Everytime anyone asks me to marry him (no, no one is asking me recently, it just randomly popped out in my mind), I always ask myself, do I love him as much as I love my dad? How do I know?
I imagine three things:
1. Something bad happened to him and caused him to lose both of his legs: would I still be there and take care of him for the rest of our life?
2. We were in a car accident, the car is about to explode, and he was unconscious: would I just get the hell outta the car and save my ass before the car explodes, or would I bother trying to save him, trying to drag him outta the car with a risk of being blown up together?
3. Someone (on purpose or not) shot a bullet at him: would I take the bullet for him? Would I heroically jump in front of him?
So yeah, I always imagine those three things to really know if I really love someone. Has the answer been a yes? Nope. Except for number 3. Sometimes the answer is yes. When someone shot him, yes, I'd heroically jump in front of him. But only if he was shot from the back! So basically I was just covering myself! Lol!
But actually, if I really love him as much as I love my dad, I wouldn't even dare to imagine anything bad happen to him.
Am I an idealistic for thinking this way? Well, I mean, if I ever said yes to a proposal, it would mean a lot! It would mean that I've gotta share my life with him. I would have to live under the same roof with him! I would have to share dreams and goals with him. And if our dreams a bit different, we've got to compromise. It's freaking huge!
Yeah, actually, if you're about to marry someone, you have to make sure that you both share the same vision, mission, dreams, and goals. Because that's kinda the whole point, isn't it?
So, for selfless people, their goals most probably are having a happy family with a kid or more, raise the kids together, grow old together while keep making each other happy.
But what about people like me, with very personal goals? I wanna publish books, travel the world, learn languages, study interesting things just because, save the animals and the environment. Yeah it is easy to find a man who is wealthy and ready to make a family. And maybe also happens to have a good genes to make beautiful children. But a true partner in achieving bigger goals..., not so much.
Point is, marriage is a HUGE commitment. It won't always be easy. And whether you are willing to do it or not, you will have to be there in the worst moments, because you'd have promised him for better or worse.
If you love him or her because he or she is beautiful, imagine if something happened to that beautiful face. What if he/she became deformed? Would you still love her? And if you think you'll still love him/her because now he/she has great personality, remember that the personality could change when something really bad happened. They might become mad, depressed, and yell at you all the time.
My father just told me about the last days of one of my aunts' husband. He was one of the nicest husband ever. He was smart, caring, and willing to do everything for his wife. But when he was old and sick, he was unable to do anything, and he lost lots of memories. He forgot almost everything, and he became so furious most of the time.
You will not need to sacrifice for love. People might see whatever you did for your loved ones as a sacrifice, but you just do it for yourself, because all you want to do is making your loved one happy.
Okay, maybe it's hard to love someone as much as I love my dad, mom, brother or sister
I imagine three things:
1. Something bad happened to him and caused him to lose both of his legs: would I still be there and take care of him for the rest of our life?
2. We were in a car accident, the car is about to explode, and he was unconscious: would I just get the hell outta the car and save my ass before the car explodes, or would I bother trying to save him, trying to drag him outta the car with a risk of being blown up together?
3. Someone (on purpose or not) shot a bullet at him: would I take the bullet for him? Would I heroically jump in front of him?
So yeah, I always imagine those three things to really know if I really love someone. Has the answer been a yes? Nope. Except for number 3. Sometimes the answer is yes. When someone shot him, yes, I'd heroically jump in front of him. But only if he was shot from the back! So basically I was just covering myself! Lol!
But actually, if I really love him as much as I love my dad, I wouldn't even dare to imagine anything bad happen to him.
Am I an idealistic for thinking this way? Well, I mean, if I ever said yes to a proposal, it would mean a lot! It would mean that I've gotta share my life with him. I would have to live under the same roof with him! I would have to share dreams and goals with him. And if our dreams a bit different, we've got to compromise. It's freaking huge!
Yeah, actually, if you're about to marry someone, you have to make sure that you both share the same vision, mission, dreams, and goals. Because that's kinda the whole point, isn't it?
So, for selfless people, their goals most probably are having a happy family with a kid or more, raise the kids together, grow old together while keep making each other happy.
But what about people like me, with very personal goals? I wanna publish books, travel the world, learn languages, study interesting things just because, save the animals and the environment. Yeah it is easy to find a man who is wealthy and ready to make a family. And maybe also happens to have a good genes to make beautiful children. But a true partner in achieving bigger goals..., not so much.
Point is, marriage is a HUGE commitment. It won't always be easy. And whether you are willing to do it or not, you will have to be there in the worst moments, because you'd have promised him for better or worse.
If you love him or her because he or she is beautiful, imagine if something happened to that beautiful face. What if he/she became deformed? Would you still love her? And if you think you'll still love him/her because now he/she has great personality, remember that the personality could change when something really bad happened. They might become mad, depressed, and yell at you all the time.
My father just told me about the last days of one of my aunts' husband. He was one of the nicest husband ever. He was smart, caring, and willing to do everything for his wife. But when he was old and sick, he was unable to do anything, and he lost lots of memories. He forgot almost everything, and he became so furious most of the time.
You will not need to sacrifice for love. People might see whatever you did for your loved ones as a sacrifice, but you just do it for yourself, because all you want to do is making your loved one happy.
Okay, maybe it's hard to love someone as much as I love my dad, mom, brother or sister
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