What am I Doing and Why am I Doing This?

*If you want to read this, please read this article completely, do not stop before you finish

I keep asking, what am I doing, and why am I doing this?
To be honest, to tell the truth, over and over again I kept thinking of this:

I have to stop this whole crazy insurance agent thing

Look at me;

White shirt, black skirt, and pantovels

A woman’s pantovels

This is not true.

This is not me.

This is… bullshit.

I’m not this… serious woman with working suite.

I’m not a serious-financial-planner kinda person.

I’m not a financial person.

I’m an artist.

I’m basically an artist.

I’m doing art.

I love to be free and making art works.

Not selling insurance to people who don’t even know why they buy it.

Every single day I walk on the street,

In this beautiful city with beautiful buildings

I always wish that I wore something casual.

Tank-top and shorts instead this crappy working suite

SLR camera on my hand instead of a handbag with the notebook inside

Even that I already wear my working suite,

people still notice that I’m not a financial planner

This hairdo can’t lie

My hairdo is such a mess; it grows against the gravitation

And I have no interest at all to do anything about that

Or, I mean, this

I don’t like this job, and can’t act like I do.

I just pretend that I like.

But pretending to be one can’t make you the one you pretend to be.

I’m an artist.

I’m silly and spontaneous.

I can’t act serious as a serious-financial-planner.

Some financial people are pretty funny.

But they’re funny in a way they make fun of person like me.

But wait!

The question is 'Why am I doing this?'

If I follow my ego,

I might leave this job and do something more fun.

I might just leave all my responsibilities.

I might just do what I wanna do.

But every time I feel like quiting,

There will always be some great people that remind me

again and again

of the reason, why am I doing this.

I have my own reason.

I believe in what I'm doing.

I believe that I am now doing something good.

I'm doing something to make people's live change.

I help people.

I believe that the information,

this information that I have to share to people everyday

is a very, very important information.

When somebody get some trouble

Financial, health, accident, critical illness

And they need lots amount of money

I probably couldn't help them.

But if I just push my ego away for a while

and use my precious time, just to share this useful information

I wouldn't have to help them when they got into trouble,

because they already help them selves.

By having insurance.

And even if I already told them to have insurance

and they just didn't wanna have it for some silly reasons,

it would not be my responsibility,

because at least I have done my job,

which is just to tell them the precious information.

So this is me, doing this thing that lots of time I don't like to do.

Maybe I hate to wear shirt and skirt.
Maybe I hate to wear women shoes.
Maybe my hair would not compromise.

But me, my self, is the most important thing in this business.
I have the reason to keep doing this.

For love, for people, for their family, then also for me and my family.