Wednesday, January 25, 2017
I suddenly remembered this theory that says, "People must have changed in 10 years."
It's not the first time I was reminded to that theory. And everytime, I would think of myself 10 years ago. I would try to remember how I was, how things were.
Luckily, since 2006 to 2009, I have always written diary every single day, with every single detail. So, from 2016 to at least two years from now, I can really tell how I was ten years ago.
So I checked my diary entries from the early 2007. Yeah those sweet memories. I don't know why did it feel so sweet. Are most memories sweet or am I just lucky?
Anyway, have I changed? Well, I can't really tell. Yes, the details are all there. But really, I don't know if anything about me has changed at all. I was and still am a kid forced to grow up because of my age and body keep growing. I was and still am happy to be surrounded by my sister, my brother, my father, and even my mother. I was and still am easily amazed by the simplest thing there is. I overreact about everything, either in positive or negative way.
I'm still as misunderstood as me 10 years ago. That's why, like 10 years ago, I still prefer being alone, having conversations with myself, than having conversations with real people out there. I'm still as much as a loner I was 10 years ago.
So, what is it? Come on!
I'm wiser, I guess, I hope. Well, I'm not wise. Not yet. I wish I will become wise someday, somehow. But at least, today I feel somewhat wiser than I was 10 years ago.
Is there any certain age where people just stop growing up mentally?
Yeah I don't see/read/feel any different between me nowadays and who or what I was 10 years ago. Well, what I was and what I am luckily are different. I was a college student with lots of homeworks and deadlines, and now I'm a woman with career, income, and a bit more responsibility for myself and more other things, less deadlines tho'.
Well there you go! There have been some changes after all. Ten years ago, I was still living from my parents' money. That's why it was so easy for me to spend my money for useless things like snacks and charity. Lol, I'm kidding. No I'm not. Yeah, ever since I started to earn my own money, it started to be so difficult to give. Because I really feel how hard it is to earn some money.
Anyway, I just read the first 25 days of my 2007 diary, and most of it made me smile. Such sweet memories.
I didn't use to appreciate my luck of having my brother and sister. Not until I left home 13 years ago. Being away from everyone I love, I suddenly realized how much I love them and how lucky I am to have them. All of the first 25 days of my 2007 were marked by me as beautiful, happy days, and most of the times, it was because of my brother and sister.
My sister was about to graduate from high school and was looking for university, while my brother was looking for identity. My sister was with her now ex-boyfriend. I just realized something. We simply like each other's boyfriend/girlfriend when the boyfriend/girlfriend doesn't ruin our circle. We should always be able to hang out together. Because if I have to choose between spending time with my boyfriend or my siblings, I will always choose my siblings, 100% of the times! No, guys, I don't expect you to do the same. And even if I do, it's still not your obligation to fulfill my expectations.
Then there are some other memories too, from my 2007. I spent a lot of time with the three girls, my best friends till forever. One of my best friends has clearly changed, 180 degrees different, from 10 years ago. And every single day I miss the old her so much! Still respect the new her anyway.
And there was my legendary lecturer, the guru of indonesian graphic design. I was so sad when he passed away 3 years ago. His class was always interesting.
And there was also this class, Visual Language. I loved that class. In our first session, we were given a task to draw our favorite flower (bunga). And almost without thinking, I started to draw a money tree. It means 'interest' or here we call it 'bunga bank'. We always had to write the meanings or the concepts of our work. So here's what I wrote back then:
"Begitu mendengar kata bunga, yang muncul di pikiran saya pertama kali adalah bunga bank. Ini adalah bunga favorit saya."
When the lecturer read my description to the class, she and the class just couldn't stop laughing. I was happy because: a, I was being totally honest. I mean, come on! Who really loves any flower more than money? And b, I made everyone laugh. I always enjoy making people laugh.
My work got one of the highest grade. My drawing was really bad compared to anyone in the class, but at least I was different. As graphic designer students, we were all about being different and thinking outside the box. So, I kinda won, or felt like it.
And to enjoy making people laugh, that thing has never changed. Yeah, that's all I wanna say about my 10 years ago.
I suddenly remembered this theory that says, "People must have changed in 10 years."
It's not the first time I was reminded to that theory. And everytime, I would think of myself 10 years ago. I would try to remember how I was, how things were.
Luckily, since 2006 to 2009, I have always written diary every single day, with every single detail. So, from 2016 to at least two years from now, I can really tell how I was ten years ago.
So I checked my diary entries from the early 2007. Yeah those sweet memories. I don't know why did it feel so sweet. Are most memories sweet or am I just lucky?
Anyway, have I changed? Well, I can't really tell. Yes, the details are all there. But really, I don't know if anything about me has changed at all. I was and still am a kid forced to grow up because of my age and body keep growing. I was and still am happy to be surrounded by my sister, my brother, my father, and even my mother. I was and still am easily amazed by the simplest thing there is. I overreact about everything, either in positive or negative way.
I'm still as misunderstood as me 10 years ago. That's why, like 10 years ago, I still prefer being alone, having conversations with myself, than having conversations with real people out there. I'm still as much as a loner I was 10 years ago.
So, what is it? Come on!
I'm wiser, I guess, I hope. Well, I'm not wise. Not yet. I wish I will become wise someday, somehow. But at least, today I feel somewhat wiser than I was 10 years ago.
Is there any certain age where people just stop growing up mentally?
Yeah I don't see/read/feel any different between me nowadays and who or what I was 10 years ago. Well, what I was and what I am luckily are different. I was a college student with lots of homeworks and deadlines, and now I'm a woman with career, income, and a bit more responsibility for myself and more other things, less deadlines tho'.
Well there you go! There have been some changes after all. Ten years ago, I was still living from my parents' money. That's why it was so easy for me to spend my money for useless things like snacks and charity. Lol, I'm kidding. No I'm not. Yeah, ever since I started to earn my own money, it started to be so difficult to give. Because I really feel how hard it is to earn some money.
Anyway, I just read the first 25 days of my 2007 diary, and most of it made me smile. Such sweet memories.
I didn't use to appreciate my luck of having my brother and sister. Not until I left home 13 years ago. Being away from everyone I love, I suddenly realized how much I love them and how lucky I am to have them. All of the first 25 days of my 2007 were marked by me as beautiful, happy days, and most of the times, it was because of my brother and sister.
My sister was about to graduate from high school and was looking for university, while my brother was looking for identity. My sister was with her now ex-boyfriend. I just realized something. We simply like each other's boyfriend/girlfriend when the boyfriend/girlfriend doesn't ruin our circle. We should always be able to hang out together. Because if I have to choose between spending time with my boyfriend or my siblings, I will always choose my siblings, 100% of the times! No, guys, I don't expect you to do the same. And even if I do, it's still not your obligation to fulfill my expectations.
Then there are some other memories too, from my 2007. I spent a lot of time with the three girls, my best friends till forever. One of my best friends has clearly changed, 180 degrees different, from 10 years ago. And every single day I miss the old her so much! Still respect the new her anyway.
And there was my legendary lecturer, the guru of indonesian graphic design. I was so sad when he passed away 3 years ago. His class was always interesting.
And there was also this class, Visual Language. I loved that class. In our first session, we were given a task to draw our favorite flower (bunga). And almost without thinking, I started to draw a money tree. It means 'interest' or here we call it 'bunga bank'. We always had to write the meanings or the concepts of our work. So here's what I wrote back then:
"Begitu mendengar kata bunga, yang muncul di pikiran saya pertama kali adalah bunga bank. Ini adalah bunga favorit saya."
When the lecturer read my description to the class, she and the class just couldn't stop laughing. I was happy because: a, I was being totally honest. I mean, come on! Who really loves any flower more than money? And b, I made everyone laugh. I always enjoy making people laugh.
My work got one of the highest grade. My drawing was really bad compared to anyone in the class, but at least I was different. As graphic designer students, we were all about being different and thinking outside the box. So, I kinda won, or felt like it.
And to enjoy making people laugh, that thing has never changed. Yeah, that's all I wanna say about my 10 years ago.
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