Yoga Teacher Training at Loka Yoga: Best Experience of My Life So Far (part 1)

The Background Story:

It’s been more than two weeks since I graduated from the yoga school, and to be honest, I still have a hard time moving on. I met my cousin and her family the day after, I got busy visiting beautiful places, I joined a comedy club and did my first stand-up comedy performance, I met some new friends and they were amazing…, and I still think of my yoga teacher training days all the time.

I went to this yoga school in Canggu, Bali, Loka Yoga School from July 4 to 30, and it was the best 4 weeks of my life! It was such an amazing experience! I’ve never been so happy, I’ve never had so much joy. Oh…, I have so much to tell! Let me try to break it down one by one and hopefully give a systematic story of my beautiful experience.

First of all, let’s talk about the background. I hate yoga. I mean, I used to hate it. I tried doing yoga in the past. I watched some videos, followed some yoga classes, read yoga books, and damn they were so boring. However, I was always amazed by the yogis because they’re so healthy, peaceful, and have amazing bodies.

Seriously, their bodies are amazing: fit, slim, toned, powerful, and super elastic. They can do super cool and difficult poses gracefully and effortlessly. That was why I kept trying to do and learn yoga. I wanted to be healthy and have an amazing body. I wanted to look like that and be able to do those super cool poses!

However, since I hated to do the yoga practice itself (and any non-sports-game physical activities in general), I never really did it seriously. I went on and off with yoga. Earlier this year, in January, a yoga school advertisement popped up on my social media. I was interested, because it wasn’t just a yoga school to be a yogi or yoga practitioner, but to be a certified yoga teacher!

Hey! I could get a yoga teacher certificate? I would be able to teach! I would make money from doing yoga! And the school is in Bali! Now…, I’ve been wanting to move to Bali and live here since forever. Last year, I decided to finally do it. I still didn’t know what to do, but I decided to move. My New Year's resolution was to move to Bali, and suddenly I had the idea of what I could do!

I saw some advertisements of these yoga schools, but I didn’t sign up for any of them. I wanted to get to the cheapest one, so I started searching for a list of yoga schools in Bali. I found this site with a complete list of yoga schools in Bali, and I found Loka Yoga and other schools. Loka Yoga was the cheapest one, located near the beach, and in Canggu, where the comedy club is. It was perfect!

I was so excited that I signed up right away. I signed up for the first batch of the year, which was in March, because I just couldn’t wait to leave Jakarta…, or Tangerang, it depends. I contacted the school, registered, and paid right away. I remember the joy and excitement I felt after transferring the money. I started planning my Bali life. I will be living in Bali by March! Oh! So excited!

The next day, I finally remembered that I have a job, and I would need to tell my office and ask for a leave. In my defense, I didn’t work much back then, business was slow, and my office didn’t have enough work for me to do. So, yeah, I forgot I had a job. In fact, when I called my boss, I wasn’t about to ask for permission to leave, I just meant to inform him that I would leave.

He freaked out. He told me I couldn’t do that. He told me I should’ve asked him for permission to leave, I had to write the e-mail, and it would take time. For a start, he had a lot of projects for me. He told me I would be super busy until the end of June. I had to postpone my Bali plan. Thing is, I wasn’t sure I could cancel my yoga school. Would I be able to reschedule to July?

I contacted the yoga school. By then I already knew who I was talking to. It was Taryn Weggelaar, the founder and the main teacher. She was very nice and responsive to my messages. Before I texted her, I was worried that I couldn’t reschedule, and I might lose that amount of money I’ve paid for the school. However, she told me I could reschedule to July, and I was so relieved.

Yes, I was relieved that I could reschedule, and I didn’t have to lose my money for nothing. However, I was still upset because I couldn’t move to Bali as early as I planned. I had to stay in Tangerang for a longer time and it sucked. I didn’t live in the present. I lived in the future. My mind was already in Bali. Every day I could only think about living in Bali.

The closer I got to July, the more I got anxious about the school. I started doubting my destiny. Attending a yoga school in Bali seemed too good to be true. I was so sure something bad would happen, just like every single time I was ready for something good in my life. There have been so many disappointments in my life that I couldn’t believe that a real good thing would happen to me.

I started having these negative thoughts. What if this yoga school was a scam? I kept checking on their social media pages. I even started stalking Taryn Weggelaar on Google and social media. Okay, she is real, they are real, the school is real, but then I started to worry about other things. What if I didn’t get a plane ticket? What if the plane crashed? What if something else happened and I couldn’t go? What if it didn’t happen?

But it happened! On June 30, I finally left Jakarta, I finally arrived in Bali, and on the 4^th of July, school finally started! It really happened, and it was really the best experience I’ve ever had in my life!

 

(to be continued…)

Nyokap Gue Kena Stroke, Part 2: Anak Brengsek

Oke, jadi, akhirnya perkara swab udah beres.

Buat jaga-jaga jikalau di antara kalian ada yang kelewat polos dan lugu, iya, di tulisan (entry) sebelumnya, gue bercanda, gue beneran diswab, bukan dirukiyah. Sampai sini paham?

Yah, jadi, sedikit review, beberapa minggu lalu, nyokap gue terkena serangan stroke ringan dan harus dirawat di rumah sakit selama 11 hari. Kalau di tulisan sebelumnya, gue udah cerita soal drama swab, kali ini gue mau cerita lebih lanjut seputar hal-hal lain yang gue hadapi ketika nyokap kena stroke.

Lo tau, kalo ada anggota keluarga kena musibah, apalagi sakit kritis kaya stroke gitu, yang paling capek apa? Bales-balesin WA dari temen-temennya!

Gejalanya gimana? Kejadiannya gimana? Kenapa bisa kena? Jatuh nggak? Bibirnya miring nggak? Pingsan atau sadar?

Capek gue banyak banget yang nanya-nanya doang ngga beli.

Apalagi yang sampe nanya berkali-kali, minta update mulu, sampe telepon-telepon. Beneran, bukan cuma 1 loh yang kaya gini. Banyak! Nyokap gue banyak banget temennya, nggak kaya gue!

“Tante minta update-nya dong, soalnya Tante khawatir kalo nggak ada update.”

Hey! Don’t make this about you! This is not about you!

Iya, gue tau, gue paham, mereka tuh bener-bener peduli sama nyokap gue. Mereka sayang banget sama nyokap gue dan mereka sangat khawatir. Gue pun sangat terharu dan berterimakasih atas kasih sayang dan perhatian mereka. Tapi kan tugas kami anak-anaknya adalah merawat nyokap, mengurus administrasi rumah sakit, dan mengurus klaim asuransi, bukan menjawab pertanyaan para sahabat. Emangnya kami admin fanpage nyokap?

Duh, yawlaah… temen nyokap bakal pada benci deh nih sama gue. Asli! Sampe ada yang udah nanya-nanya panjang lebar, cuma gue jawab, “Iya, Tante, terimakasih ya.” Sumpah! Bukan ada lagi. Gue copas jawaban itu ke semua orang yang nanya.

Ya, sebenernya sih gue pingin bikin klarifikasi soal kondisi nyokap secara detail di Pod Cast Oom Deddy, biar semua orang nggak nanya-nanya lagi soal kondisi nyokap gue. Namun apa daya, gue bukan siapa-siapa. Dalam rangka apa Oom Deddy ngundang gue?

Gue tuh bukannya repot banget ngurusin nyokap, nggak! Aduh, gue jadi ngerasa nggak enak, karena nyokap mikirnya gue nggak sempet bales-balesin WA itu karena gue repot ngurusin dia. Padahal nggak sama sekali! Gue aja yang emang pada dasarnya males bales chat orang. Kalo gue cepet banget bales chat dari lo, lo boleh ngerasa spesial.

Kenapa sih orang nanyanya pada detail-detail amat? Biar apa gitu?

Apalagi yang udah nanya detail banget, terus buntutnya bilang, “Tante bantu doa ya.”

Bukannya doa nggak membantu ya. Gue berterimakasih sekali kepada orang-orang yang membantu, termasuk membantu mendoakan. Bener, terimakasih loh. Itu berarti sekali, dan kami sekeluarga sangat percaya akan kekuatan doa.

Tapi kalau memang mau bantu mendoakan, ya nggak perlu kan tanya sedetail itu? Lo mau laporan ke Tuhan? Ya kan Tuhan juga tau keadaan nyokap gue kaya apa.

“Gejalanya gimana? Tekanan darahnya berapa? Dikasi obat apa sama dokter?”

Kalau Anda dokter dan bisa memberi second opinion terhadap perawatan ibu saya, silakan. Tapi kalau mau berdoa untuk ibu saya, yang saya khawatirkan, Anda nanti berdoa bukan baca buku doa, Al-Quran, yasin, tapi baca catatan medis ibu saya sama resep dokter!

“Ya Allah, turunkan lah tekanan darah teman saya dari 170/95 menjadi… sebentar ya Allah, saya lupa berapa tekanan darah yang normal. Saya mau lihat broadcast WA grup dulu ya Allah…” (ya ibu-ibu kan cari info bukan dari gugel, tapi dari broadcast WA)

“Ya Allah, berikan lah teman saya Brainact tablet 500 miligram dan Kalnex tablet 500 miligram 3 kali sehari, diminum setelah makan. Bila sakit berlanjut, hubungi dokter, ya Allah!”

Masa doa kaya gitu? Nggak mungkin kan?

Masalahnya tulisan dokter kan Tuhan lebih paham cara bacanya. Saya takutnya, Anda salah baca.

Ibaratnya gini, misalnya nih temen nyokap WA ke nyokap. “Kasian, anak lo belom dapet jodoh ya. Gue bantu doain deh. Emang lo pinginnya anak lo dapet jodoh yang gimana?”

Terus nyokap bales, WA juga kan, “Gue sih pinginnya anak gue dapet jodoh yang tinggi, cakep, buat memperbaiki keturunan, seiman, sesuku, tapi kalo bisa sih jangan yang sejenis.”

Dalam bahasa/tulisan WA menjadi “Gw sih pgnnya anak gw dpt jodoh yg tinggi, cakep, buat memperbaiki keturunan, seiman, sesuku, tp kalo bisa sih jg yg sejenis.”

Temen nyokap pun membalas, "Siap!" dan dia pun segera berdoa sama Tuhan, sambil baca WA nyokap. "Ya Tuhan, berilah anak teman saya jodoh yang tinggi, cakep, buat memperbaiki keturunan, seiman, sesuku, tapi kalo bisa sih...”, lalu dia bingung, “Jg? apaan nih jg? Juga kali ya..."

"Ya Tuhan, berilah anak teman saya jodoh yang tinggi, cakep, seiman, sesuku, juga sejenis."

Ya bahaya kan kalo gue dapet jodoh sejenis, sama-sama guru les, sama-sama miskin, sama-sama nggak bisa berkontribusi untuk pengobatan nyokap gue.

Ya iya sih, nyokap gue kan juga berdoa. Tapi kalo keimanan temen nyokap lebih tebel, nanti doa dia yang dijabah.

Gue rasa, kalo temen nyokap baca tulisan gue ini, doa mereka bakal berubah: “Ya Allah, semoga kalau saya sakit nanti, anak saya tidak seperti anak teman saya ini, ya Allah! Judes banget! Orang kan niatnya mau bantu!”

Btw, temen-temen nyokap nggak cuma bantu doa loh ya. Mereka juga nyumbang uang banyak banget dan tiap hari ada aja yang ngirimin makanan. Temen-temen gue pun pada ngirimin makanan setelah akhirnya gue terpaksa ngasi tau mereka soal nyokap. Yang pasti, dari pihak keluarga, saudara-saudara nyokap dan sepupu-sepupu gue sangat banyak membantu dari segi moril dan materil. Terikamasih banyak ya untuk kalian semua yang saya sebutkan di paragraf ini. Maafkan kalau saya judes tiap ditanya update ibu saya. Emang dasarnya judes aja.

 

(to be continued! Percaya lah! Masih banyak drama seputar nyokap gue kena stroke)

Nyokap Gue Kena Stroke, Part 1: Swag test!

Nyokap gue baru aja kena stroke, sekitar akhir Maret. Pas nyokap kena stroke, gue shock dan sedih banget. Gue sangat terpukul, teriak-teriak, meratapi nasib, dan menangis histeris. Semua itu karena satu hal: swab test bajingan!

Sebagai satu-satunya di keluarga yang nggak punya bayi, udah pasti gue yang harus nungguin nyokap di rumah sakit. Sebenernya, gue nggak ada masalah nungguin orang di rumah sakit. Namun, seperti yang kita semua ketahui, di masa pandemi yang nggak kelar-kelar ini, semua pasien dan penunggu wajib PCR sebelum menjalani rawat inap! Khusus bagi penunggu (hanya yang kasat mata), wajib PCR sekali seminggu, atau antigen 3 hari sekali, walaupun mereka di rumah sakit terus, di kamar pasien terus, nggak ke mana-mana.

Kan bangkek ya!

Pertama, biaya rawat inap makin mahal! PCR dan antigen pastinya tidak ditanggung asuransi. Kedua… faaakkk! Ngeri banget idung gue dicolok-colok benda asing nggak jelas! Ugh! I hate swab test! Bisa nggak sih diganti aja jadi swag test?

Asli! Beneran, gue kalo diswab selalu drama banget! Nggak pernah nggak!

Jangan bayangin gue diswab layaknya orang normal yang tinggal duduk diem, dicolok, paling matanya kedip-kedip doang atau berair dikit, atau paling parah udahannya bersin-bersin. Gue kalo lagi diswab lebih mirip orang lagi dirukiyah!

Eh bener nggak sih namanya rukiyah? Tau kan, exorcism, kalo orang kerasukan setan, terus setannya diusir pake doa-doa dan air suci gitu. Biasanya dilakukan oleh seorang pemuka agama atau lebih.

Gue tiap diswab minimal harus dipegangin tiga orang. Satu megangin kaki, satu megangin tangan, satu megangin kepala… lah yang nge-swab siapa dong? Oke, minimal 4 berarti.

Oke, balik lagi ke kejadian nyokap gue dirawat inap karena stroke, sebagai penunggu, pilihan gue antara:

1. hidung gue dicolok seminggu sekali, tapi lebih mahal, atau

2. lebih murah, tapi setelah 3 hari idung gue mesti dicolok lagi.

Setakut-takutnya gue sama PCR, gue tetep lebih pilih yang murah. Jadi antigen lah gue.

Pas gue dateng nih ke tempat swab, gue udah wanti-wanti nih nakes-nakesnya. “Sus, ini saya takuuut banget loh sebenernya diswab. Tapi karena harus jagain ibu saya, saya terpaksa banget ini diswab.”

Dengan wajah penuh kesabaran dan suara penuh kehangatan, susternya berkata, “Oh, nggak papa kok, Bu. Kami sudah biasa.”

He?? Udah biasa?? Wahh… Gue yakin dia nggak tau apa yang akan dihadapinya.

Kalo bener dia biasa nge-swab orang macem gue, gue yakin, pandemi baru 3 bulan juga dia udah resign! Dia pasti udah cari kerjaan lain! Yakin gue! 100%! “Yawlaah… bayaran gue nggak seberapa, ngeswab orang gini amat!” terus pindah cari kerjaan lain tuh orang!

Tapi ya udah lah, yang penting gue udah wanti-wanti. Gue duduk, siap-siap diswab, tegang banget, ya kan. Nah… mulai deh tuh rukiyah! Ada yang megangin kaki, megangin tangan, megangin kepala, megangin dada…

Dadanya sendiri loh ya. Siyok dia tuh ngeliat kelakuan gue!

Heboh lah itu. Gue dipegangin sambil teriak-teriak gitu. Ada yang sambil nyipratin air suci, ada yang sambil komat-kamit. Mana swab kalo di rumah sakit dalem banget kan. Pernah nggak lo swab di rumah sakit? Beda loh kedalamannya. Asli, dalem banget! Sampe nembus ke belakang kepala tuh gue rasa!

Gue juga kasian sama yang ngeswabin gue. Asli! Kasian loh mereka. Sampe akhirnya, pada satu titik, salah satu nakes itu pun menghembuskan nafas lelah tak berdaya sambil bertanya, “Bu, ini bener-bener udah nggak ada lagi nih yang bisa jagain pasien selain ibu?”

Yee… kan tadi gue udah bilang…

Yawlah…, kasian banget dia. Gue yakin tiap gue swab, bukan cuma gue yang trauma. Nakesnya juga ikutan trauma!

Tapi akhirnya, setelah segala drama dan pergumulan lahir batin, berhasil juga loh gue diswab! Gue lega banget, tapi yang lebih lega lagi adalah para nakes yang nge-swab gue tentunya. Wajah-wajah mereka yang penuh kesabaran dan kehangatan telah berubah menjadi wajah-wajah sepet siap resign.

Abis diswab gue minta maaf dan berterimakasih ke nakes-nakes itu, gue keluar dari ruang swab, dan nunggu sekitar 10 menitan sampai hasilnya keluar.

Gue dipanggil sama salah satu nakes untuk ngeliat hasilnya.

“Bu…, maaf…, hasilnya positif,” ujarnya.

“Po…, positif…?”

“Iya, Bu, positif kerasukan setan.”

 Ternyata gue emang dirukiyah!

Pantesan aja tadi nusuknya dalem banget! Ternyata gue bukan diswab, tapi dipasangin paku lewat idung!

 

(to be continued! Percaya lah! Masih banyak drama seputar nyokap gue kena stroke)

Leave Me Alone

 Tuesday, March 29, 2022:

All that was left in a hurry

The bed that wasn't made

The mugs that weren't washed

Things that weren't done properly

The words that were left unsaid

and the ones that were said but shouldn't be

:

This is probably one of the hardest times in my life, and I just want to be left alone.

Like, yes please, help me, help us financially and physically by all means. But I'm emotionally exhausted to see someone I love in a bad condition. I'm emotionally exhausted to be so close to losing someone I love. And I just need people to stop asking questions.

Why TF would people want to know what happened? Why TF do I have to explain everything to everyone?

If I hardly ever say anything to the ones in their hardest time, it's because I want to be left alone in my own hardest time.

I know people mean well, and it's really not their faults. They're just being very kind and I'm grateful for all the material and physical helps. I don't hate them at all. I know they care about me, about us. I just hate the fact that in my hardest time, being left alone is the only thing I need.

I won't refuse the money, but I really don't fucking need to talk. I fucking hate talking about my problem, especially when I fucking know that the talk won't solve any fucking thing. It's fucking annoying.

The only moral support I need in my hardest time is silence. And some cash.

Dirgahayu RI!

Jumat, 17 Agustus, 2018

SelamatHari Kemerdekaan Indonesia!
Dirgahayu ke-73 RI! Udah lumayan tua ya negara kita.

Apa yang biasanya lo lakukan untuk merayakan hari kemerdekaan ini?

Gue biasanya jalan-jalan...ke masa lalu.

Iya, di masa lalu, masa kecil gue dulu, 17-an selalu dirayakan meriah banget di RT dan RW setempat. Ada lomba-lomba antar warga se-RT, lalu ada lagi lomba-lomba antar RT se-RW. Belom! Belom sampe tingkat antar RW se-kelurahan. Seru kali ya kalo sampe kelurahan, udah kaya Paskibra.

Dulu gue paling semangat tiap 17-an!
Karena dulu gue masi tinggal di komplek perumahan yang asik banget, yang warganya kompak dan aktif, dan gue masi sekolah.
Jadi, baik di rumah maupun di sekolah, gue mengikuti berbagai macam lomba.

Ada lomba khas 17-an seperti lomba makan kerupuk, balap karung, balap kelereng, bakiak, dan yang paling seru buat gue, panjat pinang!
Ada juga lomba dan kompetisi lain seperti panco, tarik tambang, sepakbola pakai daster/sarung, dan lain-lain.

Jujur aja, pas di RT gue cuma supporter. Banyak yang lebih jago makan kerupuk sama balap karung, nggak bisa main voli, nggak bisa ikut main bola karena cuma ada buat cowok, dan balap kelereng cuma buat anak-anak.

Tapi di sekolah, gue lumayan aktif. Biasanya gue ikut lomba bakiak, tarik tambang, sama udah pasti main sepakbola dong!

Selain itu, setiap 17-an, sekolah gue selalu mengirimkan tim Paskibra untuk bersaing di tingkat, kelurahan, kecamatan, bahkan sempat mencapai tingkat nasional! Gue yang sama sekali nggak ikutan Paskibra aja ikutan bangga.

Lalu gue lulus sekolah, dan lulus kuliah, dan pindah ke komplek rumah yang sekarang. Pertama-tama, nggak ada perayaan 17-an, oh mungkin karena lagi pada puasa, karena waktu itu 17 Agustus pas Ramadhan. Selama 3-4 tahun 17 Agustus jatuh pada saat orang-orang puasa atau lebaran. Tapi setelahnya, ternyata emang nggak pernah ada lomba atau acara apa-apa.

Waktu gue ngelirik komplek-komplek sebelah dan sekitar, ternyata mereka pada ngerayain 17-an dengan berbagai macam lomba.

Memang rumput tetangga selalu lebih...merah-putih ya.

Tapi sebenernya, kalo dipikir-pikir, kenapa gue, dan juga orangtua gue, selalu mengeluh bahwa di komplek kita ini nggak ada acara-acara untuk merayakan 17-an? Orangtua gue selalu mengeluh, katanya warga di sini nggak ada inisiatif.
Lah, kami kan warga juga? Kenapa nggak kami saja yang berinisiatif mengadakan acara dan lomba-lomba untuk 17-an?
Mungkin tahun depan bisa dicoba. Kali aja, berawal dari EO 17-an RT, tau-tau bisa berkembang jadi EO kejuaraan dunia balap karung. Eh ada nggak sih? Siapa tau ada.

Masih soal ngeluh-mengeluh nih, kedua orangtua gue tuh suka banget ngeluh soal tetangga-tetangga yang males pasang bendera tiap 17 Agustus. Beneran loh! Bahkan kalo soal ini mereka nggak cuma ngeluh, tapi juga menegur satu-satu tetangga yang nggak pasang bendera.

Yah, ini balik lagi ke masing-masing sih ya. Tapi kalo menurut gue, sebagai orang yang merasa terganggu dengan orang lain yang mengusik cara orang beragama dan beribadah, gue nggak akan mengusik hubungan orang lain dengan negara.

Bukan cuma gue loh yang nggak suka kalo orang ikut campur masalah agama dan kepercayaan. Kedua orangtua gue pun paling anti sama yang mengatasnamakan agama untuk menuduh orang lain sesat. Hubungan orang dengan Tuhan itu personal, cukup buat masing-masing aja, nggak perlu ngurusin orang lain. Kita sendiri juga belum tentu agamanya udah sempurna.

Nah apa bedanya sama hubungan orang dengan negara? Kami pasang bendera, sejak seminggu sebelum dan seminggu setelah hari kemerdekaan. Lalu ada beberapa orang yang hanya pasang bendera pada saat hari kemerdekaan, dan ada yang tidak pasang bendera sama sekali. Apakah mereka kurang nasionalis dibandingkan kami?

Apa yang sudah kami lakukan untuk negara? Tidak usah bicara besar. Apakah kami lebih memilih produk lokal daripada produk luar? Apakah kami lebih banyak menonton film lokal daripada Hollywood? Apakah kami lebih memilih berlibur ke tujuan wisata lokal daripada internasional? Kalo yang terakhir, iya sih, tapi lebih karena murah aja.

Ibu gue itu orangnya anti banget sama yang lokal-lokal. "Udah beli mahal-mahal, jauh-jauh di luar negri, taunya buatan Indonesia," entah berapa ribu kali komentar semacam itu keluar dari mulutnya, dan ibu-ibu lainnya.
Tiap diajakin nonton film Indonesia, "Oh film Indonesia ya? Mamah nggak deh kalo film Indonesia."
Ya, iya sih, gue pun mengakui, masih banyak film Indonesia yang mengecewakan. Tapi banyak juga kok yang jauh lebih bagus dari film luar, apalagi film Hollywood.
Tiap denger lagu, pas denger musiknya padahal menikmati, eh begitu kata-katanya keluar, ternyata bahasa indonesia, langsung buru-buru diganti.
Entah kenapa ya, ibu gue ini antiii banget sama yang indonesia-indonesia. Kayaknya tuh, alergi apa gimana gitu.
Makanya gue juga heran, kenapa sih lo ngurusin banget orang mau pasang bendera apa nggak?

Dan orang kaya gitu bukan cuma satu loh di Indonesia. Banyak coy! Seperti orang-orang yang ngerasa lebih beriman dari yang lain, sehingga yang lain sesat. Setiap orang yang ngerasa nasionalis pun seenaknya ngecap orang lain kurang nasionalis, atau bahkan anti NKRI.
Setiap kubu politik, baik yang mendukung si A maupun si B, si C, atau si D, apapun ideologinya, sama-sama merasa lebih nasionalis, lebih pancasilais, dan lebih berhak untuk berteriak "NKRI harga mati!"
Yakin? Gue todong pistol juga lo pindah kewarganegaraan!

Udah lah, nggak usah koar-koar mana yang bener mana yang salah, mana yang nasionalis, mana yang nggak. Gue yakin kok semua rakyat Indonesia cinta sama Indonesia, bangga menjadi bangsa Indonesia, dan mengabdi pada negara dengan caranya masing-masing. Yang paling penting itu kita damai dan bersatu!

Ironis banget kan, teriak-teriak NKRI harga mati, tapi masih kemakan juga sama isu-isu pemecah belah bangsa?

The Father and the Children

Sunday, May 27, 2018

(Originally posted on May 23, 2018)


Once upon an absurd time and place, where such event could possibly occur, there were this father and his four children.

The eldest son, the 7 years old Jack, was very close to his father. His father was  too happy and proud of his firstborn. So, his father always treated him well and full of love.

Jack loved his father very much. In Jack's eyes, his father was a loving and caring family man who would never harm his children in any way. Jack was very obedient, not because he was afraid, but because he loved his father.

Things were different for the second son, the 6 years old Mike. He was born in the time of war, so the father was harder on him. He scolded him a lot and sometimes even hit him. However, Mike knew, no matter what, he had no other option but to be as obedient as possible, because his father was the only person who took care of him.

The third son, the 5 years old Artie, was still too young to even acknowledge that they had a father. Their father left before their youngest brother, the 3 years old Peter was born. So, he was too young to even remember him.

However, the mother kept telling the children that one day, their father would be back. And, because the father used to be very powerful and dominant in the house, in order to keep her children in order, the mother often spoke on behalf of the father, promised the children that they'd get rewards and punishments from their father for whatever they did.

After their father left, their mother had to work a lot, and Jack and Mike had to take care of Artie and Peter almost all the time. The mother didn't even have a chance to take care of or even speak to Artie and Peter herself.

Now they happened to live next to a river. Everytime the mother had to leave the house, everytime she told Jack and Mike to take care of their little brothers, Artie and Peter, she also warned them not to play in the river, because they could be drowned and dead. Of course she especially warned the two boys not to let their little brothers play in the river. And as always, she warned those boys about the rewards and punishments from the father, to make sure the boys would do what she told them and wouldn't do what she told them not.

She even left a note on the table. Since none of her boys could read, she made a drawing that showed 4 boys, a river flows, and a death symbol.

When the mother left, Jack and Mike were in charge. Jack and Mike didn't actually care about Artie or Peter. All they really cared about is their own good. The reason why Jack was willing to take care of his younger brothers was just because he wanted to make his father happy when he came back home. And for Mike, the reason was so his father wouldn't beat him. He would do anything to avoid punishments from his father.

It was easier to keep Artie and Peter from the river when they were little. But now that Artie was 5 and Peter was 3, it was getting a lot more challenging for Jack and Mike to do their job.

Jack was starting to let his brothers do whatever they want, because he believed his father wouldn't punish him anyway. He believed his father loved him to much to ever hurt him. He only cared about his father and didn't actually care about his brothers.

Mike, on the other hand, would never forget how scary their father could be when he was angry. So Mike started to threaten his younger brothers with violence. Just like Jack, Mike actually didn't care about his brothers at all. But he was so afraid of his father's punishments.

Meanwhile, Artie had actually been old enough to reason. None of the older siblings knew that Artie had made it  to the river once, and almost drowned. Artie was lucky enough, not only he somehow survived, but also that the older brothers never found out about it. But he learnt himself that the river could be dangerous.

So, while Jack lost his interest to keep his brothers away from the river, and Mike was so afraid of father's punishments, Artie kept Peter away from the river because he knew the river was dangerous, and he really cared about Peter. Artie didn't care about what his father would do. He didn't even believe of his existence in the first place.

One day, Jack, Mike, and Artie were finally off guard, and Peter made it to the river. Artie was the first to find out. He shouted, "Guys, Peter went to the river!" as he ran to the river to save Peter.

Mike was furious. He chased his two brothers. "Hey! What are you guys doing!? Father's gonna kill us!"

When Peter was almost drowned, Artie did anything he could to save him. Mike could've helped them, but he was too afraid to go to the river because he always remembered the punishment he'd get from his father. So he just watched. He would never, ever go to the river, no matter what.

But Artie and Peter made it anyway. And the three boys came back home. Artie and Peter was glad to survive from the river. But Mike was still furious.

Mike said, "Jack, we must kill Artie and Peter!"

Jack was calm. "But why?"

Mike took the note their mother left. "Jack, look at this note!"

Still Jack was calm. He said, "Relax, Mike, Father wouldn't punish us. He loves us."

"No Jack, look! Four boys must be us," Mike said. "This must be the river. And this must be death."

"And?"

"It means, anyone who got into the river should be killed! Father wants us to kill them, Jack!"

"No, we should not kill him."

"But if we didn't do it, if we didn't kill our brothers, Father would punish us!"

Artie was confused. "Hey Mike, we survived, why are you still upset?"

"Are you crazy! Father is going to punish us all!" Mike freaked out.

"But who is Father? Does he even exist? Wasn't Mother the one who wrote that note?" Artie asked, and his question made Mike even more furious.

Even the calm Jack was finally furious. "How dare you say that? How dare you doubt the existence of our father!?"

"Whatever she has written is a message from him. He is real and he is going to punish us!" said Mike.

"No he's not going to punish us," said Jack. "But he is real! And he loves us all!"

"So what? We survived the river, it's all that matters! We would not make the same mistake." said Artie.

So the three brothers kept on fighting. While they were busy fighting over what they should do about the 'river incident', they didn't realize that Peter was already making his way back to the river.

Peter made it to the river again. But that time, no one was there to save him. He was drowning while his brothers were busy arguing whether the Father exists or not, or whether he is a lover or a punisher.

What an irony, isn't it? The three older brothers could've just stopped fighting, been glad that they were all fine, and kept an eye on their little brother. But they were having an unnecessary fight instead.

Jack might love his father so much, but he wouldn't do anything to save his brother, because he didn't really care about him. He only cared about his father. In fact, he only cared about himself. As long as he knows his father wouldn't do anything to harm him, he wouldn't care whatever would happen to his brothers.

Mike would do anything to avoid his father's punishment. He was so afraid of his father. So yeah, he would do anything to make sure that his brothers didn't go to the river, not for his brother's sake, but for the sake of avoiding his father's punishment. Yes, it could have worked. The point was not letting the brothers go to the river, right?

But then, when the brothers really did, and was in danger, he wouldn't do anything to help them. Because avoiding his father's prohibition is more important for him than helping his brothers.

And the worse would be when he made a wrong interpretation of his mother's note. He would've done exactly the opposite of what his mother and father would want. Mike would or wouldn't do anything to avoid his father's punishments. And he might do something really bad just because a wrong interpretation told him to.

And Artie, well he was actually the only one who really cared about their youngest brother Peter. But what could he do against the more powerful brothers, who spoke in the name of the powerful father?

Why would anyone leave a bunch of children next to a dangerous river, with only an ambiguous note? That'll be another question.

But actually, couldn't the children just really cared about each other without having to think of rewards and punishments from their father? Or do the lessons of rewards and punishments had made them lose their common senses?


Aloha, A.

The Story of Ava and Benji

Friday, May 18, 2018

Meet Ava and Benji. Ava was a very beautiful cat and Benji was a super cute and adorable dog.

Ava and Benji were raised together as siblings. Ava and Benji have always loved each other. Until one day, they had to live separately. They didn't understand what really happened. But suddenly they had to say goodbye to each other for what seems to be forever.

Benji ended up in a house full of dogs and Ava ended up with other strayed cats.

His whole life, Benji had never spent enough time with other dogs. But one thing he learnt from his new friends was that cats are all evil. At first of course Benji didn't believe it, because he remembered Ava, his best friend forever. But while walking through the neighborhood with his new friends, he found some cats. He tried to convince his new friends that cats were harmful. But the cats were not Ava. Unlike Ava, they had never met any nice dogs that treat them nicely. So the cats attacked Benji. This kept happening every time, until finally Benji believed that all cats are evil. So finally he hated all cats. Of course he still remembered Ava. But he had concluded in his mind, that all cats are just evil. Ava was an exception, because she was raised with a dog. Benji even believed that Ava was actually evil, because she's a cat after all.

Meanwhile, Ava was also surprised to find out how cruel and aggressive a dog can be. Another cats had warned her not to be friends with dogs, because all dogs are evil. And just like Benji, at first Ava refused to believe that. But also like what Benji had experienced, Ava also found that all dogs she met were so mean to her. So, with time, finally Ava had to believe that all dogs are evil.

That's it. Everytime Benji saw a cat, he'd bark at it, chased it, and even attacked it. He no longer cared to get to know the cat first.
So did Ava. Everytime she met a dog, she ran, or got ready to protect herself. She hated every dogs.

Benji believed that all cats are evil, and Ava believed that all dogs are evil. And they themselves became living proofs of the evil dog and cat.


We can't blame them. They're just animals. Luckily, we are not animals.