Just an old piece I once wrote

Everytime anyone asks me to marry him (no, no one is asking me recently, it just randomly popped out in my mind), I always ask myself, do I love him as much as I love my dad? How do I know?

I imagine three things:
1. Something bad happened to him and caused him to lose both of his legs: would I still be there and take care of him for the rest of our life?

2. We were in a car accident, the car is about to explode, and he was unconscious: would I just get the hell outta the car and save my ass before the car explodes, or would I bother trying to save him, trying to drag him outta the car with a risk of being blown up together?

3. Someone (on purpose or not) shot a bullet at him: would I take the bullet for him? Would I heroically jump in front of him?

So yeah, I always imagine those three things to really know if I really love someone. Has the answer been a yes? Nope. Except for number 3. Sometimes the answer is yes. When someone shot him, yes, I'd heroically jump in front of him. But only if he was shot from the back! So basically I was just covering myself! Lol!

But actually, if I really love him as much as I love my dad, I wouldn't even dare to imagine anything bad happen to him.

Am I an idealistic for thinking this way? Well, I mean, if I ever said yes to a proposal, it would mean a lot! It would mean that I've gotta share my life with him. I would have to live under the same roof with him! I would have to share dreams and goals with him. And if our dreams a bit different, we've got to compromise. It's freaking huge!

Yeah, actually, if you're about to marry someone, you have to make sure that you both share the same vision, mission, dreams, and goals. Because that's kinda the whole point, isn't it?

So, for selfless people, their goals most probably are having a happy family with a kid or more, raise the kids together, grow old together while keep making each other happy.

But what about people like me, with very personal goals? I wanna publish books, travel the world, learn languages, study interesting things just because, save the animals and the environment. Yeah it is easy to find a man who is wealthy and ready to make a family. And maybe also happens to have a good genes to make beautiful children. But a true partner in achieving bigger goals..., not so much.

Point is, marriage is a HUGE commitment. It won't always be easy. And whether you are willing to do it or not, you will have to be there in the worst moments, because you'd have promised him for better or worse.

If you love him or her because he or she is beautiful, imagine if something happened to that beautiful face. What if he/she became deformed? Would you still love her? And if you think you'll still love him/her because now he/she has great personality, remember that the personality could change when something really bad happened. They might become mad, depressed, and yell at you all the time.

My father just told me about the last days of one of my aunts' husband. He was one of the nicest husband ever. He was smart, caring, and willing to do everything for his wife. But when he was old and sick, he was unable to do anything, and he lost lots of memories. He forgot almost everything, and he became so furious most of the time.

You will not need to sacrifice for love. People might see whatever you did for your loved ones as a sacrifice, but you just do it for yourself, because all you want to do is making your loved one happy.

Okay, maybe it's hard to love someone as much as I love my dad, mom, brother or sister

Circle K dan Etimologi Kata 'Tenggat

Rabu, 14 Juni 2017

Ada apakah dengan Circle K?

Circle K depan komplek rumah gue tutup. Udah itu aja.

Sedih sih. Banyak kenangan sama Circle K depan rumah. Dulu, tahun 2009, pertama kali gue dan keluarga menempati rumah ini, Circle K itu adalah sumber kebahagiaan kami, selain warteg belakang rumah.

Asli deh! Dulu di sekitar komplek ini masih sepi banget. Belum ada tuh Roti Bakar Edi, Alfa Mart, Indomart, PSY, Mie Ceker, dan tempat-tempat makan lain yang bikin macet itu. FYI, di komplek ini jarang banget ada tukang makanan lewat. Ya ada sih sebenernya, cuma jarang, nggak sesering di rumah lama. Di rumah lama, segala macem tukang makanan lewat. Ada bakso, sate… (udah kaya Obama belom?), bakpau, putu, roti, roti Lauw, jagung bakar, nasi goreng, mie tektek, mie dokdok, ketoprak, bubur ayam, susu kedelai, susu pengalengan, sate padang! Sate padang aja ada!

Sementara, di rumah yang sekarang…

Duh, rumahku yang sekarang, maaf ya aku banding-bandingin kamu sama mantan. Aku tau kok, rasanya nggak enak dibanding-bandingin sama mantan.

Intinya, di rumah ini, yang konsisten lewat cuma ketoprak, roti, sama sayur. Ada juga sih mie ayam, tapi nggak enak. Sama kadang-kadang tukang putu lewat kalo amalan penghuni rumah ini lagi baik.

Jadi, dulu itu, Circle K depan rumah bagaikan oasis di tengah padang pasir yang membentang seluas samudra sedalam lautan. Apa sih? Singkat kata, sangatlah membantu kehidupan rumah tangga kami. Dari beli roti, pop mie, kornet, sampai peralatan mandi, semuanya bisa didapatkan di Circle K! Kunjungi Circle K sekarang juga! Eh udah tutup deng. Lupa, malah ngiklan.

Sampe akhirnya daerah sekitar rumah kami udah penuh dengan jajanan pun, Circle K tetap jadi sumber kebahagiaan kecil kami. Yang paling penting sih, di dalemnya ada ATM BCA. Sumpah itu ngebantu banget! Sekarang ATM BCA terdekat nggak ada yang bisa dijangkau dengan modal kaki doang. Minimal lo mesti punya sepeda. Itu pun udah ngos-ngosan. Eh, nggak juga sih, cuman mager aja.

Terus gue sering banget beli snickers di sana. Nggak pernah cek sih, di Indomart sama Alfa Mart ada apa nggak. Terus ada cookies yang ada cornflakes-nya itu, sumpah enak banget! Gue pertama kali makan kue itu gara-gara sahabat kesayangan gue yang sekarang udah tobat jadi gue takut deket-deket, takut keseret. Tapi tetep aja kue itu penuh kenangan. Kenang-kenangan pas kita masih sama-sama di jalan yang sesat.

Yang paling berkesan adalah… gue selalu bisa ngajak Bulbul dan Joey ke Circle K itu. Mereka bakal dengan setianya nunggu di depan pintu kaca, duduk, nggak bergerak, sampe gue keluar dari Circle K. Setelah Bulbul nggak ada, tiap gue ke Circle K gue masih bisa ngebayangin Bulbul lagi nungguin di depan pintu, duduk manis dengan lidah menjulur keluar, dengan mata innocent-nya.

Dan sekarang Circle K itu tutup.

Nggak ada lagi ATM BCA yang bisa dijangkau dengan jalan kaki.

Nggak ada lagi anjing yang setia menanti.

Nggak ada lagi tempat alay nongkrong sampai pagi.

#BiarPuitisAe

Nah, sekarang, apa hubungannya kah Circle K yang tutup dengan etimologi kata ‘tenggat’?

Nggak ada.

Ya, apa hubungannya? Nggak ada kan?

Maksudnya adalah, di tulisan kali ini gue akan menulis tentang dua hal: 1. Circle K tutup, dan 2. Etimologi Kata ‘Tenggat’. Udah sih gitu aja. Tapi judulnya mayan menjual kan? Bikin-bikin penasaran gimana, gitu. Ya nggak sih? Nggak ya?

Oke. Etimologi kata ‘tenggat’.

Akhir-akhir ini gue emang lagi terobsesi banget sama bahasa. Bahkan gue bikin blog baru khusus membahas bahasa dan sejarahnya. Cek deh www.mylittlelanguagecorner.blogspot.com

Yeay promosi lagi kan gue!

Nah, pagi ini, pas lagi jalan-jalan, tiba-tiba gue punya ide, kira-kira dari manakah asal kata ‘tenggat’?

‘Tenggat’, dalam Kamus Besar Bahasa Indonesia, memiliki arti ‘batas waktu’.

Contoh kalimat: Hari ini merupakan tenggat penyerahan data calon mantu kepada orangtua.

Kata ‘tenggat’, alias ‘batas waktu’, alias ‘deadline’, alias ‘time limit’, adalah waktu di saat kita harus mengumpulkan sesuatu atau selesai mengerjakan atau melakukan sesuatu.

Nah, apakah yang orang katakan saat, setelah berkerja keras dalam kurun waktu yang mungkin mingguan, bulanan, tahunan, bahkan puluhan tahun, akhirnya berhasil juga menyelesaikan pekerjaannya?

THANK GOD!!

Thank God, baca: theng gad.

Theng gad > thenggad > tenggat

Masuk akal?

Bercanda yah guys! Serius amat! Kalo beneran mau tau etimologi seriusnya, ya googling aja sendiri. Hehe…

Maaf yah kalo postingan gue kali ini nggak bermutu dan nggak berfaedah. Kan emang biasanya nggak bermutu dan nggak berfaedah. Jadi udah maklum kan.

Ciao! Cabut dulu sebelum ditimpuk.

31 at Last

Sunday, June 11, 2017

Happy birthday to me!

Thirty something at last…

I’ve been very blessed.

I feel that I’m really blessed in every aspect of my life.

In the last month of my 30, I’ve done some things with great impact on my life.

Before I reached 31, I’ve spoken 3 languages and learned 6 more languages. The last was Greek. I finished learning the lesson a day before my birthday. I still need to practice a lot. Now at least I can write in 9 languages.

I’ve finally found another futsal team. Women team that plays weekly and full of futsal stars with great talent. I’ve left this sport for years because lack of team. But now I’ve found the perfect futsal team. Thank God. It’s been a very long time since the last time I played, but I believe, if I kept practicing, I’d be better and better every day. But the point is, in the beginning of my 31, I’ve finally joined a team again!

I’ve met some new friends, new communities, and I really love them, my friends and communities. To the people I just met, yes, every single one of you, I just wanna say, it’s truly nice to know all of you!

What else?

Okay. I’ve done something that… well, this one, I’m not sure if it was good or bad for our life, was it the right thing to do, or would make things even more complicated, but, I tried to clear things with the one. I’ve done some big mistake in the past, but now we both seem to be happy and in perfect condition, so I think it’s time to forgive myself. Dear my Ftkqp Dekbvknw, my owl, my hypothetically twin flame, if you happened to read this, well, you know, you’re still and always will be my one and only. I’ve closed my heart for anyone else. This heart is already yours.

Sorry if it sounds tacky and, I know, what the hell am I doing? Right? Writing about such personal thing on my blog?

But first, I just wanna tell the one about my feelings, but not telling it directly like with private message or something, because… you know, you can’t just tell people about your feeling about them directly to them, I don’t know why. And when I said directly that I loved someone, but I didn’t wanna be together, what would that make me? An asshole? A jerk? Right? I don’t care. Asshole and proud!

And second, I just need to make some kinda announcement, so I wouldn’t have to argue with people who kept telling me I needed to get married or I haven’t found the love of my life. I have. And I still don’t wanna get married because I know for sure what I really want in life. Nobody can have me. And by the way… it’s none of your frickin business! Get a life, people!

And, last but the most important thing is, I’m so blessed with the most beautiful family. My dad, my mom, my sister, my brother, my brother’s wife, and my sister’s fiancé are very close and love each other. We’ve been spending plenty of beautiful times together, but also supporting each other in the worst time, like when our dog died two months ago. I feel so blessed to have all of them in my life. I feel so blessed that I could celebrate my birthday with them. My brother and his wife weren’t here and aren’t here yet. But we will celebrate together soon.

This year, for the first time after 11 years, I got to celebrate my birthday without my very bestfriend, Bulbul. I wish heaven was real and he was in heaven now, looking at me—or not, as long as he is happy. And, before he passed away, he had found me another beautiful dog, Joey. Now Joey fills our house with love.

I also thank all of my new friends and old friends for their birthday wishes. It means a lot to me. I know I’m not good at maintaining relationship. I wish I would be able to fix that sooner or later.

Okay, that’s it for my birthday.

Oh, and don’t forget to check on my latest blog: www.mylittlelanguagecorner.blogspot.com

That’s the other thing I’ve made before 31.

Ciao!

The Most Personal Thing I've Ever Shared

Sunday, June 4, 2017

I miss talking about mathematics philosophy and sending cheesy messages with our own encrypted text. With that specific person.

What went wrong, really?

I remember that time when I prayed that one day I'd regret giving up on my one true love for the sake of my freedom.

Why did I make such wish in the first place? Well... Coz I need some drama, maybe? Coz I was curious of what a heartbreak feels like?

One conversation about soulmate vs twin flame and boom! Voila! Here comes the drama I was asking for.

I don't want to get back together. I know for sure I'd just do the same mistake over and over again. But I kinda miss us. No, I really, really miss us. But that most probably is just because we're not together. It's normal to miss or want something we're not recently having. Maybe it's just that.

Anyway, I refused to compromise and make  a little sacrifice by giving more of my time to spend together. So maybe it wasn't really twin flames anyway? Maybe it wasn't even love? Am I unable to love? Or am I just unable to spend enough time with the one I love?

Museum Kematian

Minggu, 21 Mei 2017

"Agapi" means "Love"

Hari ini kami nyekar ke makam Eyang di Tanah Kusir.

Macet.

Kenapa sih orang harus banget bela-belain nyekar sebelum puasa, termasuk nyokap gue ini?

Padahal nanti pas lebaran nyekar lagi.

Nggak ngerti.

Yah, namanya budaya, gimana lagi?

Tapi gue punya cara sendiri sih buat menikmati kunjungan rutin ke makam seperti ini.

Berkunjung ke makam itu bagaikan berkunjung ke museum. Iya, museum nisan.

Apa yang gue cari di sana?

Gue liatin tanggal-tanggal lahir mereka. Gue cari, mana yang umurnya paling panjang. Gue nggak pernah nyatet dan nggak pernah inget hasil pencarian gue dari tahun ke tahun. Tapi rekor gue hari ini, ketemu orang yang meninggal di usia 92 tahun. Seinget gue dulu pernah nemu yang meninggal usia 100 sekian tahun.

Terus gue juga selalu nyari makam tertua di sana.

Gue tau apa yang ada di pikiran lo. Kenapa gue nggak googling aja kapan TPU tanah kusir dibangun?

Gih googling. Paling lo nemu berita-berita tanah kusir kebanjiran. Tapi kalo ada yang nemu, please let me know. Sumpah gue penasaran nggak penting.

Berikutnya adalah, orang-orang yang meninggal di usia muda. Ada yang belum 40, belum 20, belum 10 tahun, bahkan ada yang masih balita, bahkan masih bayi.

Terus kadang-kadang gue suka nemu juga makam-makam yang berjajar dengan tanggal kematian yang sama. Berarti ada kejadian di hari itu, tragedi yang menewaskan mereka.

Nah, hari ini gue dan adek gue nggak sengaja nemu sederet nisan yang meninggalnya sama-sama muda, dan hampir barengan. Ada tiga orang, usianya 14, 12, sama 29. Terus kita baru nyadar, ternyata di nisan mereka ada tulisannya: Pahlawan Ampera. Nah, gue jadi penasaran tuh, ada kejadian apakah tahun segitu? Apakah Pahlawan Ampera itu?

Terus di bagian makam lain, gue nemu sederet nisan yang meninggalnya sama-sama tanggal 3 februari 1981. Dan ada benderanya, yang menandakan mereka itu pejuang. Ada apakah tahun segitu? Gue pun googling, dan malah nemu kasus pembajakan pesawat Woyla 1981.

Ya itulah kenapa gue bilang makam itu bagaikan museum. Ada pelajaran sejarah di sana.

Terus, sebelum akhirnya pulang, gue nemu makam yang bagus, rapi, dan ada quote-nya.

Gue jarang-jarang nemu makam kaya gitu. Jadi tadi gue foto.

Gue selalu mikir, gimana bumi nggak makin penuh kalo orang lebih banyak yang lahir daripada yang meninggal, udah gitu yang meninggal masih makan tempat juga. Jadi gue maunya kalo sudah saatnya nanti, gue sumbangin semua organ gue yang masih bagus, terus sisa jasad gue dikubur tanpa nisan sampe jasad gue ilang sepenuhnya, dan terserah di atas situ mau dibangun rumah, stadion, taman bermain, sekolah, pokoknya udah meninggal sih meninggal aja, jasad gue diapain juga gue udah nggak ngerasa apa-apa kan?

Tapi, hipokritnya gue sebagai manusia normal adalah, gue rasa kalo orangtua gue sendiri, gue pun akan memakamkan dengan 'layak', dengan makam indah, terawat, dan bisa gue kunjungi setiap saat. Bahkan mungkin akan gue desain sendiri nisan dan kata-katanya.

Yah, gitulah pemikiran-pemikiran yang sering muncul saat berkunjung ke makam. Salah satunya, jadi diingatkan kembali kalau suatu hari maut akan memisahkan gue dengan orang-orang yang gue sayang. Dan itu membuat gue lebih menghargai hidup dan waktu yang gue punya dengan mereka.

Farrokh Bulsara and Josephine March

Thursday, February 23, 2017

Farrokh 'Bulbul' Bulsara and Josephine 'Joey' March

Just like a concept that is made up after a randomly-created creation, these cuties have been Bulbul and Joey before they were Farrokh Bulsara and Josephine March.

*
Farrokh Bulsara:

When I adopted him, I wanted to name him with much cuter and better name. He is my first dog. I had always dreamt of naming my first dog something like.. okay I can't even remember what the cute names were.

But when I took Bulbul home, my dad insisted to call him Bulbul. So, Bulbul it is. I was disappointed in that name, but later on, I found that it could actually be from 'Farrokh Bulsara'.

Even though my favorite band is Led Zeppelin (and I still wish I could name my future dog Bonzo), I've always been a big fan of Farrokh Bulsara, or Freddie Mercury. I think, he's the best vocalist ever, the best performer ever, the best front man ever, and one of the most genius musicians ever! I mean.... come on! Those songs created and sung by him are just... f***ing insane!

Btw, I've always loved that name, Farrokh Bulsara. It sounds exotic. Even though I have never been sure if I wanted a kid, I've always wanted to name my son Farrokh Bulsara. That, or Salvatore, or Marius Pontmercy, or Karac Pendragon (no, they're not my passwords for any accounts).

So, yeah I started to secretly name my dog Farrokh Bulsara, and now I guess it's just not a secret anymore. Bulbul, or Farrokh Bulsara, always makes me emotional by any means, just like Freddie Mercury's songs.

*
Josephine March:

Since Joey was adopted from her former owner who has abandoned her, her name was given by her former owner. So, yeah, of course the complete name Josephine March came after.

Josephine March from 'Little Women', a character that is based on Louisa May Alcott herself.

Yes, I used to love that book before I became more of a Mario Puzo's fan. It's almost the same, except that Beth didn't die in an exploding car, and Jo didn't have to avenge Beth's death, and Jo didn't kill Amy for their rivalry. No one's gonna understand this joke because I guess no one is a fan of 'The Godfather' and 'Little Women' at the same time.

Anyway, just like Jo, my baby Joey is not as pretty as a female dog should be. She's boyish, stubborn, and hot-headed, but very intelligent and brave.

In 'Little Women', Josephine March is called 'Jo'. But, Josephine Potter in the 90's TV series 'Dawson's Creek' is also named from Josephine March, and she's called Joey instead of Jo. And she's also boyish, intelligent, and hot-headed just like Jo and my Joey.

And btw, I can always relate with Jo from 'Little Women' and Joey from 'Dawson's Creek' because they both love writing, and 'Dawson's Creek' Joey even loves to sketch too!

Keel’s Simple Diary: Day 3

Date: Thursday, February 09, 2017

Your day was (only choose one): ( ) lazy    (v) imaginative   ( ) good to go

Explain why:

This didn’t really start as a good day. But my day was a hell only for a few minutes, and then… the rest of the day was so peaceful.

So today I’m totally home alone. I mean, I have my dogs, but I’m the only human here. So I really enjoy today. I have the best me–time ever! So the day turned to be imaginative. I created things, even when I was in the bathroom taking shower. I made some raw sketches on the bathroom wall with black shampoo.

What else did I do today? I did my language learning, I made some sketches, I ate delicious food and enjoyed focusing on my food while eating. So many –gasm moment today.

Oh, and lately I’ve been reading some articles about prehistoric Europe. I started with the Palaeolithic Europe. It’s very interesting. I used to be so obsessed with the prehistoric human back in junior high. Then I was interested in so many other things. And now I’m back to my old obsession.

An essential thing you reject without reflection:

Hmm… very hard question to answer. I mean…, why would I reject essential thing? If I reject things, that means those things are not essential. That simple.

“Love is a wonderful thing and things are wonderful.”

Agree.

An army of:                                                                     A couple of:

Tennis balls                                                                     Trophies

Bottled water                                                                 Dry countries

Sad things                                                                        Great stories

Cool inventions                                                              Honorable mentions

New business                                                                 Accidental cruelties

Butter and soap                                                             Musicals and operas

Rude flies                                                                        Donuts

New evidence                                                                Nice old guys

Yeah, I don’t know what to do with the lists. Whatever. But, speaking of tennis balls, it reminds me that my brother needs some tennis balls. We do need it because he already bought a pair of rackets and we’ve been wanting to try to play tennis.