I just realized that I've been so blessed

Friday, January 19, 2018

Day 12: Five Blessings in My Life

1. My unconventional way of thinking
Or maybe, unconsciously, I'm basically just a pretentious hipster.
But I'm happy that I'm not like most people. I'm not better than most people. My way of thinking can limit me from  some certain things. And sometimes I just can't get most people's logic and it's kinda annoying. So, no, it's not about which one is better. But you have to feel blessed for the way you think. It affects the way you live your life, the choices you make, the people you're surrounding yourself with, and so on.
You should feel blessed for the way you think, or else, you'd change your way of think, right?

2. The chance to do what I've done and to visit the places I've visited
I don't travel as much as I really want to, and have been very complaining about that. I haven't done many things on my or anyone's things-to-do-before-die list. But I feel blessed and grateful to ever had the chance to be in some places and to do some things.
Italy, Greece, and Brazil are the three countries I've always wanted to visit, in that order. I've been to two of those three countries. Maybe it's nothing for most people. But I feel so grateful about that. I still want to visit them again and again, and sometimes I got sad because I miss them, but come on! I've been there!
I've always wanted to talk to a non-english-speaking foreigner in their language, and I've done it, multiple times!
I've always wanted to learn foreign languages. Now there are many free applications and programs that I can use to learn any language I want.
I've seen some cool animals, I've been bitten by a tegu. It was a pretty cool experience.
I've always wanted a football or futsal team, now I have one. I've always wanted to try wall climbing, because I've always loved to climb anything, and I've tried. I haven't published any books, but I've known how it feels to write something that people love, because I've written some, and people have read some.

3. My physical condition
I'm not the healthiest person, but hey, I still have two functional hands, two functional legs, two functional eyes, two functional ears. I can walk, I can breathe, I can see the beauties around me, I can hear the music, I still have my memory.

4. This country and neighborhood I live in
To be honest, I hate so many things about this country, especially most of its people and their hypocritical values. I also hate about the city where my office is. But overall, I still feel lucky that this country is not at war. We live in peace, even though we're at some kinda stupid war in the social media. And I love the neighborhood I live in. I have the most wonderful neighbors. They're really nice. They're the kindest people. Even the kids are very nice.

5. My family, friends, and social life
It might sound so cliche, but my family is the greatest blessing I've had in my life. They might not perfect, but they're the best for me!
My dad is a family man whose always choose his family over everything. He really enjoys hanging out with his children and siblings.
Honestly, my mom is a kind of person that I cannot stand, but as a mother, she's amazing! She'd do anything for her children. She's like Cersei. Maybe that's why I hate Cersei so much. I'm not always in a good relationship with my mother, but I don't hate my mother. We know we love each other. I think she's great. She can always support her children in any possible way. She'd do literally anything for us.
My sister and brother are the best siblings in the world. I don't know how they could love a sister like me, but they do love me. Spending time with them is the best feeling in the world, even better than being alone. I still need to be alone sometimes tho'.
My brother's wife and my sister's fiancé are the best people to add into our family. They're like my own brother and sister. My brother and sister are really smart when it comes to choosing a lifetime partner. So proud of them.
I have many cousins too, and aunts, uncles, nieces, and nephews, and when I'm around them I feel so blessed.
I have a lot of friends too. I've always been a loner. I didn't have any friends until I was 14. I'm still a loner until now. But somehow I still have good friends. I mean, they're very good too me even though I'm not really a good friend to them. I'm surrounded by love and trust. Some would say, you could only have a few best friends, but I have a lot of people that I would call best friends, because they're always there when I need them.
Trust me, I'm doing my best to do the same in return. One of the biggest reasons why I should have financial freedom is to have enough time, energy, and money to spend with them, to make them happy, and to help them when they're in need.

So, those are the five blessings in my life. I'm so blessed.

I really wonder, what have I done to deserve all of these blessings?

I've been complaining like a spoilt brat. Yes, I don't have everything I want. But I have almost everything I need. I just need to remind myself over and over again that, even though I'm still far from rich, my life is actually really good.

Thank God.

Make money, self improvement, me time, loved ones

Monday, January 15, 2018

30 Days Writing Challenge, Day 8: Share something you struggle with

Whoa! That's heavy!

Okay, I'm struggling with a lot of things. We are all struggling with a lot of things.

I wanna share my daily struggle of managing my time to spend. I struggle to set my priorities.

Every single day I need to make money, I need to reach my own goals, I need me time, and I also really need to spend time with my family.

Of course making money should be the first priority, since I'm not Bill Gates or his family member. Then I wanna reach my other goals, such as learning languages, writing books, or practicing my drawing skills. But I also need me time, or I'll lose my mind. I need some relaxing time to play games, read books, or just exploring social media.

I also want to spend time with family. I want to have all the time to spend with my sister and her fiancé, my brother and his wife, my mom, and especially my dad. I want to listen carefully to whatever he's got to say, I want to talk about football, about his beautiful childhood, about my childhood, about his dreams, even about politics.

I want to spend time with my cousins, my aunts, my uncles, and especially my nieces and nephews. I want to see them grow. I want to play with them in the theme parks or football fields. I want to talk with my cousins, uncles, and aunts about everything happens in our lives.

So the struggle is real.

If I don't make money, I'll have no money. If I had no money, I wouldn't be able to buy food, clothes, new books, birthday presents for my loved ones, I wouldn't be able to pay for the transportation I need to go anywhere.

If I didn't reach my personal goals, I wouldn't be happy, even if I was surrounded by the loved ones, something would be missing. I can't really explain my urge to reach all those goals, but they are very, very important to me.

I want to write books, because I have so many ideas in my head, and I really need to share them. I need to learn as many languages as possible, because everytime I met a non-english-speaking foreigner, or travel to non-english-speaking countries, I really have to speak their languages. When we were in Greece, my dad left his hat in the bus station, and the taxi driver who took us from the station to our hotel didn't speak English. I just needed to deliver a simple message: "My dad left his hat in the bus. Can we go back to the bus station?" But back then I didn't speak Greek!

And me time, if I don't have any time to myself, I'll go crazy! I need a break. Everyone needs a break.

And I'm a very introverted person. I'm so happy to be surrounded with my family, but I got tired too. At some point, I just wanna be quiet and let them all do the talk. People make me tired, even the loved ones.

And people! People are so hard to maintain.

I love too many people in my life. I love my family, I love my best friends, and I have plenty of them! I don't wanna lose my moment with any of them. I don't wanna miss any important moment in their life. But I have very limited time, money, and energy!

But you know what? I know some people out there who can juggle all of those needs pretty well. They even have wife, husband, and even children!

I really think the key is to eliminate the 'making money' part. Of all those things, making money is the only thing I don't enjoy at all, but at the same time the one I really have to do.

So, what I really need to do is building passive income as soon and as much as possible. I really need to find the fastest and most effective way to make money without having to work ever again.

When I have unlimited money, I'll have unlimited time and energy. So I'd have everything. I'd be able to learn any language I want, travel wherever I want, do whatever I want, spend all the time with my dad, my brother and sister and their wife and fiancé, and even my mom, and my aunts, uncles, cousins, nephews and nieces, friends, and I'd still have a lot of me time!

Five Ways to Win My Heart

Saturday, January 13, 2018

30 Days Writing Challenge: Day 6

Five Ways to Win My Heart!

Oh gosh... I feel like exposing my self!
Why should I write about this?

Actually, my heart is wide open. It's just hard to get deeper, but easy to win.

Anyway, here's five ways I think people can win my heart..

5 Praise me, appreciate me
I'm lack of appreciation and recognition, mostly because I've done nothing to deserve it anyway. Lol!
But seriously, I love to be appreciated and praised. My moon is in Leo, which means I am actually a Leo. My pride is higher than the tax in developed countries.
It's nice when guys tell me that I'm pretty, but I really love it when people tell me that I'm smart, or funny, or unique, or talented. It's nice when people appreciate my artworks or saying they're amused by my articles, they love my articles, something like that.
Have you watched 'Mother'? Well, I'm kinda like Javier Bardem's character.

4 Puppy
What kinda woman wouldn't melt if someone bring her a puppy, or even just show a puppy picture? Oh! Puppies are the best!
But actually, it's not just puppy. Even though I am not an animal lover myself (not hate, just you know...), animal lovers always win my heart. I have things for the ones who really take a good care of animals, especially dogs. I mean... it needs a huuuge patience and a lot of love. And animals are honest. You can pretend to love kids or elderly, but you can't pretend to love animals because animals can tell if you're pretending.

3 Food
Bring me my favourite food, cook for me, buy me some snacks and junk food... Yep, if you win my mouth and stomach, you win my heart. That's the easiest way I guess.

2 Get closed and connected with my family
My sister, brother, dad, and mom mean everything to me. They're the four people I really care about. So if they like you and enjoy your companion, I instantly like you. You win my heart. That's why I love my brother's wife and my sister's fiancé. They make my siblings happy, they become my own siblings.

1 Intellectual conversation
Not that I'm intelligent myself. You do realize that you don't have to be extremely smart to be a sapiosexual, right? I'm not a smart or knowledgeable person, so people who are smart and full of knowledge always win my heart. I love talking to such people because I can always learn a lot of new, interesting things! They also inspire me, give me beautiful ideas, and trigger my intelligence and creativity. I love talking about many things, especially life and human nature. And I feel so lucky that I've met some highly intelligent people that have amused me with all our interesting conversations. Talking to them is never boring and the conversations are usually endless. Well, I just hope that they enjoy the conversations as well.


So, there, five ways to win my heart.

10 Things That Make Me Really Happy

Sunday, January 7, 2018

So my sister gave me this ’30 Day Writing Challenge’, and the first day challenge is….

“LIST 10 THINGS THAT MAKE YOU REALLY HAPPY”

Okay, so… My wise friend told me once; there are only two things in the world that give a human true happiness: to give and to be trusted.

But I’m not there yet. For now, here are the 10 things that make me happy:

10 Dogs

I can’t say I’m an animal lover—or even dog lover if it means I have to take care of it—but dogs make me happy. They are the best creature I’ve ever seen! All dogs are incredibly cute, beautiful, and adorable! They are angels, really.

9 Sports game

Especially football (soccer, but I’d love to play American football too), but any other sports game would do. I love to play, not to watch, because I don’t like to watch. I love to be watched instead, even if I suck, playing is still better than watching. Especially when I watch my favorite football team, I usually get too attached emotionally and it ruins my mood for no reason. I hate it.

8 Books

I don’t read many books. I don’t read often, because I don’t have enough time. But I love books. Just being in a library or a bookstore makes me so happy. I’m surrounded by so many interesting books that I’d definitely read if I had the time.

7 Traveling

I prefer to do it alone, but to travel with my family is awesome too. I love to travel to other countries with completely different culture with mine. I love to travel to countries with languages I’ve learned, interact with the locals, and get them awed with my ability to speak in their tongue, even though I actually suck at it. That’s one of the best feelings. Especially the Europeans, they are mostly very appreciative.

6 Food

Pizza, olive, assorted cheese, fresh salmon, fresh oyster, creamy desserts…

I know some people would say, “It’s just food, it’s not love,” but for me, “It’s just love, not food,” makes more sense. I mean, love is beautiful. I love love. But honestly, who can live without food? Come on!

5 Learning

I love to learn about a lot of new things. Mind the ‘new’. It means I love it when it’s new for me. When I’ve learned it for a while, I got bored and move to the other things to learn. What have I learned by the way? Well, I’ve learned eight foreign languages, and speak none of them properly. Lol! I learned about philosophy, astronomy, psychology, sociology, the history of human, of language, of arts, of football, of fashion, of… yeah you name it, and now have forgotten most of them. Who cares? It makes me happy.

4 Writing

I’ve always loved to write. It’s the best thing to do in the world. It makes me happy to share whatever I thought, even if it would sound so dumb and ridiculous the very next day. I’m pretty expressive. I love to express whatever I feel, think, or dream about. I love to write stories and ideas. I used to write teen-series that were popular among my junior high and high school friends. And if I wanna be really honest, if I don’t have to think about making money, I’d love to be a writer. I mean, yeah some famous writers are extremely rich. But I don’t wanna write, being worried about whether my books would make money or not. I wanna just write because it makes me really happy.

3 The internet

Well, I don’t even have to explain, do I?

2 My inner circle

I love spending time with my sister and brother and their partners, my dad and mom, my cousins, some of my aunts and uncles, and my close friends (I have plenty). They’re so fun, awesome, and some of them are actually wise and inspiring. I won’t say I’d take a bullet for them, but trust me, they’re important enough to be put in number 2 in my sources of happiness list.

PS. No, romantic partner is not one of them. They’re like kids or animals: it’s fun to play with others’, but not so fun to have your own because you need to take care of it.

Because…

1 Me time

As much as I love the people I mentioned in number 2, I mostly love to be alone: watching movies or TV series, eat junk food, reading, making artworks, writing, listening to my music, singing it out loud, contemplating about life, taking a nice, warm, bubble bath, or even just doing useless thing like checking on social media. I still need people. As most people, I can’t live alone. But, me time is the best thing in the world, don’t you agree?

Okay, those are the 10 things that make me happy. There are a lot of things actually, but either they didn’t make it to the top 10, or I just forgot them. Anyway, see you in the next post.

Happy New Year 2016!!

Saturday, January 2, 2016

Happy new year 2016!!

Yeah I just got a chance to finally write my blog. I was supposed to write this yesterday, obviously. But damn! Everything didn’t go as planned. I started the new year unproductively.

Okay, before being all complaining, I think I should have mentioned my new year resolution first. Or maybe some little review of my 2015 before that.

How was 2015 for me?

Well, it’s quite satisfying. There was a very big change in the very beginning of the year, and it costs me some loss. But that’s just because I haven’t done things effectively. And there was some big, bad, awful incident with that Karina bitch. Yeah she stole my money. Big amount of money. And you know, I have a group of girlfriends. Something happened. I think it was because of me. And we didn’t hang out as much as the previous years. Also because each of us is getting busier with our own life. My boyfriend in 2014, I broke up with him in 2015. We’re still friends tho’, and we both agreed that it was best for us, no drama.

But, overall, 2015 was my best year so far. And to remind that before 2015 happened, 2014 was my best year, I can say, it’s a success already, because it means the year is always better than the previous year. In 2015, I’ve spent more times with people I love the most. It started with a little adventure in the very first day of 2015. I remember on January 1, 2015, I took the commuter line to the very end of the line, together with my parents and siblings. The trip wasn’t going well as we planned, but it was fun because we were together, and it was a very new thing for us. Yeah, a lot of new things happened to me last year.

A lot of new things happened in my business community. We had a new, so much better vendor, we moved to the new, so much better office, and we have a new, so much better system. There are some new things in the business and all were very good. I also made more than I did in 2014. Thank God!

And also, my business community introduced me to this so called ‘Escape Room’ thingy. Wow! It was really, really fun! I love it! It’s one of the best new things I’ve tried, not just last year, but for my whole life. Seriously! I love it! I played it 3 times last year. First on early May with my community, second with my lovely siblings and their lovers, and the last time was with my community again.

Another new thing is a visit to Greece! OMG! It was like a dream! Greece was the second country I want to visit the most after Italy. I’ve visited Italy twice and I haven’t been satisfied. I mean, I was very happy every time I visited Italy, but there are still so many place in Italy that I still need to visit. But I’ve visited Italy as I’ve always wanted. And in 2015, finally I’ve visited Greece as I’ve always wanted! The goals were visiting Japan and Greece. But well, of course I wanted to go to Greece more than Japan. No offense. It’s just personal taste. I love anything European more than anything American or Asian.

I went there with my family. I haven’t been to Europe in 2 years. So I was very happy when after all the dramas and the nightmare, we still went to Greece anyway. I went there with my parents and my sister. We went to Delphi, Athens, and Santorini. Both are very different places, both are great! The view in Delphi and Santorini were awesome! The temples and museums in Athens were awesome! The foods were great! The people were very, very nice, friendly, and helpful! The language… oh! Lovely! But, the best part is seeing my family happy. They look very, very happy. It was the best family trip I’ve ever had so far. I wish my brother was there tho’.

About my brother, and also my sister, great new things also happened to them in 2015. Finally my sister got a better job with better income, environment, and new experience in the job. So proud of you, sister! And my brother, finally he finished his own house! He started to live there in June or July 2015 I think. And the second great thing for him is, finally my parents gave him their permission to get married with his lovely girlfriend! We are all very happy! I mean, my brother really has a great taste in women. His girlfriend is totally a perfect wife-material! And we are already like a family. So I’m happy with them that finally they can get married. I don’t wanna talk too much about it tho’. I just wish everything goes well.

Speaking of getting married, one of my closest cousin also got married last year! OMG I’m so happy! They live in their own house, so, with their house and my brother’s house, we are now able to hang out till really, really drop! Yeah, before there were houses, we always hang out in café, and it’s either too far from our home town or in our home town but closed before 11 pm. Sucks, I know. With the houses, yeay! We could party all night!

Seriously! Last year was full of celebrations and happy moments with my family and friends! We had a perfect little Halloween party at my brother’s house, sleep over at my cousin’s house, BBQ party at my cousin’s house, Christmas party at my brother’s house, lots of birthday surprises and birthday celebrations, lots of sweet escapes, new places to visit, and the last one was the new year’s eve! I was very upset because I thought I wouldn’t celebrate with my family. My parents were still in Jogja since before Christmas. But it turned out that we celebrated together! My parents weren’t there, but I was with the Halloween team minus my BFF. Damn! 2015 was crazy! Especially with my family and my business community.

Now, what I want to achieve in 2016 are:

1) Finish writing a book and at least 5 short stories. I meant to make a short stories collection with the Great War as the setting. I was obsessed with the Great War because it has became very underrated since the Second World War started. Look at all those movie about world war. Almost all of them are about the Second World War. There are even more movies about the third world war than the Great War. So, yeah, gonna need lots and lots of Rudyard Kipling’s. And the book I wanna write, it’s still secret. I’ve told the big idea to some people since two years ago, but haven’t really start to write it.

2) I wanna paint something: something that means a lot to me, something that will make me feel totally satisfied when I finish it. I already have some ideas in mind.

3) I wanna have income 12 times higher than what I have now. I wanna pay for everything in the house, be the backbone of my family, taking care of my family.

4) I wanna visit Italy again. This time I wanna go to La Spezia, Firenze, Siena, Roma, and… that incredibly awesome Matera!! Oh God! Just to write this down my heart already pounding! I also wanna visit some other cities in other countries. But the main agenda is visiting Italy again after all these years. I friggin’ miss Italy, my favorite country ever! I speak better Italian then I did on my last visit, so…, yeah, it will be great! And hopefully, I could go with my family again. Actually, I just wanna go together, full team: me, Mom, Dad, my sister, her boyfriend, my brother, and his soon-to-be fiancé. It doesn’t have to be Italy, but I still have to go to Italy, with or without my family.

5) And…, still I wanna speak Spanish, Portuguese, French, German, and Dutch fluently! Is it possible? Yes it is! Come on! Be optimistic!

There! Those are my new year’s resolutions. Now let’s ride!

This time of the year

Wednesday, December 31, 2014

So here we are, again, in the end of another year.

2014 was pretty much something for me. There are a lot of big things happened, in the world, in my country, in my life, all around me; so much plot twist and drama and stuff.

For me, 2014 is about:
1. World Cup Brazil of course!
2. The Election!

I've made enough posts about the World Cup, so I wanna write a little about the election. I didn't write much, if not none, about the president election. It was a very sensitive topic and there are already too many people commenting about the election. They mostly are biased of course. Some people even fight just because of supporting different candidates.

Why was it so special?
After the reformation, there have been 3 elections where the president is directly chosen by the people. On 2004 and 2009 most people were rooting for SBY. They loved him. Some other people were rooting for the other candidates, and some were fanatics too. But nobody was fighting over their favorite candidates! Well, maybe some people, but not so many.

But the election this year was... crazy! Crazy, man! For the first time, people were really rooting for one of the candidates, and they do believe in their favorite. And unlike the elections before, this year we only had two candidates, and both have soooo many, soooo fanatic supporters, or maybe I could say... fans.
Those candidates were like rock stars. And people keep on fighting. Even after one candidate was chosen as the new president, the other candidate's fans are still fighting to change the election result, and still trying so hard to find any weakness from the new government. That is sick man!

But somehow, I'm kinda proud of it. I'm proud of us, Indonesians. This year, I saw Indonesian people are more concern about politics. Of course there are still pragmatist and pessimistic people. But at least more people care about the future of this country.

So, let's see. I wish the new government could do better in 2015.

But what about me myself? What happened to me in 2014?

What were my goals in the beginning of this year? Here's what I posted back then.

http://astaripahlevisdiary.blogspot.com/2013/12/happy-new-year-this-year-goals-and-late.html

First, am I 48 kg? Nope. I'm a bit heavier than that. But I'm still 163cm, and I'm fit, I guess... so I got that going for me, which is nice. On 2014 I tried some sport. Nothing new. I played futsal again but stopped again. I tried some exercise at home, tried some diet and stuff, but always end up bored and get back to laziness and gluttony. Oh my...
Yeah, I'll fix it next year.

How many languages do I speak now? Ugh.. Yeah besides Indonesia and English, of course. My Italian is so much improved, you know. I could say... 3 levels better. On the other side, I forgot sooo... much about my Spanish. I could say, now it is worse. Portuguese, French, German? Still no improvement.

So maybe I took the wrong method of learning. I was too ambitious, trying to learn five languages at the same time. And also, I really need friends to practice. We can't learn languages without practice. So far, I can't say I speak those languages. Even Spanish. Two weeks ago my friends and I went to a Spanish restaurant in south Jakarta, which the owner is Spanish, and I got a chance to talk to him, but I needed time to understand what the chef said.

Did I visit Japan or Greece? Nope. But I'll visit Greece on May 2015. Yeah I forgot to mention Greece on my goals.

Did I produce any masterpiece? Nope. Publish my first novel? Nope. Earn 500% more money? Nope.
Am I at least better than last year? Have I done better this year?

Well, I can say I've done better. I improved my Italian, started to learn Greek and Japanese, ready to travel to Greece next year, not produce any masterpiece, but I made pretty much satisfying sketches, it is something, you know. I haven't publish my first novel, but I already finished writing one. Uhm, well, almost. I didn't earn 500% more money, but I did earn more money, I produce more than last year, so it is also something, isn't it?

And about that spending time with special ones. I think, on 2014, I spent so much time with the people I love: my family, my new friends and old friends, and my special one. I spent time with my mom, dad, sister, and brother as much as I could. We really had fun this year. We didn't do anything special, just being together and enjoy our time. I also spent pretty much time with my cousins. Usually after office hour we hang out at a cafe near my house.

I spent more time with my closest friends, my best friends, my new interesting friends, even old friends that I've never seen or talk to for years.

For the special one part... that is another thing.

In the beginning of the year, I planned to spend enough time with the one who was my special one. But we broke up instead, very early of the year. So I thought, "Ah well, I'm not good at this relationship shit, I'm done with this. No relationship ever again!"

I thought at least it would need a long time for me to finally have another relationship. But... I met someone. And I think I really like my new relationship. Our relationship might not be ideal, but I really enjoy it. We have the same way of thinking, mostly. No drama, no complicated thingy, no jealousy, no fight. Well, there were no jealousy either with my last ex. And I'm not sure if no fight is a good sign, but I just enjoy a relationship like I'm having now. And we spent enough time for our standard. So again, we got that going for us, which is nice.

So I might be failing to reach my goals, but overall, yeah, I could say 2014 was better than 2013. And I wish 2015 would be so much better. Since I haven't really reach my goals, my goals for 2015 are still pretty much the same.

Happy New Year: This Year Goals and Late Last Year Annual Review

January 1, 2014 --> yeay! first post!

Good morning everyone! Happy new year!

Okay, so it’s been a happy new year so far. Guess what! I just went around my neighborhood and no one was around! I know everyone has been celebrating new year like really, really big, and they must have been staying all night till morning. So I’m pretty sure they’re not gonna wake up until noon. Well, hope so. It was really fun taking my dog for a walk with no one around.

It’s kinda late to write some annual review, but here’s my annual review.

My business didn’t go very well last year. I lost the most precious team I ever had. And it was all my fault. I’m totally gonna make it up this year. so I’m not gonna talk so much about business. And it’s my privacy anyway.

But last year was all about love. Maybe some things didn’t work really well last year, but I had a very happy year. I had a wonderful year, wonderful moments with my family, friends, and lovers.

I spent so much time with my family and I really enjoyed it. Last year was full of traveling for my family. Well, I didn’t go to Europe last year like the years before. But I traveled more! And most of the times with my family. And when we were not traveling, we hung out together, just went around, had dinner together.

Let me tell you something. I’m not a good family member. I have the perfect family but I hardly appreciate them. I got wonderful friends and lovers too. But I never appreciate them like last year. Big things happened and I realized how much they all mean to me. They’ve been very loving and caring to me.

You know, I’ve been a very cold-hearted person, arrogant, and used to think that I don’t need anyone. But last year I was attending some… let’s say… seminar, and the speaker asked the audiences if anyone ever hurt us. We had to tell the name, or names, of anyone ever hurt us, then forgive them. I tried so hard to think of a name, but I couldn’t think of any name. Then suddenly I realized, the only thing makes me never appreciate the loves people gave to me, is how easily I got the loves. If love is money, then I’m like a rich kid that never appreciates money because the parents keep showering the kid with money.

So I started to appreciate love, and everything that I have. And I feel so happy.

And I met someone. I won’t tell you much about this special one because it’s kinda privacy, don’t you think? But I’m gonna tell you what makes this person so special to me. When we’re together, we can really talk about things. We can talk about anything. Yes, I have best friends like that too, but it’s different. It’s unexplainable. We love each other for the reasons that make us love each other. This kinda thing is really new for me, so I thought of leaving so many times, but… we just belong together. And this relationship has given me sooo many new knowledge of life. I learnt a lot about happiness. So, I wanna thank you, my one and only… J

Last year has been a roller coaster to me. I love it! I love roller coaster! Yeaaa!

And now I’m gonna make my goals for this year.

This is the goal:

Well, can I?

YES! I can! I'm 100% sure!
I've made a very tight schedule to reach all my goals. So..., let's see!