My mood and focus was (and probably still is) swinging very...hard? Yeah the swing is very hard core! Like I probably have some symptoms of bipolar disorder. But which woman doesn't?
It all started with me trying to learn how to play flute. Is it even flute? I don't think so, but let's just call it flute to make it simple.
So at first I was thinking, "Wow I suck at this!" (Cheerfully and curiously). And it motivated me to learn seriously. Many times I heard, to master something, we need to practice it at least 1 hour a day. So, if I practice flute 1 hour a day, I'll master it.
But, another theory I've heard said, to master some skill perfectly, you need to practice it for 10,000 hours in total. So, if I only played the flute for one hour a day, I'd need about 27 years to master it! What??
And it's not even in my top priority list! On my very long list, I still have many other skills to master. So, it turned me from motivated to demotivated. Then I did the math instead, literally. How many hours a day do I have to practice a skill to master it in 5 years? And, with that calculation, how many skills at max, can I master in 5 years?
And so I wrote this:
http://astaripahlevisdiary.blogspot.co.id/2016/09/renungan-10000-jam.html?m=1
Yeah it was my previous post.
And I was kinda satisfied with the post, and I became motivated again, not to play flute, but to write, realizing that I've been writing for more than 10,000 hours in my whole life. I was motivated and proud.
And then I posted the link on my social media time line and was hoping that he'd see it. And suddenly I remember that he never paid attention to any of my works that I am proud of. He's always focused on the bad things I did or wrote. So, suddenly I became angry. And wrote this:
"Oh! This jealousy!
I've once wrote about jealousy,
how I wonder how that be.
That it doesn't make sense, I agree.
Yet here I am now, blinded by jealousy,
burned and drowned by jealousy,
That he won't see me!
He follows those accounts with lots of selfie!
Bitches are not even his own blood, unlike me!
Look at me!
I don't do selfie!
I write. Say something about me!
Oh this jealousy burns me."
:
But... ah fuck I gotta go now. Continue this later.
It all started with me trying to learn how to play flute. Is it even flute? I don't think so, but let's just call it flute to make it simple.
So at first I was thinking, "Wow I suck at this!" (Cheerfully and curiously). And it motivated me to learn seriously. Many times I heard, to master something, we need to practice it at least 1 hour a day. So, if I practice flute 1 hour a day, I'll master it.
But, another theory I've heard said, to master some skill perfectly, you need to practice it for 10,000 hours in total. So, if I only played the flute for one hour a day, I'd need about 27 years to master it! What??
And it's not even in my top priority list! On my very long list, I still have many other skills to master. So, it turned me from motivated to demotivated. Then I did the math instead, literally. How many hours a day do I have to practice a skill to master it in 5 years? And, with that calculation, how many skills at max, can I master in 5 years?
And so I wrote this:
http://astaripahlevisdiary.blogspot.co.id/2016/09/renungan-10000-jam.html?m=1
Yeah it was my previous post.
And I was kinda satisfied with the post, and I became motivated again, not to play flute, but to write, realizing that I've been writing for more than 10,000 hours in my whole life. I was motivated and proud.
And then I posted the link on my social media time line and was hoping that he'd see it. And suddenly I remember that he never paid attention to any of my works that I am proud of. He's always focused on the bad things I did or wrote. So, suddenly I became angry. And wrote this:
"Oh! This jealousy!
I've once wrote about jealousy,
how I wonder how that be.
That it doesn't make sense, I agree.
Yet here I am now, blinded by jealousy,
burned and drowned by jealousy,
That he won't see me!
He follows those accounts with lots of selfie!
Bitches are not even his own blood, unlike me!
Look at me!
I don't do selfie!
I write. Say something about me!
Oh this jealousy burns me."
:
But... ah fuck I gotta go now. Continue this later.
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