

1. Funny talk show with my favourite celebrities. I'm a big fan of GoT, so these examples might only be funny for GoT fans:

Lena Headey and Jimmy Kimmel talk Game of Thrones style:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ngj2_Xjjsw&app=desktop

Khaleesi from the valley
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIBg-w6TNLE&app=desktop


2. These hilarious arab pranks:

Especially on 1:21 on this one
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UlnC0u6ls4&app=desktop

Here's another one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fMmENfH14So&app=desktop


3. This Instagram account @classicalaf
Here are my favourite posts:

4. Supernatural S6 E15: "The French Mistake"
http://m.imdb.com/title/tt1627712/
This one is also kinda local jokes only a Supernatural fan would understand.


5. Modern Family
This TV series always makes me laugh out loud, but my favourite part is when Phil bought an alpaca. And it's funny for me because it looks like something my silly brother would do in the same situation.

Just This Thought

Saturday, February 3, 2018

Day 27: Conversely, write about something that's kicking ass right now

I just had this conversation with my sister. Yeah we always talk about everything, mostly about people and life.

And what's really kicking ass is our realization of the so-called 'the one'.

You know, in getting married, in choosing someone to spend the rest of our life with, we have to find 'the one'. 'She's the one', 'He's the one', 'When you know, you know'.

So, ideally, when you find 'the one', you guys get married to each other and love each other till death do you part.

Ideally.

But some people get married just because we have to, especially here in Indonesia. So, many people are trapped in an unhappy marriage because they have made a commitment to love the wrong person for the rest of their lives.

But that's not what's kicking ass. Me and my sister are the idealist type when it comes to love and marriage. We better not to get married than to have to get married with the person we're not in love with.

What's really kicking ass is, our job, what we do in life, is actually supposed to be exactly like that! We're supposed to find the one, the job that's really our true love.

As in marriage life, me and so many other people, are getting married with the wrong jobs, just because we don't want to be jobless. We don't love our job. I don't love my job.

You know what I really love? Writing. Writing is that poor guy with no money that you wouldn't marry because he couldn't give you stability. But you know what? Fuck it! I love this guy. I'm gonna marry this guy and we're gonna get rich together!

About Self Improvement

Friday, February 2, 2018

Day 26: an Area in My Life that I'd Like to Improve

How do you describe 'an area in someone's life'?

Anyway, I have plenty of them.

I want to improve my artistic skills, especially in making awesome sketches. Lately I'm so in love with this artist, @drewgrahamarts. I've always been a huge fan of Disney animation style. I love to see how they create all those Disney characters. I love how comical yet real they seem: their facial expressions, their proportions, their movements. I'm a Disney worshipper, and always try to draw like the Disney illustrators. And this Drew Graham is really amazing at making portraits of famous figures/characters in a very beautiful Disney style. And lately he makes a lot of illustrations from my recently favourite movie 'The Greatest Showman'! Omg he's really awesome. He inspired me! He made me really wanna improve my skills!

And of course, I want to improve my skills in communicating in foreign languages! I want to be a polyglot like Benny Lewis, or Mark Manson, or even Ziad Fazah! I'm currently learning Japanese and Greek. But I know I haven't done it properly. I'm also still practicing with my Portugese, French, Dutch, and German. I can say I speak Italian and Spanish pretty fluently, but I don't really listen well. So, I can hold a writing conversation in Italian or Spanish, but not oral conversation. In doing oral conversation, people have to speak slowly so I can understand what they say. It's better with Italian though. I can hold an oral daily conversation in Italian. Yep! Really need a lot of improvement in this area.

What else? Of course writing! Writing is the one thing I always enjoy doing. I've always wanted to be a writer. I love telling stories. I love dramas as long as I'm not involved in them. Lol!

But the most important thing, I really need to improve my financial condition! I really need to travel abroad as much as I want to. There are so many places in the world I need to see.

I still have a lot to say about areas I want to improve. But I also need time to do so, and I've been spending almost an hour writing this. So, see you in the next post!

Wrath and the Other Sins

Thursday, February 1, 2018

Day 25: Think of any word, search for that word in Google image, write something about the 11th image

I woke up around 6 I think.

I didn't really check on the time. But I needed some time to think about the dream I had.

So, I had this dream where I played some kinda video game. It was in the languages I learned: German, Japanese, etc. The rule of the game was to select a group of words. There are some words, and there is this category, then we had to point out which words belong to that category.

After two or three games that I didn't really understand and now I can't even remember the words, suddenly there was this category of 7 deadly sins.

You know what? I've never really known or cared about the 7 sins or anything biblical. I am not even a Christian. And even if I had to mention some of the 7 sins, I would have said 'envy', 'sloth', 'greed', or 'gluttony'. Those were all I know.

But the one word really stuck on me from that dream was 'wrath'. In fact, the other words didn't appear at all. It was just 'wrath'.

So, the word for this challenge would be...

WRATH!

I've searched the 11th image on google, but it wasn't interesting at all. It was just the word 'wrath' written in very tacky letters and colors.

Anyway, after that dream, I woke up. It was still pretty dark, but I could hear my sister leaving for work, so it must be sometime before six.

I opened my eyes, but I still layed down on my bed, thinking of this word 'wrath'.

I realized how 'wrath' has always been in my life everyday. Even though I've always tried so hard not to show it, I feel so much anger all the time. Every little thing irritates me. Every little thing can trigger my wrath. And I think that's why I'm not happy.

Then I was also thinking of all the other sins I've made. I was thinking of all the sins that don't seem to matter, but they indeed matter!

The seven sins, and then the 'little' sins in my own religion like when you do something good and then you expect people to notice and appreciate it. It's called 'riya' and it is a sin.

When you talk shit about people, when you gossip, when you spread a lie, it's a sin in my religion. I think it's called 'ghibah' or 'julid', I'm not really sure. And when you have bad prejudice, or you judge other people, it's also a sin.

And I've done all of those sins. All this time I felt like I was still better than most people because I never kill, rape, and steal, but I'm not. I'm a sinner.

No, these sins don't directly do bad things to people, but actually, these sins are very dangerous. Because they don't seem to be dangerous, don't seem to be 'that bad', but they are the roots of all the worst things people have done.

When the so called religious people think they're religious, just because they've done all the rituals to praise God, but they forget to avoid all those 'tiny' sins, that's where the religious groups become bad.

Those 'tiny' sins are invisible. That's why they are dangerous. Those 'tiny' sins wouldn't be blamed for all the chaos in the world, all the terrors and wars. Religions are always blamed for that. I always blamed religions for all the wars and terrors.

But all religions I know actually teach about good things. Me, most people, and people in power don't take those good things, only the rituals, so you know, we can easily make terrors and wars in the name of... Religion! Damn, now I feel the wrath again.

I gotta stop now. I don't need to think so much about things I can't change. The only thing I can do right now is controling myself from wrath and other sins.

Lesson Learned

Wednesday, January 31, 2018

Day 24: a Lesson I learned the Hard Way

So I've trusted the wrong person once. Not gonna happen anymore.

This bitch used to be my friend. I was pretty close to her, or at least that's what I thought. She was in the same office with me, and she was pretty active in my community.

She had a travel agent, and I was planning a trip to Greece for the first time. I was and still am too lazy to book a flight by myself. Yes. I know. Stupid.

So, I had a friend that I had known for a while, or so I thought. And this friend could take care of everything I need to go to Greece: the tickets, the hotels, the visa.

I wanted to go by myself. But suddenly the whole family (minus my brother) wanted to come with me. So I trusted this bitch to take care of me and my sister's tickets, the hotel rooms, and almost the visa.

But she turned out to be a thief! She stole our money and ran away. She had also stolen a lot of other people's money. She got caught, but the money had already gone. I still went to Greece with my mom, dad, and sister, but with my dad's money.

It is still the worst thing ever happened to me. To the ones complaining about being 'backstabbed' by a friend, just because that friend talked shit about you or 'stole your lover', my friend stole a lot of money from me! That's what you can call the real betrayal!

Lesson learned. In the hardest way. I lost a lot of money because of my stupidity.

So, from that experience, I would never trust any friend with my money ever again. I would always take care of my trip by myself. I would never brought a thief to a police station ever again! It doesn't give me back my money. I should have robbed her back!

I trully would feel better if she was raped in prison.

Dear You

Tuesday, January 30, 2018

Day 23: Write a Letter to Someone, Anyone

Dear whoever created this 30 days challenge,

I don't know what I want to write and to whom I'm supposed to write it.

I have so much to tell but I've told everything to everyone since I'm pretty chatty lately.

So here, my letter to you instead.

Shuffling My Music

Monday, January 29, 2018

Day 22: Put your music on shuffle and post the first 10 Songs

Okay I only have 231 songs in my phone, let's see what are gonna be played. I kinda wish GoT opening song would be one! So excited now! Lol!

1. 'The Fools Who Dream' (Mia's audition) - Emma Stone, from the movie 'La La Land'
I downloaded this right after watching the movie. Oh I really love this song! Love the movie too! And love Emma Stone so much! Always love her! She's so talented, beautiful, and her voice is amazing!

2. 'Black Mountain Side' - Led Zeppelin
Hey I rarely listen to this one. I've had it on my computer, but I've never listened to this on my phone since I downloaded it here.

3. 'Carry on my wayward son' - Kansas, OST 'Supernatural'
Me and my lil bro used to watch the TV series 'Supernatural'. We're like Dean and Sam. This is the opening song of most of the episodes.

4. 'Black Dog' - Led Zeppelin
Okay, 90 of 200 songs on my phone are LZ's, so we might have 2 - 3 of them played on this shuffling game.
This one is one of my favourite! I love to sing it out loud and also tried so hard to play the drum part (only the very simple version of it), and, when I go to karaoke, singing this song is a must!

5. 'Bring it on Home' - Led Zeppelin
Okay, another LZ. I love this one, especially the intro.

6. 'Boogie with Stu' - Led Zeppelin
LZ again? I swear, I have another musicians too here on my phone! Hey, btw, I haven't heard of this song for a very long time. In fact, as a self-proclaimed LZ huge fan, I gotta admit, I needed to check on my music player to see the title.

7. 'Bonzo's montreux' - Led Zeppelin
Okay, this shuffle gotta be kidding me! But anyway, I really love this one.

8. 'Almost is never enough' - Ariana Grande
Hey! I have this on my phone? Omg! I love this! I actually like Ariana Grande when she's not singing annoying songs.

9. 'Remember Me' - Benjamin Bratt, OST 'Coco'
Aww! I love this song! Actually I prefer Hector's (Gael Garcia Bernal) version. It's far more beautiful. But this Ernesto De La Cruz version is really kicking ass!

Okay... let's wait for the last song... What would it be?

10. 'Carouselambra' - Led Zeppelin
What?? Another LZ? Okay, so, 6 of 10 songs played are LZ. I think this music player just loves LZ too much!

What I Would Teach to My Children

Sunday, January 28, 2018

Day 21: What 3 Lessons Do You Want Your Children Learn from You?


First: "Never hate your enemies. It affects your judgement."

Second: "A man who doesn't spend time with his family can never be a real man."

Third: "Never tell anyone outside the family what you are thinking again."

Okay that's not really original. Just in case you didn't notice, that's what Don Vito Corleone taught his children.

What should I say? I don't even wanna have any children, not biological children at least. You know what they say about dogs? "Adopt, don't buy."

I 100% agree with that. So here's what I say about kids: "Adopt, don't breed."

I mean, there are already too many babies in the world, and a lot of them are orphans. Why cook more food when we already have so much in the fridge?

So, since my children would be adopted, the first lesson would be, "You're adopted. There's nothing wrong with that. Don't be such a drama queen about that."

Then there are these 3 most important lessons.

If I taught these lessons, I wouldn't walk the talk, because right now I'm really struggling to walk these words. But anyway, I'd love to share these ideas of ideal life.

1. Love the earth, the animals, and the environment

Love the earth, respect its beautiful nature, because so far, earth is the only planet we can live in. We've got no choice but keeping it alive!

Minimize the use of electricity, air conditioner, water, and gas. Recycle the non-organic wastes. Make use of the organic wastes. Use eco-friendly products and make sure they are really eco-friendly. Use solar panel or any other alternative energy that is more eco-friendly. Plant trees as much as possible.

Protect the animals. You don't have to be a vegan. I mean, all those tree lovers still eat vegies, don't they? I'm still gonna be proud if you became a vegan, as long as you didn't force other people to be vegan.

But there's a lot you can do without being vegan. Don't torture animals. If you have to kill it for food or self-defense, do it quick and don't let them be in pain. Do whatever you can to stop animal cruelty. Save the strayed or injured animals. Respect them. Before we were here, they were here first. We're the strongest and smartest animals so far, so it's our duty to protect the weak ones.

2. Keep an open mind

There's no absolute truth unless it's scientifically proven. We don't know anything about the unproven things. And even 'proves' are not always really proven. Keep learning about everything. Explore this world. Discover new ideas and theories. You can create yours too.

Keep learning. The moment you start thinking that you are smart, you start thinking that you can  stop learning, and that's when you're getting dumb.

Live the way you believe, but let others do theirs, even if it was so different from yours. Respect any opinion, no matter how idiotic it sounds.

3. Be healthy

Be healthy, mentally and physically. Health is everything. Yes you can still die from accidents, but so can the unhealthy ones.

If you're healthy, you'll have more time and energy to do whatever you need to do, whatever you want to do.

Eat enough vegetable, fruit, proteins, vitamin, do physical exercise everyday, don't smoke, don't use any drugs, even for medication if possible, stay natural, wash your hands, brush your teeth, stay hygiene, and do everything to keep you healthy.

You can still be sick, but at least you minimize the chance.

Oh, and have enough health, critical illness, accidents, and life insurance! Because the risk will still be there, and trust me, you don't wanna be poor when it comes.

Be ready for everything!

Okay, there are the three important lessons I'd teach my children or any children.

Speaking of My First Love...

Saturday, January 27, 2018

Day 19: Discuss Your First Love

Damn! I just realized I missed day 19. Yesterday was supposed to be the 19th day, not 20th!

Anyway, here's the 19th day.

Today's challenge is to discuss my first love. Well, define 'love'. Because if celebrity crushes count, my first love ever would be... Freddie Mercury!

Oh Freddie Mercury! How can I forget? The moment that he stepped into the room he took my breath away!

No, of course that didn't happen like that. I'm hoping anyone knows the reference though.

So, Freddie Mercury, I think he's the very first celebrity I've been a fan of. So, one day in 1992, I was six, I had a fever, I was really ill, and my dad played me the laser disc of his concert. It was his duet with Montserrat Caballé, singing the theme songs for 1992 Summer Olympic.

He was so charming, entertaining, beautiful, and his voice was, still is, and will always be the most beautiful voice I've ever heard. Forgive me for exaggerating, he's my first love, okay?

There are two songs that I really like until now, 'How Can I Go On' and, the best song in the world, 'Barcelona'. Okay, for the last 7-8 years I've been saying that 'The Fool on the Hill' was the best song ever, but now that I started to listen to 'Barcelona' again, no, 'Barcelona' is the best song I've ever heard.

Okay, so, I fell in love with Freddie Mercury. Then my dad told me that this guy had just passed away a year before. So my first love was a dead guy.

AIDS was the first dangerous disease I've ever known about, because I asked my dad why Freddie died, and he told me that the guy died of AIDS.

But I was still in love with him. I started to love Queen's songs. So, Queen was the first music group I've ever been a fan of. And until now, I still think Freddie Mercury was the best performer I know.

I think, I'm unconsciously influenced a lot by Freddie Mercury. I always imagine that I was him. He's my spirit animal.

I wrote in previous posts that, if I decided to adopt a child one day, I'd name him Farrokh Bulsara, Freddie's real name. I even named my former dog Farrokh Bulsara.

Okay, maybe he's more of an idol for me rather than first love.

So does it mean I failed today's challenge?

Some other times I'll try again to write about first love. Right now I can't think of anyone but the celebs.

Celebrity Crushes

Friday, January 26, 2018

Day 20: Three Celebrity Crushes

Only three?? Come on! I need more!

Okay, recently I'm kinda obsessed with these celebrities:

1. Hugh Jackman
I wasn't a big fan of Wolverine. Isn't it his biggest role? But when I watched 'Les Miserables', I was so in love! I love that movie, the actors are so talented! Hugh is so talented! His act was great, his voice... omg I really love his voice! And then I didn't really think of him at all, I didn't even follow him in any social media. But after 'The Greatest Showman', I just can't stop watching his videos and stalking his Instagram! He jumped into the top of my hottest guys list, beating the one who's now number 2....

2. Jason Momoa
Oh yeaaahh! He's the sexiest man on earth, at least before I've seen TGS. Actually, Khal Drogo is the hottest guy! I fell in love with Jason Momoa as Khal Drogo. But overall, this guy simply has whatever it takes to be sexy. He's super big, he's tall and muscular, he's got the nicest ass I've ever seen, he's so manly and charming, full of energy, and seems to be a very nice guy.

3. Ronaldo (Brazilian)? Ben Affleck? Milo Ventimiglia?
I can't really choose. But I think I'll go with Milo, because I've talked about Ronaldo and Ben Affleck a lot. I'm a huge fan of 'This is Us'. I've liked Milo since 'Gilmore Girls'. He's always been on my top 50 list. But 'This is Us' launched him to number 3! His role as the hot dad Jack Pearson with dat ass. That sexy ass needs its own credit.

Okay, there, my three celebrity crushes!

30 Facts About Me

Thursday, January 25, 2018

Day 18: 30 Facts about Me

1. I'm a gemini and it's somewhat important. Lol.

2. I learn Italian, Spanish, Portuguese, French, Dutch, German, Greek, and Japanese. But right now I only speak Italian and a bit of Spanish and Portuguese. I can write in 7 of those 8 languages tho'.

3. I'm not a good listener, partly because my hearing is not good, but also because I'm a self-centred prick.

4. I'm so obsessed about Italy. I want to visit every province of it, and I can tell you all of their names. I can sing Italian National Anthem.

5. I can also sing the national anthems of England, US, Chile, Uruguay, Argentina, and Brazil. And of course I can sing my own national anthem. But who can't sing their own national anthem?

6. My favourite sport is football (soccer). D'oh! Yeah it's obvious. But the interesting fact is, I used to hate it. Not just didn't like it, but hate it. Because everyone around me loved it, and I was born a pretentious hipster, so I hate it. But when I watched Ronaldo in World Cup 1998... Wow! Football is damn beautiful. And it turned out to be fun, liking a popular thing like that.

7. My favourite football player is Ronaldo, the Brazilian one. He's the best! When I was 14, Ronaldo got injured very badly, and I used to pray for his healing every night.

8. I used to be afraid of dogs. The first dog I was brave to touch was Koski, my neighbor's dog. Since I have my own dog, I'm not afraid of dogs anymore. Should I have my own ghost then?

9. Even tho' I love physical activities, I hate physical exercise. It's boring as hell!

10. My favourite band ever is Led Zeppelin, but my favourite vocalist is and will always be Freddie Mercury.

11. I don't wanna have a biological child, but if I can adopt and name a baby or more, I'd name them Salvatore, Marius Pontmercy, Farrokh Bulsara, Karac Pendragon, Garuda Pancasila, or Margono for boys, and Astari Pahlevi jr, Indonesia Raya, or Savitri for girls. Margono and Savitri are the names of my paternal grandparents. Salvatore means saviour. You can just google to know the rest of the names. Phew! So many children names for the one doesn't want any.

12. I love mathematics, and can play with mathematics formulas for hours. No, don't expect me to be so great at math. I just love it.

13. I'm a Game of Thrones fan. My favourite character is Queen Margaery Tyrell (technically it's Baratheon tho'). But I'm a loyal supporter of Daenerys Targaryen.

14. I'm a big fan of Spice Girls. I love them! And I'm pretty sure I could answer any trivia quiz about them.

15. The first celebrity I've ever been a fan of was Freddie Mercury. One day, I was 7 and very ill, and my dad played me the video of his duet with Montserrat Caballé, singing that epic song 'Barcelona', and I fell in love with him and the song. He was very charismatic, entertaining, and original.

16. I love to read manga too, but only Sailor Moon, Candy-Candy, Doraemon, Detective Conan, Kungfu Boy, Miiko, and some football manga.

17. My favourite superhero is Batman because he's rich, multilingual, and master various martial art. I'm also a fan of Marvel's The Punisher because he does exactly what I want to do to the criminals.

18. My favourite authors are Mario Puzo, Pramoedya Ananta Toer, and George RR Martin, but...

19. My favourite book is 'Perfume' by Patrick Süskind.

20. Just like Freddie Mercury, I love opera. I especially love the ones from Giacomo Puccini.

21. I secretly want to be a stage actress. Now it's not a secret anymore.

22. I've decided not to get married since I was a kid. I've always known I wanted to be a successful business woman, that is also an author and an artist.

23. The person I love the most is my father. He's my everything. I'm daddy's girl. When my mom and dad fight, I always automatically take dad's side. It's stupid, I know. I feel very possessive and protective over him. His happiness is (almost) everything for me. But I still care more about myself and my own happiness.

24. I'm far from manly, but sometimes I feel like I am a man, a girly man.

25. I really, really hate this little house lizard, cicak. Yes only cicak. I don't hate other reptiles or other lizards. Lizards are cute.

26. I love black olive, raw salmon, fresh oyster, and cheese.

27. I like big butts and I cannot lie.

28. I love classic cars.

29. I can't drive.

30. I can't swim.

Gemini and Proud

Wednesday, January 24, 2018

Day 17: Post about your zodiac sign, and whether or not it fits you

Well, I love talking about zodiac sign!

I'm a gemini and proud, because my moon is in Leo, and Leo is everything about pride.

It's not like I believe in zodiac sign. There are so many examples of people who don't match their zodiac signs, even after the more detailed reading (Moon sign, Mercury sign, etc).

But I happen to be just like whatever those sources say about a Gemini.

Here are some Twitter quotes about Gemini:

"Gemini is willing to explore the unfamiliar."
Totally me. Unfamiliar things always attract me. I know, who aren't attracted to the unfamiliar things? Right? Most people are.

"In love, Gemini can be light-hearted, fickle, flirtatious, and somewhat unemotional."
Well, it depends on what kinda love it is and to who. But yeah I'm somewhat unemotional to the point I seem cold and insensitive.

"A Gemini's biggest fear: fear of not experiencing enough."
Yep! That's my personal concern.

"A Gemini can't stand people with nothing interesting to say."
Wait! Who the hell can stand people with nothing interesting to say? Come on! Be honest! It's not just me or any other Gemini. Luckily, people have different interests.

"Gemini tend to take their feelings apart and figure them out, rather than feeling feelings on their own terms."
Exactly! I mean, I sure do have feelings. In fact, I'm pretty emotional about almost everything. But I just can't help but analyse whatever I feel and why I feel that way. It's so amazing how these chemical reactions in our brains can produce such emotions. We are indeed very complex.

"For the most part, Gemini don't care to get too deeply into anything."
Yeah, it sucks sometimes. If I didn't care to get too deeply about some ideas, fields, activities, or hobbies, it wouldn't be a problem. I could be very excited to learn something in a day, and for the next few days I got so drowned into it, but after a week, I got bored and just wanna skip to another exciting new things.
It always happens. That's why I'm jacks of all trades.
But when it comes to people and their feelings, it can be really, really bad. One day I could be so obsessed about someone, always pick up the phone and always text back. I could easily spoil the "I love you" words because that was what I really felt at the moment. But after a while, I just couldn't go any deeper. When things get more complicated, I just wanted to go to the next interesting things.
Damn! Now I feel so shallow!

"Gemini enjoy contrasts and contradictions in life that provide different ways of looking at things."
Yes, I do. I couldn't say it any better.

"Gemini has a dual nature: part brainy intellect, part scatterbrained chatterbox."
Guilty as charged! Trust me, I can be brainy intellect too sometimes. But this scatterbrained chatterbox is easier to be seen.

Seriously, I don't wanna believe about astrology or any other superstition, because I honestly think thet don't make sense at all, but I always feel as if those sources refer to me when they talk about a Gemini. Isn't it crazy?

I Miss Traveling

Tuesday, January 23, 2018

Day 16: Something that you miss

When I peeked on today's challenge yesterday, I thought I'm gonna have to write about how I miss the sun so badly. It has been raining or heavily cloudy for weeks here. The sky was almost always dark. It gave me such a gloomy mood and I think that might be why I have been so negative lately.

But guess what! Today, after a long period of gloomy days, finally it's sunny!

This morning the sun shined so brightly! It was so beautiful! You know, you can't appreciate sun shine unless you've seen rain for weeks. So, I feel like appreciating the sun before I start today's challenge.

Now, what I miss?

Well, that's pretty easy. I miss traveling abroad. I miss it sooooo much!

And by abroad I mean Europe. I miss roaming around the alleys of European cities, hearing the locals talk to each other in their beautiful languages, checking on the local cathedrals or museums, or just sitting anywhere and observing around.

The last time I went to Europe was... Omg 3 years ago! I went to Greece with my parents and sister. Really wished my brother was there the whole time.

I really need to go now. I really need to get outta here!

Just Ordinary Monday, What Can I Say

Monday, January 22, 2018

Day 15: Bullet point your whole day

This is kinda boring.

- Woke up at six
- Morning routine: take out the garbage, walk the dog, exercise, etc
- Learned and practiced languages
- Replied texts
- Made some proposals
- Went for family dinner
- Went for a meeting with an old friend
- Went home

My Favourite Movies are..

Sunday, January 21, 2018

Day 14: Favourite Movies That You Never Get Tired of Watching

Sunday! What a perfect time to talk about movies!

My ideal weekend would be me in a comfy sofa, enjoying a big box of pizza, a bottle of coke, or a glass of rootbeer float, and a bowl of pop corn with too much butter, while watching these movies.

Here are my list of favourite movies I never get tired of watching (not in order, there's no order):

'Jurassic Park' (1993)
It has been my favourite movie since I was little. Aren't we all, children of the 90's obsessed about dinosaurs? I used to have mini dinosaurs, books about dinosaurs, and puzzle, and all.
I can watch this movie over and over again and will never get bored. I remember every scene: when they were moving a raptor and one of the staffs fell and grabbed by the raptor, Dr. Grant and his raptor's claw, the fat guy with that white foam, the first time they saw Brontosaurus, the sick Triceratops, the famous T-Rex scene, and so on, oh yes I remember every scene of it! I also hum its original soundtracks everytime I go to the zoo and the car gets into the predators area.

'Forrest Gump' (1994)
I actually can watch anything with Tom Hanks in it over and over again. I love all of his movies: 'Catch Me If You Can', 'Green Mile', 'Bridge of Spies', 'Philadelphia', you name it. 'Sleepless in Seattle'? Hmm... Okay, actually, I won't watch his rom-coms twice.
Anyway, Forrest Gump is my favourite movie of all! Every scene in that movie is just so touching yet entertaining. That movie is great and really worth to watch every time.

'Lion King' (1994)
When I was little, I was so obsessed to be a king, thanks to this movie. Yes, a king, not a queen. I wanted to be Mufasa. Sometimes I just forgot that I wasn't Mufasa. I really loved it, and I can sing every single song in it. The songs are great, you know.
Now I still love to watch this movie, I won't get tired watching it. It's like the 'Game of Thrones' for children.

'La Vita è Bella' (1997)
So far, this is still my most favourite movie. The fact that it is an Italian movie has something to do with it. But it's definitely not the only factor. This is the most beautiful story about one of the worst era in the history. The story is actually tragic, but somehow can be very sweet. The characters are adorable. The message is strong. The critics of humanity issues are very smartly delivered. It's very well made.

'Coco' and 'The Greatest Showman' (2017)
These are the most recent great movies I've watched. Some posts earlier I just told you about how much I loved these movies. I love the stories, the characters, the graphics, and most of all, the songs of these movies are the songs I'm recently so in love with!

'Godfather: part I' (1972) and 'Godfather: part II' (1974)
No, I don't wanna watch the third, it's too painful for me. But the first and second movies are very enjoyable to watch. I especially love the famous horse head scene, the last scenes of those movies. Also all the Sicily scenes OMG! The story of Michael and Apollonia, the story of young Vito Andolini and his sweet revenge. BEST! Oh and that song little Vito sang is just so beautiful, 'Ninna Nanna Malandrineddu', it's a Sicilian lullaby. I like to listen to this song when I'm trying to sleep. It's beautiful, even though the message is actually pretty scary.

'La La Land' (2016)
The casting is perfect! Oh I love Emma Stone so much! Especially when she's with Gosling. It's also visually stunning! The colors, the design, the coreography. The story is simple but beautiful. And of course...... the music! Oh my... All the songs are amazing! They give me eargasm all the time. But my favourite song is the one Mia (Emma Stone) sang on the audition. I love that song, and her voice is just perfect! And also, my favourite scene! When they met at the party and Mia requested that song.. No, you have to watch it. It's hilarious.

'Amadeus' (1984)
I love the story of the life of the greatest genius people in history. And 'Amadeus' really tells the story in a very entertaining way. I love how they picture Mozart's character, his relationship with Constanze, his relationship with his father, and of course, his rivalry with Salieri. It's very ironic, and irony like that happens all the time in real life.

'Frozen' (2013)
Say whatever you want. This is one of my favourite animations. I really love the animation, the songs (each one of them), the characters, the dresses, the stories, everything about it. Most of all, I love Elsa and Anna so much because, as a woman with a sister, I can relate with anything about sister's love. My relationship with my sister is not like Elsa and Anna. I would never say no to building a snowman or any activity with my sister. And unlike Elsa, I don't have to. That's why I can feel the pain of not being able to play or spend time with your sister. I always skip the 'do you wanna build a snowman' scene to avoid breaking into tears. Yes trust me I'm serious.

There are still so many movies I never get tired of watching. Especially Disney movies. But my time is up. I gotta post this.

To Cheat or not to Cheat

Saturday, January 20, 2018

Are you a cheater?

You’re probably not, or just don’t realize that you are.

When someone is in an exclusive/monogamous relationship or a marriage, and he/she had sex, kissed, dated, or even just had a feeling for someone else, it is cheating. The person is called a cheater. Pretty simple. So, are you?

Look, I don’t hate cheaters. I don’t judge them. We can’t judge them.

We have to know the ‘why’. Why are they cheating? There would be so many reasons.

Maybe they’re bored with their partners, because their partners are boring, or because they just got bored easily.

Maybe, they love their partners, they’ve loved their partners, but they don’t think their partners appreciated them enough. Yeah, the word ‘love’ is very debatable here. But, you know what I mean.

Maybe they do love their partners, but they also love someone else. We can love, or be emotionally or sexually interested to multiple people. It’s possible, just not allowed. We are not naturally monogamous. Monogamous relationship is just a concept we created centuries ago, because we’re selfish, and, even tho we ourselves can’t be monogamous, our ego can’t stand sharing our loved ones with others. Very selfish? Yep, that’s who we are.

Maybe, they don’t even love their partners in the first place. Maybe it was an arranged marriage. Maybe they were young and impulsive, and they just got married, but it was a mistake. Maybe, for one or another reason, they must get married (in Indonesia, most people still think that if you knocked a woman up, you should marry her, for the sake of reputation thing). So, these two people don’t love each other, or don’t anymore, but they have to be together, because they’ve promised to.

So they cheat.

No reason makes cheating acceptable or unacceptable.

Here’s the thing. Are we a cheater?

Why do we stay doing the thing we don’t love? Our heart is loving something else. It wants something else so bad, yet we can’t just let the unloved one go.

Some people have to do what they don’t want to do, what they don’t love, just because they have to. They need the money, they need the financial stability, they need to survive, they’re afraid, if they leave this job they don’t love, and the other job they love don’t make money for them, they can’t get the old job back.

Are you a cheater?

The way I see it, it’s not wrong. It’s just unhealthy. Cheating is unhealthy.

We want more than one thing/person/job and we just can’t be honest about it. We have to lie. We have to hide something. Sometimes, we have to hide so many things. We have to fake it.

Or, you know, we can have it all, but it might as well to difficult to handle at the same time, and we might end up with nothing instead.

I can totally understand cheaters. I mean, come on! We don’t put our eggs in one basket. We need plan B, plan C, plan D.

I understand why we lie, because I’m lying too.

To cheat or not to cheat is not as easy as you think.

I am so Excited!

Saturday, January 20, 2018

Day 13: What are you excited about?

Conversations. Interesting ones at least.

Conversations about things I didn't know before. Conversations that give me information. The importance of the information is relative. What is important to me may not be important for others.

You know what I'm not excited about? Writing this. I'm getting bored with this challenge.

But wait, speaking of excitement, me and my sister went to our brother's house last night. My brother and his wife picked me up at home, then we went to pick my sister up at the station. She just got back from work. We ate at KFC, bought some snacks and milk at Total, spent time with our parents for a while, and then we went to brother's house.

What was so exciting?

Well, me, my siblings, and my brother's wife, were planning our trip to... I can't share the detail. But hint: it's the best place on earth for me.

So I was very excited. We were all very excited about the trip. I'm still very excited now.

And that's what I am soooo... excited about.

I just realized that I've been so blessed

Friday, January 19, 2018

Day 12: Five Blessings in My Life

1. My unconventional way of thinking
Or maybe, unconsciously, I'm basically just a pretentious hipster.
But I'm happy that I'm not like most people. I'm not better than most people. My way of thinking can limit me from  some certain things. And sometimes I just can't get most people's logic and it's kinda annoying. So, no, it's not about which one is better. But you have to feel blessed for the way you think. It affects the way you live your life, the choices you make, the people you're surrounding yourself with, and so on.
You should feel blessed for the way you think, or else, you'd change your way of think, right?

2. The chance to do what I've done and to visit the places I've visited
I don't travel as much as I really want to, and have been very complaining about that. I haven't done many things on my or anyone's things-to-do-before-die list. But I feel blessed and grateful to ever had the chance to be in some places and to do some things.
Italy, Greece, and Brazil are the three countries I've always wanted to visit, in that order. I've been to two of those three countries. Maybe it's nothing for most people. But I feel so grateful about that. I still want to visit them again and again, and sometimes I got sad because I miss them, but come on! I've been there!
I've always wanted to talk to a non-english-speaking foreigner in their language, and I've done it, multiple times!
I've always wanted to learn foreign languages. Now there are many free applications and programs that I can use to learn any language I want.
I've seen some cool animals, I've been bitten by a tegu. It was a pretty cool experience.
I've always wanted a football or futsal team, now I have one. I've always wanted to try wall climbing, because I've always loved to climb anything, and I've tried. I haven't published any books, but I've known how it feels to write something that people love, because I've written some, and people have read some.

3. My physical condition
I'm not the healthiest person, but hey, I still have two functional hands, two functional legs, two functional eyes, two functional ears. I can walk, I can breathe, I can see the beauties around me, I can hear the music, I still have my memory.

4. This country and neighborhood I live in
To be honest, I hate so many things about this country, especially most of its people and their hypocritical values. I also hate about the city where my office is. But overall, I still feel lucky that this country is not at war. We live in peace, even though we're at some kinda stupid war in the social media. And I love the neighborhood I live in. I have the most wonderful neighbors. They're really nice. They're the kindest people. Even the kids are very nice.

5. My family, friends, and social life
It might sound so cliche, but my family is the greatest blessing I've had in my life. They might not perfect, but they're the best for me!
My dad is a family man whose always choose his family over everything. He really enjoys hanging out with his children and siblings.
Honestly, my mom is a kind of person that I cannot stand, but as a mother, she's amazing! She'd do anything for her children. She's like Cersei. Maybe that's why I hate Cersei so much. I'm not always in a good relationship with my mother, but I don't hate my mother. We know we love each other. I think she's great. She can always support her children in any possible way. She'd do literally anything for us.
My sister and brother are the best siblings in the world. I don't know how they could love a sister like me, but they do love me. Spending time with them is the best feeling in the world, even better than being alone. I still need to be alone sometimes tho'.
My brother's wife and my sister's fiancé are the best people to add into our family. They're like my own brother and sister. My brother and sister are really smart when it comes to choosing a lifetime partner. So proud of them.
I have many cousins too, and aunts, uncles, nieces, and nephews, and when I'm around them I feel so blessed.
I have a lot of friends too. I've always been a loner. I didn't have any friends until I was 14. I'm still a loner until now. But somehow I still have good friends. I mean, they're very good too me even though I'm not really a good friend to them. I'm surrounded by love and trust. Some would say, you could only have a few best friends, but I have a lot of people that I would call best friends, because they're always there when I need them.
Trust me, I'm doing my best to do the same in return. One of the biggest reasons why I should have financial freedom is to have enough time, energy, and money to spend with them, to make them happy, and to help them when they're in need.

So, those are the five blessings in my life. I'm so blessed.

I really wonder, what have I done to deserve all of these blessings?

I've been complaining like a spoilt brat. Yes, I don't have everything I want. But I have almost everything I need. I just need to remind myself over and over again that, even though I'm still far from rich, my life is actually really good.

Thank God.

What If

Thursday, January 18, 2018

Day 11: Something I always think "what if..." about

This one is easy.

I always think what if I had a financial freedom? What if money was never a problem? What if I didn't have to work anymore?

Yeah that's the most beautiful 'what if' scenario.

I could visit any place I wanted, not just alone, but with my family and friends! I mean, I wouldn't make it like a tour. I could travel all the time. One month I traveled alone, the other month I traveled with my family, the next month I traveled with one group of friends, the next month I traveled with other group of friends, and so on.

I would be able to visit my relatives all around the world. The ones in Switzerland, the ones in The Netherlands, the ones in Belgium, the ones in Australia, and of course I could easily visit my family in Jogja, Semarang, and Bali anytime I wanted. Damn I miss them all.

I would be able to go to any school and learn anything I wanted. I would learn philosophy in a year, then learn astronomy the next year. I would learn about any kinda history I wanted. I might as well figure out the missing link!

I would definitely learn any language I wanted. I'd learn at least two languages a year, and not with aps, not with courses, but with the native speakers in their own countries. I'd learn languages while traveling.

I would be a linguist! I would learn about the history of languages. I would figure out historical facts from the evolution of languages!

I would make a forest! I would plant as many trees as the rest of the world cut every year. I would have the most unique, playful, eco-friendly house. I'd have my own recycling machine. I'd only use the most eco-friendly products, I'd even make ones if I had to. I'd use solar panel and any other eco-friendly technology for my house.

I would make the best animal shelter in the world. I would save any animals I found! Yeah there would be so much double standards there, because I would still hate some animals like cockroaches and cicak (Cosymbotus platyurus), the most disgusting creature in the world. I don't even hate reptile. I only hate cicak!

Anyway, yeah it sounds hypocritical that I wanted to only save selected animals. But I'd do whatever I wanted. That's the point.

I would write, I would paint, I would design, I would create things. I would learn to play any music instrument I wanted. Drum would definitely be the first. I would have a jam session with my brother, cousins, friends.

I would collect classic cars and motorcycles. I already have my list. I would collect bicycles and skateboards too.

I would play futsal, football (soccer), American football, basketball, hockey, ice hockey, baseball, maybe even cricket! I would play any game I wanted anytime I wanted!

I would have my own boxing ring, wall climbing tracks, and theme park.

I would learn any martial arts I wanted. I think, if I had financial freedom, I'd turn myself into Batman. Not like Batwoman or Batgirl. But female and cheerful version of Bruce Wayne, because he's rich, smart, multilingual, and master multiple martial arts. Yeah that's why he's my favourite superhero ever.

I might be a superhero, like Batman, but with values like Marvel's the Punisher. Rich version of the Punisher, but more brutal.

Oh seriously this article is not gonna end. But I have to end it because these are all just a 'what if'. Now I need to do some things to make them real. Adios amigos!

Something I Feel Strongly About

Wednesday, January 17, 2018

Day 10: Write about something for which you feel strongly

Okay, to be honest, I'm not really sure what this question means. English is not my first language.

I just googled it and found out that it means 'to have a strong or definite opinion about something.

So, I have too many strong opinions about everything. I'm not the most open-minded person even though I try so hard to.

It's so hard for me to even choose what to talk about. I have too many things in my head.

This one is kinda sensitive but... Okay, I really think religions (maybe not all) make people lose their common sense.

Don't kill people, don't hurt people, don't harm people, don't rape, don't steal, do help people, give what you can give, control your emotions, and so on. They should be a common sense.

You don't wanna harm people because it's not nice to be harmed. Don't do to others what you don't want others do to you. That's as simple as that.
When people are in need, and we're able to help, we help. Because why not?

But in some religions I know, with the concept of heaven and hell, punishment and rewards, people seem to lose their common sense and their humanity.

Oh in this very holy month, if we give charity, we will have more rewards in heaven. If we help this kinda people, we'll have bigger rewards. If we kill, rape, rob people, steal from people, lie to people, we'll be punished in hell. If we believe in certain religion, we're more likely to go to heaven. If we don't believe in certain religion, we won't be able to go to heaven, no matter how good we are. If we kill certain people, we'll be rewarded with virgins.

No, I'm not talking about your religion. Why so sensitive?

I mean, religious people can do or not do anything just because of the rewards and punishments.

You know, here in Indonesia, people are so concerned and judgemental about things like LGBT, adultery, and alcoholism. I'm not talking whether it is right or wrong. But, seriously? Do you wanna know why they are so concerned about those things? No, not because they're bad things, or because they're worried about those people. No! They're very concerned about those things, because they're so afraid of being punished by God, if they let those things happen.

So, instead of making people better, I think religions make people think much more about themselves than about anyone else. Well, I actually believe that technically, everyone is doing everything for themselves.

But here's the way I see it. Let's say, there were these three little children, and there's this box of chocolates.
Their mother told the older brothers to make sure that their little brother didn't eat too much chocolates, because it's not good for his teeth or health, or because it can make him hyperactive.

When the mother left, both the older brothers tried so hard to keep the chocolate away from their little brother. One of the older brothers did it because he didn't want his little brother to be sick, or to be hyperactive, because their mother would be worried or stressed. He really worried about his little brother and his mother, because he cares.

The other brother only did it because he didn't wanna get in trouble. He didn't want his little brother to eat the chocolates because he didn't want his mother to punish him.

Why did the mother put that box of chocolates there in the first place, right? Well, there's another controversial question. The Mom just knows better. We don't question him... I mean her.

Anyway, both older brothers did try to stop their little brother to eat the chocolates for themselves. The first brother didn't want to see his little brother sick, because he loves him, and he would be sad if his brother got sick, so basically he just didn't want himself to be sad. Yes, I'm aware of this.

But at least he really cares about his little brother, you know what I mean?

Here's the difference it can make:
If some bad guy came and said, "Hey, you know what, your mom just told me that your little brother can have all the chocolates he wants. He may get sick, but your mom wouldn't punish you for that."

Why would the mom let the bad guy in and talk on behalf of her in the first place? Another controversial question you shouldn't ask.

Anyway, the brother who really cares would still stop the little brother from eating all the chocolates. But the one who was just afraid of being punished would just let the little brother eat the chocolates, because who cares if the little brother got sick? He's not being punished. It's all that matters.

These people, these religious people, they don't even think about how what they do can affect others. The hell with others. The hell with common sense. I'm going to heaven. It's all that matters. So yes, they can judge people all they want, they can do whatever they want to people, because they really need to save themselves from the punishment!

That's why, here in Indonesia, people can drag a couple out of the hotel room and punish them all they want, but no one is dragging corruptors from their fancy houses, because when people steal, God wouldn't punish people around them, unlike adultery.

I'm not saying all the religious people are heartless morons and all the atheist are saints. There are also some religious people that still have common sense and not reward-oriented. But seriously, all these rewards and punishments things seem to weaken humanity.

I'm religious myself. I'm rewards and punishments oriented (or more just punishments oriented actually), even though I don't wanna be like that. I'm actually talking about myself too. So please, no offense. I'm also offended by my opinion, so we're on the same side here.

Anyway, I really admire people who don't really care about all those shits, and just do good in their lives, just because. I know plenty of people like that. Most of them are atheist. But some of them are religious too.

Now I'm gonna quote something I twitted years ago:

"I know some people who forgive themselves for bad things they've done or they're still doing, just because they believe that God will forgive them anyway. I also know some people who don't believe in God but they happen to be the nicest, purest people around me. I do believe in God. I just don't believe that believing in God has any correlations at all with being a good person. When you're good, you're good. When you're bad, you're bad."

Speaking Words of Wisdom, Let it Be

Tuesday, January 16, 2018

30 Days Writing Challenge Day 9:
Post Some Words of Wisdom that Speak to You

I have some. They're anonymous but really speak to me.

"Today is the beginning of everything you want."

"In a society that profits from your self doubt, liking yourself is a rebellious act."

"Money isn't everything, but everything needs money."

"Loneliness is dangerous. It's addicting. Once you see how peaceful it is, you don't want to deal with people."

Make money, self improvement, me time, loved ones

Monday, January 15, 2018

30 Days Writing Challenge, Day 8: Share something you struggle with

Whoa! That's heavy!

Okay, I'm struggling with a lot of things. We are all struggling with a lot of things.

I wanna share my daily struggle of managing my time to spend. I struggle to set my priorities.

Every single day I need to make money, I need to reach my own goals, I need me time, and I also really need to spend time with my family.

Of course making money should be the first priority, since I'm not Bill Gates or his family member. Then I wanna reach my other goals, such as learning languages, writing books, or practicing my drawing skills. But I also need me time, or I'll lose my mind. I need some relaxing time to play games, read books, or just exploring social media.

I also want to spend time with family. I want to have all the time to spend with my sister and her fiancé, my brother and his wife, my mom, and especially my dad. I want to listen carefully to whatever he's got to say, I want to talk about football, about his beautiful childhood, about my childhood, about his dreams, even about politics.

I want to spend time with my cousins, my aunts, my uncles, and especially my nieces and nephews. I want to see them grow. I want to play with them in the theme parks or football fields. I want to talk with my cousins, uncles, and aunts about everything happens in our lives.

So the struggle is real.

If I don't make money, I'll have no money. If I had no money, I wouldn't be able to buy food, clothes, new books, birthday presents for my loved ones, I wouldn't be able to pay for the transportation I need to go anywhere.

If I didn't reach my personal goals, I wouldn't be happy, even if I was surrounded by the loved ones, something would be missing. I can't really explain my urge to reach all those goals, but they are very, very important to me.

I want to write books, because I have so many ideas in my head, and I really need to share them. I need to learn as many languages as possible, because everytime I met a non-english-speaking foreigner, or travel to non-english-speaking countries, I really have to speak their languages. When we were in Greece, my dad left his hat in the bus station, and the taxi driver who took us from the station to our hotel didn't speak English. I just needed to deliver a simple message: "My dad left his hat in the bus. Can we go back to the bus station?" But back then I didn't speak Greek!

And me time, if I don't have any time to myself, I'll go crazy! I need a break. Everyone needs a break.

And I'm a very introverted person. I'm so happy to be surrounded with my family, but I got tired too. At some point, I just wanna be quiet and let them all do the talk. People make me tired, even the loved ones.

And people! People are so hard to maintain.

I love too many people in my life. I love my family, I love my best friends, and I have plenty of them! I don't wanna lose my moment with any of them. I don't wanna miss any important moment in their life. But I have very limited time, money, and energy!

But you know what? I know some people out there who can juggle all of those needs pretty well. They even have wife, husband, and even children!

I really think the key is to eliminate the 'making money' part. Of all those things, making money is the only thing I don't enjoy at all, but at the same time the one I really have to do.

So, what I really need to do is building passive income as soon and as much as possible. I really need to find the fastest and most effective way to make money without having to work ever again.

When I have unlimited money, I'll have unlimited time and energy. So I'd have everything. I'd be able to learn any language I want, travel wherever I want, do whatever I want, spend all the time with my dad, my brother and sister and their wife and fiancé, and even my mom, and my aunts, uncles, cousins, nephews and nieces, friends, and I'd still have a lot of me time!