To Cheat or not to Cheat

Saturday, January 20, 2018

Are you a cheater?

You’re probably not, or just don’t realize that you are.

When someone is in an exclusive/monogamous relationship or a marriage, and he/she had sex, kissed, dated, or even just had a feeling for someone else, it is cheating. The person is called a cheater. Pretty simple. So, are you?

Look, I don’t hate cheaters. I don’t judge them. We can’t judge them.

We have to know the ‘why’. Why are they cheating? There would be so many reasons.

Maybe they’re bored with their partners, because their partners are boring, or because they just got bored easily.

Maybe, they love their partners, they’ve loved their partners, but they don’t think their partners appreciated them enough. Yeah, the word ‘love’ is very debatable here. But, you know what I mean.

Maybe they do love their partners, but they also love someone else. We can love, or be emotionally or sexually interested to multiple people. It’s possible, just not allowed. We are not naturally monogamous. Monogamous relationship is just a concept we created centuries ago, because we’re selfish, and, even tho we ourselves can’t be monogamous, our ego can’t stand sharing our loved ones with others. Very selfish? Yep, that’s who we are.

Maybe, they don’t even love their partners in the first place. Maybe it was an arranged marriage. Maybe they were young and impulsive, and they just got married, but it was a mistake. Maybe, for one or another reason, they must get married (in Indonesia, most people still think that if you knocked a woman up, you should marry her, for the sake of reputation thing). So, these two people don’t love each other, or don’t anymore, but they have to be together, because they’ve promised to.

So they cheat.

No reason makes cheating acceptable or unacceptable.

Here’s the thing. Are we a cheater?

Why do we stay doing the thing we don’t love? Our heart is loving something else. It wants something else so bad, yet we can’t just let the unloved one go.

Some people have to do what they don’t want to do, what they don’t love, just because they have to. They need the money, they need the financial stability, they need to survive, they’re afraid, if they leave this job they don’t love, and the other job they love don’t make money for them, they can’t get the old job back.

Are you a cheater?

The way I see it, it’s not wrong. It’s just unhealthy. Cheating is unhealthy.

We want more than one thing/person/job and we just can’t be honest about it. We have to lie. We have to hide something. Sometimes, we have to hide so many things. We have to fake it.

Or, you know, we can have it all, but it might as well to difficult to handle at the same time, and we might end up with nothing instead.

I can totally understand cheaters. I mean, come on! We don’t put our eggs in one basket. We need plan B, plan C, plan D.

I understand why we lie, because I’m lying too.

To cheat or not to cheat is not as easy as you think.

I am so Excited!

Saturday, January 20, 2018

Day 13: What are you excited about?

Conversations. Interesting ones at least.

Conversations about things I didn't know before. Conversations that give me information. The importance of the information is relative. What is important to me may not be important for others.

You know what I'm not excited about? Writing this. I'm getting bored with this challenge.

But wait, speaking of excitement, me and my sister went to our brother's house last night. My brother and his wife picked me up at home, then we went to pick my sister up at the station. She just got back from work. We ate at KFC, bought some snacks and milk at Total, spent time with our parents for a while, and then we went to brother's house.

What was so exciting?

Well, me, my siblings, and my brother's wife, were planning our trip to... I can't share the detail. But hint: it's the best place on earth for me.

So I was very excited. We were all very excited about the trip. I'm still very excited now.

And that's what I am soooo... excited about.

I just realized that I've been so blessed

Friday, January 19, 2018

Day 12: Five Blessings in My Life

1. My unconventional way of thinking
Or maybe, unconsciously, I'm basically just a pretentious hipster.
But I'm happy that I'm not like most people. I'm not better than most people. My way of thinking can limit me from  some certain things. And sometimes I just can't get most people's logic and it's kinda annoying. So, no, it's not about which one is better. But you have to feel blessed for the way you think. It affects the way you live your life, the choices you make, the people you're surrounding yourself with, and so on.
You should feel blessed for the way you think, or else, you'd change your way of think, right?

2. The chance to do what I've done and to visit the places I've visited
I don't travel as much as I really want to, and have been very complaining about that. I haven't done many things on my or anyone's things-to-do-before-die list. But I feel blessed and grateful to ever had the chance to be in some places and to do some things.
Italy, Greece, and Brazil are the three countries I've always wanted to visit, in that order. I've been to two of those three countries. Maybe it's nothing for most people. But I feel so grateful about that. I still want to visit them again and again, and sometimes I got sad because I miss them, but come on! I've been there!
I've always wanted to talk to a non-english-speaking foreigner in their language, and I've done it, multiple times!
I've always wanted to learn foreign languages. Now there are many free applications and programs that I can use to learn any language I want.
I've seen some cool animals, I've been bitten by a tegu. It was a pretty cool experience.
I've always wanted a football or futsal team, now I have one. I've always wanted to try wall climbing, because I've always loved to climb anything, and I've tried. I haven't published any books, but I've known how it feels to write something that people love, because I've written some, and people have read some.

3. My physical condition
I'm not the healthiest person, but hey, I still have two functional hands, two functional legs, two functional eyes, two functional ears. I can walk, I can breathe, I can see the beauties around me, I can hear the music, I still have my memory.

4. This country and neighborhood I live in
To be honest, I hate so many things about this country, especially most of its people and their hypocritical values. I also hate about the city where my office is. But overall, I still feel lucky that this country is not at war. We live in peace, even though we're at some kinda stupid war in the social media. And I love the neighborhood I live in. I have the most wonderful neighbors. They're really nice. They're the kindest people. Even the kids are very nice.

5. My family, friends, and social life
It might sound so cliche, but my family is the greatest blessing I've had in my life. They might not perfect, but they're the best for me!
My dad is a family man whose always choose his family over everything. He really enjoys hanging out with his children and siblings.
Honestly, my mom is a kind of person that I cannot stand, but as a mother, she's amazing! She'd do anything for her children. She's like Cersei. Maybe that's why I hate Cersei so much. I'm not always in a good relationship with my mother, but I don't hate my mother. We know we love each other. I think she's great. She can always support her children in any possible way. She'd do literally anything for us.
My sister and brother are the best siblings in the world. I don't know how they could love a sister like me, but they do love me. Spending time with them is the best feeling in the world, even better than being alone. I still need to be alone sometimes tho'.
My brother's wife and my sister's fiancé are the best people to add into our family. They're like my own brother and sister. My brother and sister are really smart when it comes to choosing a lifetime partner. So proud of them.
I have many cousins too, and aunts, uncles, nieces, and nephews, and when I'm around them I feel so blessed.
I have a lot of friends too. I've always been a loner. I didn't have any friends until I was 14. I'm still a loner until now. But somehow I still have good friends. I mean, they're very good too me even though I'm not really a good friend to them. I'm surrounded by love and trust. Some would say, you could only have a few best friends, but I have a lot of people that I would call best friends, because they're always there when I need them.
Trust me, I'm doing my best to do the same in return. One of the biggest reasons why I should have financial freedom is to have enough time, energy, and money to spend with them, to make them happy, and to help them when they're in need.

So, those are the five blessings in my life. I'm so blessed.

I really wonder, what have I done to deserve all of these blessings?

I've been complaining like a spoilt brat. Yes, I don't have everything I want. But I have almost everything I need. I just need to remind myself over and over again that, even though I'm still far from rich, my life is actually really good.

Thank God.

What If

Thursday, January 18, 2018

Day 11: Something I always think "what if..." about

This one is easy.

I always think what if I had a financial freedom? What if money was never a problem? What if I didn't have to work anymore?

Yeah that's the most beautiful 'what if' scenario.

I could visit any place I wanted, not just alone, but with my family and friends! I mean, I wouldn't make it like a tour. I could travel all the time. One month I traveled alone, the other month I traveled with my family, the next month I traveled with one group of friends, the next month I traveled with other group of friends, and so on.

I would be able to visit my relatives all around the world. The ones in Switzerland, the ones in The Netherlands, the ones in Belgium, the ones in Australia, and of course I could easily visit my family in Jogja, Semarang, and Bali anytime I wanted. Damn I miss them all.

I would be able to go to any school and learn anything I wanted. I would learn philosophy in a year, then learn astronomy the next year. I would learn about any kinda history I wanted. I might as well figure out the missing link!

I would definitely learn any language I wanted. I'd learn at least two languages a year, and not with aps, not with courses, but with the native speakers in their own countries. I'd learn languages while traveling.

I would be a linguist! I would learn about the history of languages. I would figure out historical facts from the evolution of languages!

I would make a forest! I would plant as many trees as the rest of the world cut every year. I would have the most unique, playful, eco-friendly house. I'd have my own recycling machine. I'd only use the most eco-friendly products, I'd even make ones if I had to. I'd use solar panel and any other eco-friendly technology for my house.

I would make the best animal shelter in the world. I would save any animals I found! Yeah there would be so much double standards there, because I would still hate some animals like cockroaches and cicak (Cosymbotus platyurus), the most disgusting creature in the world. I don't even hate reptile. I only hate cicak!

Anyway, yeah it sounds hypocritical that I wanted to only save selected animals. But I'd do whatever I wanted. That's the point.

I would write, I would paint, I would design, I would create things. I would learn to play any music instrument I wanted. Drum would definitely be the first. I would have a jam session with my brother, cousins, friends.

I would collect classic cars and motorcycles. I already have my list. I would collect bicycles and skateboards too.

I would play futsal, football (soccer), American football, basketball, hockey, ice hockey, baseball, maybe even cricket! I would play any game I wanted anytime I wanted!

I would have my own boxing ring, wall climbing tracks, and theme park.

I would learn any martial arts I wanted. I think, if I had financial freedom, I'd turn myself into Batman. Not like Batwoman or Batgirl. But female and cheerful version of Bruce Wayne, because he's rich, smart, multilingual, and master multiple martial arts. Yeah that's why he's my favourite superhero ever.

I might be a superhero, like Batman, but with values like Marvel's the Punisher. Rich version of the Punisher, but more brutal.

Oh seriously this article is not gonna end. But I have to end it because these are all just a 'what if'. Now I need to do some things to make them real. Adios amigos!

Something I Feel Strongly About

Wednesday, January 17, 2018

Day 10: Write about something for which you feel strongly

Okay, to be honest, I'm not really sure what this question means. English is not my first language.

I just googled it and found out that it means 'to have a strong or definite opinion about something.

So, I have too many strong opinions about everything. I'm not the most open-minded person even though I try so hard to.

It's so hard for me to even choose what to talk about. I have too many things in my head.

This one is kinda sensitive but... Okay, I really think religions (maybe not all) make people lose their common sense.

Don't kill people, don't hurt people, don't harm people, don't rape, don't steal, do help people, give what you can give, control your emotions, and so on. They should be a common sense.

You don't wanna harm people because it's not nice to be harmed. Don't do to others what you don't want others do to you. That's as simple as that.
When people are in need, and we're able to help, we help. Because why not?

But in some religions I know, with the concept of heaven and hell, punishment and rewards, people seem to lose their common sense and their humanity.

Oh in this very holy month, if we give charity, we will have more rewards in heaven. If we help this kinda people, we'll have bigger rewards. If we kill, rape, rob people, steal from people, lie to people, we'll be punished in hell. If we believe in certain religion, we're more likely to go to heaven. If we don't believe in certain religion, we won't be able to go to heaven, no matter how good we are. If we kill certain people, we'll be rewarded with virgins.

No, I'm not talking about your religion. Why so sensitive?

I mean, religious people can do or not do anything just because of the rewards and punishments.

You know, here in Indonesia, people are so concerned and judgemental about things like LGBT, adultery, and alcoholism. I'm not talking whether it is right or wrong. But, seriously? Do you wanna know why they are so concerned about those things? No, not because they're bad things, or because they're worried about those people. No! They're very concerned about those things, because they're so afraid of being punished by God, if they let those things happen.

So, instead of making people better, I think religions make people think much more about themselves than about anyone else. Well, I actually believe that technically, everyone is doing everything for themselves.

But here's the way I see it. Let's say, there were these three little children, and there's this box of chocolates.
Their mother told the older brothers to make sure that their little brother didn't eat too much chocolates, because it's not good for his teeth or health, or because it can make him hyperactive.

When the mother left, both the older brothers tried so hard to keep the chocolate away from their little brother. One of the older brothers did it because he didn't want his little brother to be sick, or to be hyperactive, because their mother would be worried or stressed. He really worried about his little brother and his mother, because he cares.

The other brother only did it because he didn't wanna get in trouble. He didn't want his little brother to eat the chocolates because he didn't want his mother to punish him.

Why did the mother put that box of chocolates there in the first place, right? Well, there's another controversial question. The Mom just knows better. We don't question him... I mean her.

Anyway, both older brothers did try to stop their little brother to eat the chocolates for themselves. The first brother didn't want to see his little brother sick, because he loves him, and he would be sad if his brother got sick, so basically he just didn't want himself to be sad. Yes, I'm aware of this.

But at least he really cares about his little brother, you know what I mean?

Here's the difference it can make:
If some bad guy came and said, "Hey, you know what, your mom just told me that your little brother can have all the chocolates he wants. He may get sick, but your mom wouldn't punish you for that."

Why would the mom let the bad guy in and talk on behalf of her in the first place? Another controversial question you shouldn't ask.

Anyway, the brother who really cares would still stop the little brother from eating all the chocolates. But the one who was just afraid of being punished would just let the little brother eat the chocolates, because who cares if the little brother got sick? He's not being punished. It's all that matters.

These people, these religious people, they don't even think about how what they do can affect others. The hell with others. The hell with common sense. I'm going to heaven. It's all that matters. So yes, they can judge people all they want, they can do whatever they want to people, because they really need to save themselves from the punishment!

That's why, here in Indonesia, people can drag a couple out of the hotel room and punish them all they want, but no one is dragging corruptors from their fancy houses, because when people steal, God wouldn't punish people around them, unlike adultery.

I'm not saying all the religious people are heartless morons and all the atheist are saints. There are also some religious people that still have common sense and not reward-oriented. But seriously, all these rewards and punishments things seem to weaken humanity.

I'm religious myself. I'm rewards and punishments oriented (or more just punishments oriented actually), even though I don't wanna be like that. I'm actually talking about myself too. So please, no offense. I'm also offended by my opinion, so we're on the same side here.

Anyway, I really admire people who don't really care about all those shits, and just do good in their lives, just because. I know plenty of people like that. Most of them are atheist. But some of them are religious too.

Now I'm gonna quote something I twitted years ago:

"I know some people who forgive themselves for bad things they've done or they're still doing, just because they believe that God will forgive them anyway. I also know some people who don't believe in God but they happen to be the nicest, purest people around me. I do believe in God. I just don't believe that believing in God has any correlations at all with being a good person. When you're good, you're good. When you're bad, you're bad."

Speaking Words of Wisdom, Let it Be

Tuesday, January 16, 2018

30 Days Writing Challenge Day 9:
Post Some Words of Wisdom that Speak to You

I have some. They're anonymous but really speak to me.

"Today is the beginning of everything you want."

"In a society that profits from your self doubt, liking yourself is a rebellious act."

"Money isn't everything, but everything needs money."

"Loneliness is dangerous. It's addicting. Once you see how peaceful it is, you don't want to deal with people."

Make money, self improvement, me time, loved ones

Monday, January 15, 2018

30 Days Writing Challenge, Day 8: Share something you struggle with

Whoa! That's heavy!

Okay, I'm struggling with a lot of things. We are all struggling with a lot of things.

I wanna share my daily struggle of managing my time to spend. I struggle to set my priorities.

Every single day I need to make money, I need to reach my own goals, I need me time, and I also really need to spend time with my family.

Of course making money should be the first priority, since I'm not Bill Gates or his family member. Then I wanna reach my other goals, such as learning languages, writing books, or practicing my drawing skills. But I also need me time, or I'll lose my mind. I need some relaxing time to play games, read books, or just exploring social media.

I also want to spend time with family. I want to have all the time to spend with my sister and her fiancé, my brother and his wife, my mom, and especially my dad. I want to listen carefully to whatever he's got to say, I want to talk about football, about his beautiful childhood, about my childhood, about his dreams, even about politics.

I want to spend time with my cousins, my aunts, my uncles, and especially my nieces and nephews. I want to see them grow. I want to play with them in the theme parks or football fields. I want to talk with my cousins, uncles, and aunts about everything happens in our lives.

So the struggle is real.

If I don't make money, I'll have no money. If I had no money, I wouldn't be able to buy food, clothes, new books, birthday presents for my loved ones, I wouldn't be able to pay for the transportation I need to go anywhere.

If I didn't reach my personal goals, I wouldn't be happy, even if I was surrounded by the loved ones, something would be missing. I can't really explain my urge to reach all those goals, but they are very, very important to me.

I want to write books, because I have so many ideas in my head, and I really need to share them. I need to learn as many languages as possible, because everytime I met a non-english-speaking foreigner, or travel to non-english-speaking countries, I really have to speak their languages. When we were in Greece, my dad left his hat in the bus station, and the taxi driver who took us from the station to our hotel didn't speak English. I just needed to deliver a simple message: "My dad left his hat in the bus. Can we go back to the bus station?" But back then I didn't speak Greek!

And me time, if I don't have any time to myself, I'll go crazy! I need a break. Everyone needs a break.

And I'm a very introverted person. I'm so happy to be surrounded with my family, but I got tired too. At some point, I just wanna be quiet and let them all do the talk. People make me tired, even the loved ones.

And people! People are so hard to maintain.

I love too many people in my life. I love my family, I love my best friends, and I have plenty of them! I don't wanna lose my moment with any of them. I don't wanna miss any important moment in their life. But I have very limited time, money, and energy!

But you know what? I know some people out there who can juggle all of those needs pretty well. They even have wife, husband, and even children!

I really think the key is to eliminate the 'making money' part. Of all those things, making money is the only thing I don't enjoy at all, but at the same time the one I really have to do.

So, what I really need to do is building passive income as soon and as much as possible. I really need to find the fastest and most effective way to make money without having to work ever again.

When I have unlimited money, I'll have unlimited time and energy. So I'd have everything. I'd be able to learn any language I want, travel wherever I want, do whatever I want, spend all the time with my dad, my brother and sister and their wife and fiancé, and even my mom, and my aunts, uncles, cousins, nephews and nieces, friends, and I'd still have a lot of me time!