To Cheat or not to Cheat

Saturday, January 20, 2018

Are you a cheater?

You’re probably not, or just don’t realize that you are.

When someone is in an exclusive/monogamous relationship or a marriage, and he/she had sex, kissed, dated, or even just had a feeling for someone else, it is cheating. The person is called a cheater. Pretty simple. So, are you?

Look, I don’t hate cheaters. I don’t judge them. We can’t judge them.

We have to know the ‘why’. Why are they cheating? There would be so many reasons.

Maybe they’re bored with their partners, because their partners are boring, or because they just got bored easily.

Maybe, they love their partners, they’ve loved their partners, but they don’t think their partners appreciated them enough. Yeah, the word ‘love’ is very debatable here. But, you know what I mean.

Maybe they do love their partners, but they also love someone else. We can love, or be emotionally or sexually interested to multiple people. It’s possible, just not allowed. We are not naturally monogamous. Monogamous relationship is just a concept we created centuries ago, because we’re selfish, and, even tho we ourselves can’t be monogamous, our ego can’t stand sharing our loved ones with others. Very selfish? Yep, that’s who we are.

Maybe, they don’t even love their partners in the first place. Maybe it was an arranged marriage. Maybe they were young and impulsive, and they just got married, but it was a mistake. Maybe, for one or another reason, they must get married (in Indonesia, most people still think that if you knocked a woman up, you should marry her, for the sake of reputation thing). So, these two people don’t love each other, or don’t anymore, but they have to be together, because they’ve promised to.

So they cheat.

No reason makes cheating acceptable or unacceptable.

Here’s the thing. Are we a cheater?

Why do we stay doing the thing we don’t love? Our heart is loving something else. It wants something else so bad, yet we can’t just let the unloved one go.

Some people have to do what they don’t want to do, what they don’t love, just because they have to. They need the money, they need the financial stability, they need to survive, they’re afraid, if they leave this job they don’t love, and the other job they love don’t make money for them, they can’t get the old job back.

Are you a cheater?

The way I see it, it’s not wrong. It’s just unhealthy. Cheating is unhealthy.

We want more than one thing/person/job and we just can’t be honest about it. We have to lie. We have to hide something. Sometimes, we have to hide so many things. We have to fake it.

Or, you know, we can have it all, but it might as well to difficult to handle at the same time, and we might end up with nothing instead.

I can totally understand cheaters. I mean, come on! We don’t put our eggs in one basket. We need plan B, plan C, plan D.

I understand why we lie, because I’m lying too.

To cheat or not to cheat is not as easy as you think.